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Original poster

Newborn sleep - I'm going crazy!!

41 replies

RuthB4 · 20/05/2017 15:48

Is this just me?? What would you do?!

I have a 2 week old DD (second baby) and I am seriously sleep deprived! I know this is normal but I am literally awake ALL night on some nights, and on others only manage an hour's sleep on average.

The problem is that my baby has wind that I can't seem to bring up, whatever I try (and I've been obsessively googling how to wind a baby, and trying all the techniques). I find I spend hours trying to get the wind up and if i give up and lay her down she just squirms and moans and writhes until she wails! I know it is ridiculous to spend so long trying to wind her, and I suspect that it wears her out and interferes with her rest to be constantly manhandled. But I can't let her wail in pain! I find myself sobbing most nights with the ridiculousness of it all! I am soooo desperate for sleep! My DH returns to work on Monday after 2 weeks paternity leave and although my parents are visiting from the UK (I live in NZ) I suspect it'll be harder for me to get sleep in the daytime.

I don't know why I'm typing this really, other than to vent, and typing this stops me crying for a bit.

Please tell me others have expeeienced this! It was exactly the same with my first child and I remember my DH and I were hallucinating from lack of sleep!!!

OP posts:
missanony · 25/05/2017 14:51

Over your shoulder and up and down the stairs

Infacol

laying on tummy whilst you tap their back and shhh

Redken24 · 25/05/2017 18:36

A good windy movement for us is - sat on knees and moving/twisting your knees - the uneven movement should produce a burp and you can sometimes hear the milk.

LapinR0se · 25/05/2017 18:44

It sounds possible that your baby has:
Reflux
Silent reflux
Exhaustion from all the waking and handling
Or a combination.
I don't think it's "wind" per se.
Any baby that falls asleep on the breast will protest wildly at being put down.
Breastfeed, wind, swaddle, put down awake with dummy if necessary

MeltingSnowflake · 25/05/2017 19:27

I had a friend who went through exactly what you're going through - turns out her baby was allergic to something in her milk.

She was at the end of her tether, so sleep deprived and sick that she hired a maternity nurse to help - nurse realized immediately what was wrong and took her to the docs. The nurse really pushed for a special allergy formula, instead of spending ages cutting out foods and reintroducing them.

The result was almost instant - both mother and son are thriving and much happier!

BrucesTooth · 25/05/2017 19:38

One of mine had terrible wind, I did baby massage course at the local children's centre- you.could get referred by the HV and for medical reasons the course was free and you.got bumped up the list. Did the world of good doing proper tummy massages to get the wind out.

Amanduh · 26/05/2017 07:40

My son did exactly this and I thought it was wind and constipation. Turns out it was CMPI (can't have dairy)...

oldmums · 27/05/2017 19:51

if its wind, try to not eat cabbage/ peas / Brussels sprouts, an old remedy is plain boiled water, until baby is old enough for grip water. A nice tummy massage often works too.I would keep up with trying to swaddle. And i am sure we all feel for you because most of us have been there xx

sauceyorange · 27/05/2017 22:44

Wouldn't bother with a routine at this stage, it's just more hoops to jump through. At about your stage I accepted that My baby was only going to sleep on my chest- that's where she felt secure and safe. She regularly did 2-3 hours whereas on her back, 20 mins if I was lucky. Once I'd accepted that consleeping was happening if I liked it or not (!) then I worked out how to wedge my arms with pillows so neither of us could move, and we both got some rest. Over the weeks she moved down into the crook of my arm and then next to me. By 9 weeks she was sleeping happily on her back in a clip on cot. Expectations are key! You'll get there- it really doesn't last forever, I promise

intergalacticbrexitdisco · 28/05/2017 00:14

Nannybeach - you're not helping a recently-postpartum woman at risk of PND and under severe stress.

OP - I second fennel tea, and feeding while lying down. You can look into safely cosleeping or do what I do with my third baby, wait until he sleeps and then shift him over into his cosleeper crib.

Don't rule out reflux. If you're still feeling there is an issue in a few days to a week, see the Dr. My second baby had refkux and it's rather like you describe. It's worth a check.

Thirdly, don't be a martyr (in the nicest possible way!). A bottle, especially while your family are around, never caused any harm. Do what you have to do to take care of yourself. Good luck!

Newtothis11 · 28/05/2017 06:18

I found the wind came up when I stopped trying- standing up or changing rhythm of taps.

A few things that worked for us

  • When putting baby over your shoulder apply some pressure to the belly against your body
  • when winding sitting on your knee lean baby forwards, but pressure through your palm on belly and support heck with fingers (it is fiddly) the rub/ pat back
  • now DS is older he'll bring up eindduring tummy time and I often wonder if more tummy time would have helped when he was younger (not sure)
  • I also found wind was more of an issue in the night but that it would build upon the day - try to keep on top of it if you can

Fingers crossed having TT cut will help as baby is probably taking more air town. I have a fast let town which used to make DS squeak (not sure how else to describe it) which added to his wind - leaning back when feeding helped loads to slow the milk down.

If you can try to get out in the day- a walk may help baby sleep and will certainly help you. Do you have friends/ family that can help in the day to give you time for done sleep?

I wish I could offer more pearls of wisdom but as I'm sure you know from your first it will get better and does pass. the hardest thing I found was there was no end to the day but they blended together - if you can start a little routine it may make a difference a difference to how you feel.

Beelost · 28/05/2017 15:35

I was totally sleep deprived before we got our 13th tooth. It led to serious health problems. I tried everything possible, doctors, pills, non-traditional methods. Nothing helped. Only a fitness ball helped a little. It was easier to rock my daughter while sitting on a ball.
Time heals

WimbledonMum1 · 28/05/2017 19:10

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
RuthB4 · 28/05/2017 21:02

Thanks everyone for the replies and the ideas! Fast forward a week and things have improved a bit.

I have started swaddling her again which definitely helps as although she's writhing with wind she doesn't always wake herself up by startling. I bought a gro-swaddle sleep sack which has the option of swaddling her or letting her arms be free. We've also been co-sleeping a bit better. I don't want to get her into the habit of it (i Co slept with my eldest for 10 months after i broke my ankle and was forced to. I did enjoy it but felt it was unfair on hubby who had to move into the spare room) but at the moment I just want to do what's going to give me sleep! And i know it's natural for a newborn to want to be close to mummy.

We had her tongue tie cut on Friday. Turns out it was a severe one and would have prevented her from swallowing solids at a later date! Her latch is shocking though. If anything it's got worse! And so I need to re-teach her how to latch. I can't face getting a lactation consultant just because life feels overwhelming at the moment with my 21 month toddler too. But i know i might need to.

My DH has also been doing stretches of minding the baby in the evening so i can get a head start on sleep. It doesn't help the feelings of being down though as i feel like i miss the only time of the day where i can unwind and be with my DH and enjoy watching telly with him.

Im being monitored for PND. At the moment I'm finding it incredibly hard with 2 small children but i know (hope!!!) it'll get better. I've gone off the idea of having three children!!!

OP posts:
NameChange30 · 28/05/2017 21:18

Glad things are getting a bit better.

I also miss spending down time with DH in the evening and going to bed at the same time as each other, which we very rarely do atm, but I tell myself we're doing what we have to do to take care of each other (given than we both need sleep!) and it's only temporary - I'm hoping the sleep routines will improve and we'll get our evenings and nights back eventually!

About the tongue tie and latch - I was told that after a TT division, it can get worse before it gets better, because as you say, they have to re-learn to feed, using their tongue properly this time. Sometimes TT practitioners can offer support afterwards - does yours? If not maybe you could go to a breastfeeding drop-in for help with latch. I went to a few and found them very helpful (plus they're free unlike a private consultation with a lactation consultant).

Anyway it sounds like good progress so far and I'm sure things will continue to improve. Hang on in there!

Original poster
RuthB4 · 29/05/2017 21:52

Thanks Namechange. That's reassuring to hear that the latch can get worse after TT release. I hope that's what's happened! I also think she has a bit of a child which is making her feel lousy and so not trying so hard with her latch. There is a breastfeeding clinic near me which i could go to. I just can't go easily at the moment, post c-section and with toddler in tow!

Sheesh parenting is hard!!!!

OP posts:
haveacupoftea · 01/06/2017 11:04

My DS is a bit windy but will settle for 2-3 hours in the Cocoonababy

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