10 month old won't self settle after illness

[Artiepants]

My 10 month old DD had over a week of illness the week before last - bad gastro bug - and was sleeping on me in the day as she was so poorly. She's now fully recovered and for the past 10 days will no longer self settle on her cot for naps or at bedtime. She reaches for the door and cries and cries. We go in and out and shhhh and pat her but she often becomes inconsolable. She gets soooo upset. I thought after 10 days of 'controlled crying' we would be seeing an improvement but if anything it's getting worse. I gave up after 30 mins of screaming and put her in her buggy at lunchtime nap today to sleep as we were both so stressed out.

She was a brilliant sleeper and was no trouble getting to sleep and it's so tiring to go through all this - and so awful to hear and see her get so upset. I did wonder if she is teething which could be contributing but who knows. I have two other children and the time spent getting her to sleep is not easy to handle right now. Plus I hate hearing her get so very upset.

Any advice?

She was a brilliant sleeper and was no trouble getting to sleep

Then you should be able to get back to that, don't worry. And no need to get everyone stressed by leavibg her to scream.

I would start with some in-cot settling. Is your partner around at bedtime? While the aim would be that settling her to slerp takes 10-15 minutes, initially it might take 30-60 minutes. Ideally it needs you to be able to focus on baby, with someone else sorting out your other two children.

So start by bending into the cot, firm hand on baby's chest/back/shoulder. Don't push down, byt baby should feel thr weight of your hand. The idea is that baby can close her eyes and still feel that you are right there and going nowhere.

So lean into cot, firm hand, some patting and shushing as needed. Stay until fully asleep, don't stand up or move throughout. Seek out once fully asleep. Repeat any wake up.

Get this established do she trusts you'll never sneek out too soon and you'll alway give reassurance until asleep. Once she trusts you to stay, the battle to stay awake (in order to keep you there) stops and going to sleep gets quicker. Expect less than 15 minutes.

Then start reducing her dependence on reassurance. So lean into cot with firm hand to settle. Stand straight up when calm. Return to leaning in with firm hand if upset, always withdraw when calm. Stay until asleep.

Then settle initially but take a step away. Return firm hand if distressed, withdraw once calm. Stay until asleep.

Then stand by door when calm. Then stand outside of door once calm. And so on.

Yes don't worry for sure , she sounds like she has it in her ! It can take a while for them to feel back to normal , my favourite mantra is always 'it's just a phase' , this too shall pass and she will self settle again. She is still little, comfort her if she needs it and try and stick to the routine and she will get there 😊

Thank you both. So nice to have a bit of reassurance - I know it's a phase but feels so long even when it's not really.

I was doing the hand on back last week and it worked mostly but the poor sausage won't even go near her cot really now. And when I put her in it she stands up, throws her dummy and howls. I try and lie her down and she gets straight back up. And if I cuddle her she mostly tries to wriggle off and reach for the door to leave the room.

It will pass - I just hope quickly!