Nap strategy - 5 week old

[Saz467]

Hello

Looking for some help from someone with a bit more experience than me... btw I know that that five weeks old I'm probably overthinking this, and he could be totally different next week, but nonetheless...

My 5 week old son seems to resist naps. Most sources I have seen suggest that babies this age should sleep 14 to 17 hours per day. My son averages about 10. He will sleep happily in 3-4 hour stretches at night, but I'm lucky to get him to sleep for two hours overall during the day. He doesn't seem to get very grouchy, but I assume that the cycle of overtiredness is the least part of the reason he's not dropping off.

I try to put him down 90 minutes after previous waking, and I watch carefully for sleepy signals. I try to get him to a state of sleepiness before I put him down, and will then leave him with white noise. Occasionally he will drop off, but this morning he lay in his basket, happy but totally awake for an hour, and the same in his pram this afternoon.

I sometimes have success by feeding him to sleep and sneakily putting him down, but this is not really how I want to go about it.

Any ideas as to why he is not dropping off? Can I help him without intervening too much? And is there a point at which you give up on the nap and e.g. have some playtime? Obviously if I have failed to get him to sleep and it comes round to feeding time again, I feed.

TIA.

Thanks blue. As my previous post says, I did suggest that we agree to disagree and drop the subject as it is a difference of opinion and I am going to leave it there. Fate's experience of CC may have resulted in blurred lines when her child was crying during teething/in pain/unwell etc but I am confident enough to know when my daughter needs me and give her that attention when necessary.

said poster had a lovely, and quite random, personal attack rant at me on a thread she wasn't involved in when I was talking through speeded up gradual withdrawal (I think it was) with another poster. And seems to reference me loads in her posts
The poster in question has form for popping into random sleep board threads to reopen the subject - the very same way Fate reopened this thread to have a personal attack on me
I started a thread a few months ago, absolutely desperate for help due to a non-sleeping crying baby. I was never leaving her to cry alone but she was refusing to sleep no matter what I tried - at the time the choice was lying with her and cuddling her while she cried and exhausted herself to sleep or allowing her to stay awake all day and cry due to overtiredness and exhaustion. I chose the former. Fate rudely responded that I was not helping my baby in anyway and doing her harm by allowing her to cry. In her opinion, babies should be always happy and never cry. Many other posters also responded at how cruel and unhelpful her advice to me was. However, her comments affected me deeply in a big way and were a massive kick in the teeth when I was already down and really struggling.
When she posted on another thread to someone else a few months later to consider tolerance for crying, it struck a nerve with me. I did respond on that thread to point out how different that was to her attack on me a few months prior. I wanted her to be aware how her comments may affect other parents.
That occasion aside, I have NEVER gone into any thread to reopen any subject. Any reference I have made to Fate has been a positive one and have encouraged posters to follow her advice as she appears to be quite knowledgable on the topic.

This thread has shown me an extremely nasty side to her. She refuses to see anyone else point of view and appears to take great pleasure in ripping them to pieces for doing something she doesn't agree with. Comments like Given that you have previously normalised prioritising of your own well-being over your child's are highly insulting and go against everything I have posted as my daughter's sleep issues have never been about me not getting enough rest. I am not going to stoop to her level and judge her parenting but I will say there are parenting decisions she has posted about that I would never make in a million years.

I posted on this thread in the hope that the OP would not make my mistakes and end up in the horrible situation I was where I was crying alongside my daughter because I could see how upset and tired she was but just wouldn't sleep. I hope that was of some use to you OP and I apologise for your thread being derailed.

the very same way Fate reopened this thread

Last post to do with OP: 13/05/2017 14:48

Thread midway down the Sleep board thread list, off my 'Threads Im On' list completely. Then...

16/05/2017 12:27: riddles26 posted...

I didn't reopen the thread. I really don't have the inclination or interest to.

Please stop.

I came on to tell the OP my experience in the hope she didn't end up having my problems. Unlike you, I don't spend all day everyday on Mumsnet so if I see something that I think I may be able to add something useful to, I still do it a couple of days after the original post was started.

You may not have reopened the thread but you responded to my post to personally attack me rather than offer any help to the original problem and kept going and going.
You really won't stop unless you get the last word will you..?!

I suggest you take your own advice and stop

Oh Riddles, I can't imagine how heartbreakingly hard that time must have been for you I hope you and your little one are doing ok now. I think mums that survive very poor sleeping babies are actual genuine superheroes

Thanks so much blue, it was close to torture at the time to hear her cry and not be able to fix it, no matter what I tried. I used to cry everyday as it distressed us both so much.
I am forever grateful that something changed the day we started sleep training with the consultant and she took to it like a textbook baby without protest (even though she had resisted the same method when I did it a few weeks earlier, just without the professional help).

to you riddles x

Thanks all for your advice. I have been trying shush/pat for a couple of days now with some success. The pram/sling does work, but I really don't want to be dependent on them - e.g. today it was pouring with rain but I wanted him to have a catnap before bath.

The problem I find is that whilst shush pat may work eventually, it can take so long that it's almost time for another feed. There is obviously no point in trying to get a hungry baby to sleep, so I feed again and by this stage he's been awake for ages and is overtired.

Anyway, I know he's too young to get much established at the moment, so I'm just trying to ride it out as best I can, getting as many naps as possible, and I look forward to his habits settling down a bit as he gets older.

Wow! This thread has been completely derailed.

Fate, your advice is so often really helpful for people, and I think the basic principles you set out for good sleep have been really useful. But there are times where your advice doesn't work - it certainly didn't for me but that was because none of it would ever have worked as it turned out my son had reflux. I have seen another poster suggest this to you too in another thread much like this - you are getting very dogmatic and you do need to take a step back. Yes, we understand you don't advocate controlled crying. Yes, we understand you disagree the poster's method was 'gentle', just as she disagrees with you. Yes, you have a number of children with whom your methods have worked, but you haven't mothered EVERY child. Your advice is just advice, no one HAS to use it, so stop getting quite so personal with people. I can never understand why so many threads like this turn into such arguments. I think I've said it before, but what's wrong with just offering your advice, and if someone happens to take someone else's advice, then just leave them be?