My DS share a room and we've always done their bedtime at the same time. Basic routine is bit of milk downstairs, then upstairs for pjs, teeth, books then bed.
Both of them have always been fed/patted/rocked to sleep since birth, then as they've got older they've had one of us on their bed/by their bed/outside their room/on the landing etc while they fall asleep.
We currently sit on the steps outside their room.
There is a large amount of faffing and up and down, duvets straighted, more kisses, water etc and general pissing around which is worse some nights than others. A lot of the time it's fine and they go to sleep quickly and happily.
More recently DS1 who is almost 5yo has been complaining that "he can't sleep" and gets a bit upset that he can't drop off. He invariably says that some more milk or one of us sitting on his bed will help him fall asleep so I feel it's a delay tactic. However it did start after a weekend away when he napped in the car and then struggled for ages to fall asleep at bedtime. I wonder if that experience has made him worry about not being able to falll asleep now.
I want him to know it's ok to lie awake a bit and he mustn't worry if he doesn't fall asleep immediately it's all ok and very normal.
I feel we're far too involved in them falling asleep and it's clearly not working anymore but not sure how to get out of this situation.
Last few nights have been a nightmare with over an hour of them fucking around and DS1 crying saying he wants to go to sleep but that he can't but also just generally acting up I reckon.
I'm so bored of it all but now with this DS1 additional crying etc I'm not sur show to improve things