Feel so bad

[sarahloupowell]

DS is 4 weeks old, which I know is very early but I seriously don't know what to do! He was born with a reverse body clock as such, awake at night and sleeping during the day. We have spent time trying to readjust this, which has worked but unfortunately it seems too much! He has slept for approx 1 hour in total since 6.30am. It would be great if this awake time was him being happy but all he does is scream! He is feeding fine, wind seems fine, lots and lots of nappies but he just will not settle. I feel bad as it is sending me insane! DH has been working all day and has gone out this evening (pre arranged before we even knew I was pregnant). I just don't know how best to help him settle, any help would be appreciated X

They are usually nocturnal at the beginning! It might be good that he's been up all day today though

Have you tried a dummy to see if that helps?

What are you doing to try to help him sleep? And how is he fed?

Yes, he has a dummy, although keeping it in can prove difficult!

He is formula fed due to breastfeeding problems. After he has been fed, winded and changed I may interact if he is alert. Not for too long as not to overstimulate! He sometimes sits on me as due to wind we have been keeping him slightly upright. We put him down as soon as there are sleep cues. He starts to drift off and then fights it until he gets in a tizz!

The vast majority of new babies do not want to be put down, after being inside you for nine months they need to be able to feel you and smell you and hear your heartbeat. Have you tried carrying him in a sling? Most babies will settle very well on your chest like that and it leaves your hands free for other things.

Have you tried rocking/bouncing him to sleep and then putting him down when he's in a deep sleep? I know the books will tell you to put them down awake but especially in the tiny newborn days, plenty of them won't fall asleep that way.

Some (many) babies can't fall asleep on their own, they need to be fed or held or rocked to sleep. Some will drift off in a bouncy chair or baby swing, could you try one of those?

We do the rocking but as soon as he goes down he wakes! I have a sling so will give that a go! It's really odd because during the night and the last few weeks he more than happily went down without much intervention. I will see if your suggestions help, thank you all so much X

No e of mine have ever just 'gone to sleep'. They have all nursed/rocked/carried/cuddled to sleep.
The sling is your saviour (and has many other benefits- no flat head, less reflux as upright, better bonding, better temperature and breathing regulation). Find absling library as there are many different types and you need to find the right one for you and the baby. I'd recommend a stretchy wrap for a 4 week old.

Thanks lovelilies! We have a stretchy sling and a mai type one....I was a bout to put mai tai but I'm sure that's a cocktail! Everytime I have him near he just stares....it's like I'm over stimulating him without doing anything!

At this age awake time (from waking up from last nap to being back asleep the next nap) might only be 30 minutes.

Literally just wake, feed, wind, cuddle, back to sleep.

Some God Sends for newborn sleep:

• swaddle
• dummy
• bouncy chair naps
• sidecar cot (remove one side off a normal full sized cot and wedge it to your bed)

He's probably just happy to be with you OP!
Have a look online at the benefits of babywearing and attachment parenting online (it's not all lentil weaving and permissiveness!)
Enjoy your little squish 😊