10 month old sleeping disaster

[TheChineseChicken]

I need help! 10 month old DD has always been an ok sleeper, never slept through but usually goes 7-7 with a 5-minute feed around 3am. The last few weeks have been pretty bad. Still going down ok at 7 but now usually waking up between 5.30 and 6 and often waking up 2-3 times during the night. DH often tries to settle her but she goes crazy screaming and will only settle for me and often only with a feed. I've been trying not to feed every wake up as I don't want to reinforce her waking but it's the quickest way to get her back to sleep so I often give in.

Last night she fed at 1.30 then was awake screaming again at 3. I spent 30 minutes trying to calm her and resisted feeding even though she was thrashing around in the cot and she eventually went back to sleep, only to wake at 5.30.

She's been teething recently but I feel like this is a more fundamental problem than tooth pain IYSWIM.

Any suggestions for how we can get her sleeping back on track? Thanks

Well, I'm out of suggestions! I'm certainly no expert as I only have the one baby the same age as yours

Cosy I have a 2,5 year old and a 9 month old so in my vast (😂😂) experience I would recommend perseverance.

There is rarely little point trying to change much when you're in a cycle of over tiredness. That needs to be rectified first, then try and change the means later.

Get her to sleep however you can (feed, rock, cuddle, pram etc). Once she's has a few days of decent naps, so is used to the concept of tired=sleep, then try and manipulate the situation to suit you more.

I would strongly advise getting her to sleep 2-2.5 hours after waking for the morning. Then maybe 3 hours after that nap, try for another nap.

A nap time routine (a very modified bedtime routine) also works.

It's worth remembering that you may just not have that baby who will easily sleep anywhere, I don't. But I have found (both times) that the timings works, along with the short routine.

It has meant I'm tied to the house, but frankly, it's for such a short period, I don't mind!

Thanks Chinese - I am starting to try and introduce more solid foods (toast, fruit, veg, that sort of thing) and she's still not quit sure what to do with it. She also doesn't put food in her mouth. I know I just need to persevere though and stop stepping in quite so quickly with the spoon and puree.

I'm definitely going to try and get a proper bedtime routine going as you have suggested as like I say, I tend to be led by her when it comes to tiredness.

I'm so sorry for hijacking your post as it sounds like you were having a bad time of it. Its nice to know we're not alone in our struggles to get our babies to sleep! I hope you have another good night tonight. x

Thanks for your advice Lucky. I didn't see it pop up while I was typing. I've never really thought about her being overtired as she's so good natured and I guess I think overtired = grumpy! I do usually spot her getting tired a couple of hours after waking and will try and get her down but she won't always go down. She will usually drop off eventually in the buggy and have a good hour or two but it doesn't seem to make a difference come bed time but maybe if I can start coupling that with a proper routine before bed, that may help. My mum thinks that she's just a baby who doesn't need a lot of sleep. x

Please try and ignore that 'doesn't need sleep' advice. I have a lot of friends with children. They all need quite a considerable amount of sleep. By this I mean about 14 hours a day.

Being baby led is great, but honestly, unless you have the type of baby who will merrily take themselves into the corner to sleep, it really just doesn't work for the way we need our babies to be in the western world (I think anyway)

My post was in relation to CookingMamama, I wasn't suggesting it to do with your child CosyPinkBlanket

Luckystar1 - simply on the basis that by 12 months then baby's main source of calories should be a balanced diet and 10 months is on the latter end of that scale.

You don't need to get defensive, I was not (and would never) suggest breast milk is unhealthy. You are interpreting my post incorrectly if you are taking this inference.

You will regularly see me posting that milk feeds should be maintained at pre-weaning amounts and will often increase in early weaning. There is solid logic behind that (low calorie early weaning foods and smaller portion sizes). But there must come a point when the parent moves calorie focus towards a balanced diet. High quantities of milk in the place a good diet is not a balanced or healthy option.

You could debate how far into the weaning process 10 months is. Personally I would consider

• 0-6m: milk as the only source of calories
• 6-9m: milk as the main source of calories, along with early weaning foods
• 9-12m: balanced diet of solids as the main calorie source, milk being essential but secondary calories to solids
• 12m plus: a balanced diet of food, including dairy and milk within that diet.

So I would consider it detrimental to the development of a balanced diet to rely on any one good group for increased calories. Just milk to increase calories would be very restrictive, unless there was a medical need *like allergies for example). Increasing portion sizes is much more conducive to a balanced and healthy diet.

Hijack away, Cosy, I think you're getting some good advice from posters with more experience than me. And you're never alone with a non-sleeping baby!

How are things Cosy?

She had two naps yesterday. One around 10am for an hour or so and one (unfortunately) at 5pm for two hours! She had some dinner (pureed bean casserole) at 8pm and then had a bath at 9pm. She loves a bath but hates getting dressed so me wrestling her into nappies and onesies left her a bit annoyed (to say the least) and full energy after kicking the shit out of my boobs and arms while I was getting her dressed. So I let her play in the crib (not cot) for a while to try and calm down and I gave her a wee feed and she eventually went to sleep at 10.30pm so it only took me an hour to get her down. I can't remember if she woke through the night but she woke a few times from 5am (once it was light) but always went back over once she'd been fed and then she was ready for getting up at 9.3am! She's a real night owl and I'm wondering if this will improve once she starts nursery when I go back to work. She'll be up early and at nursery all day so will hopefully be tired and want bed early too.

I just saw a link to this thread on Facebook

You're right it may well all change once at nursery. As well as busy days, the immovable routine is really good for babies, I think. Getting up at the same time, leaving the house at the same time, meals all at exactly the same time.

I have a theory that part of the reason subsequent children are often easier than first borns is that they are born into a household that already has a child-friendly routine, from older siblings. That's my theory anyway. I am a routine-queen though.

Eh, how come?! The link on Facebook, I mean

I follow the mumsnet Facebook page, they periodically post links to threads they think might interest the wider public. This one was posted earlier today.

Ah I see

Fate, I used to be a routine queen but that has all gone out the window since I'be not been working and now got a dd with a very lax schedule of her own! I always try and give her her lunch and dinner at the same time and bedtime is around the same time, depending on how tired she is but I know that that probably isn't the best way!

The teacher in me loves a routine. But I think when on maternity leave with baby it's easy to go into "holiday mode" with the routine.

Whereas my younfest two children were born into a household that already had:

• a set 7.30 bedtime
• a set 7am wake up time (due to school and DH getting up for work)
• an immovable 8.40am school run, meaning breakfast/babys feed had to be finished by 8.30 every day
• another immovable 3.15 school run - fixing the end of afternoon naptime.
• I have an established 5.30pm family meal every evening, fixing dinner time
• I have at times already been tied to naptime with older siblings.
• I have also been tied to a 11am nursery run, fixing the end of morning nap.

All of these come together to mean that the moment my youngest (DC4) came home from hospital as a newborn, she has to fit straight into our family routine. I think it makes a big difference.

Sounds like a well oiled machine! My mum was like that when my brother and I were small and I wish I was more like that. Like I say, I'm sure once I'm back to work and dd goes to nursery, we'll find our groove. We'll have to! At the moment poor dh leaves dd and me sound asleep when he goes to work so I think he's looking forward to me going back to work so the early mornings aren't too lonely!

Have you tried the baby sleep site with their advise on regressions? Just a thought and it helped us.

www.babysleepsite.com/baby-sleep-patterns/sleep-regressions/

8 Month Sleep Regression (sometimes 9 Month Sleep Regression, or even 10 Month Sleep Regression)

This one is all thanks to the developmental milestones that are happening around 8 months, 9 months, and 10 months. At this stage, most babies are making great strides physically – learning to crawl, to pull up, to cruise, etc. There’s also a lot of brain development happening at this stage. Your baby is absorbing language like crazy! Finally, most babies are cutting at least a few teeth during this season. Add it all up, and you get more night waking, shorter (or even skipped) naps, and one cranky baby on your hands.

Just a quick update from us as I know it's helpful when people read threads in the future. We have now stopped night feeds and DD is generally sleeping though. We never had a battle and didn't need to do any controlled crying or anything. She just accepted it so it was obviously the right time. I wouldn't have tried it but for the advice here so thanks very much

Wow, that's great! Well done your dd! My dd has had a bad couple of nights. She's still in with us in her crib as dh was away for a few days. She was up 6 or 7 times the night before last proper crying (which she never does) and she had a new tooth poking through yesterday morning which explains it. She was awake 5 or 6 times last night (and slept until 10am this morning!) and she had her fingers in her ears a lot so I think her mouth is giving her bother.

Fantastic news TheChineseChicken!

I'm so glad you found the right answer for her. You are right, she was ready to night wean and so it's done her good.

Teething is so disruptive Cosy. Was she any better last night? So you use any teething remedies?

She fought sleep so hard as usual and I eventually got her down (by feeding to sleep) at 10.30pm. I think she slept ok, only waking a couple times in the dark but our room is really bright in the mornings (I love waking up to a light, warm room) so she's up 4 or 5 times between sunrise and getting up. This morning it was 6.15am! This is something I'm hoping will sort itself out when she's moved into her own room as we have blackout curtains for her room.

I'm just using Bonjela and Calpol for her teething. We have all sorts of teething rings and toys (some you can put in the fridge) but she's still not really putting things in her mouth (she's literally just started putting her sippy cup in her mouth herself and still won't put finger food in her mouth) so unless I hold them in place, she won't use them.

A blackout blind should definitely help, with nighttime and with naps. Hopefully her tooth will cut through soon and then the worst will be over... until the next tooth! DD's better sleeping definitely coincided with the end of the current bout of teething

Have you seen the blackout window covers you stick on to the frame? You could get one for your room to see if that helps before she moves

The night before last she was up 5 or 6 times again and ww both got up at 8.3am. Yesterday she didn't nap at all. I fed her, took her out the buggy, fed her some more, lay her down on the bed and tried resting my hand on her chest but all to no avail. On the plus side, she went down last night at 9.15pm and it only took me 15 minutes to get her down! She was up 4 times last night/early morning but she's currently sound asleep. Wish I was too! I don't really like blackout blinds as I love waking up in a a light, warm room (I'm not good in winter and even those clocks with lights which mimic sunrise don't help). I've got blackout curtains for her room though - mainly for when the time comes when she goes to bed when it's still light (ha ha - yeah right!). I'm so pleased your dd is sleeping well and hopefully mine's will follow suit once her teeth are through. It's her top front ones that are coming through.