To feed or not to feed....?

[Skyblue82]

Just after some advice on my 6.5 month DD's night waking. I'm really confused as to whether to be BFing her when she wakes.

We've been lucky that she's a really good sleeper. She was sleeping through 11-7 from about 8 weeks. Then once she finally decided she wanted to go to sleep & not cry all evening (!) we then had 2 glorious months of 7-7. I've never done a dream feed as the thought of waking her seemed so wrong after weeks of trying everything to make her sleep in the evening!

When she hit 4.5 months she started waking up early, somewhere between 4:30-5:30. I was automatically feeding her as she seemed hungry, rooting etc. If I left her then babbling would quickly turn into crying. She would always go back to sleep after a feed, waking up somewhere between 7-8.

Then we hit 5.5 months and the once a night wake up became more random. All kinds of times - 2, 3, 4 - a couple of 12:30s. No consistency to the timing & only ever once. I've been feeding her & again she's been going straight back to sleep. In the last week she's had a couple of 10:30pm wake ups where my DH has been able to get her back to sleep by rocking her. He's tried this in the middle of the night too but she gets upset and roots on him. She's also slept through a couple of times in the last week too.

She self soothes for all her naps & bed times. She sucks her thumb when drifting off. So no sleep associations. She's not teething yet as far as I can tell. She's on solids, 3 meals a day but just fruit & veg. She naps really well in the daytime. 90 min morning & lunchtime plus a 30 min power nap late afternoon. In bed by 7:30. She won't sleep in the pram or car for more then 35mins so sometimes had days with less daytime sleep but it makes no difference to night waking. She's just started sitting up really well but still won't roll!

As she's a good sleeper do I just go with it and keep feeding her and assume she'll just start sleeping through again when she's ready? Is she genuinely hungry? Or is this creating a habit so when she wakes in the night she knows she can get boob if she cries? We have an opportunity to try night weaning as my DH has 3 weeks off from the end of this week. I'm wondering if it's too early though...

Any advice greatly appreciated!

I always fed if she woke up in the night, I know it's hard but chances are if she settles back down she was hungry - if not then at least you know it's not food. We had a lovely phase of sleeping 10 hour stretches and then random waking again, I think it's one of those things! Whenever I think we have a routine it changes due to a cold / teething / clock changes etc. Whatever works - plus I think there's a lot of truth to if they've slept well they'll go back to sleeping well again. Good luck x

My approach is to feed. To me, you've got no real idea what a BF baby has eaten until you're well into weaning and if you're doing fruit and veg purées, they're no where near as calorific as milk so she might be hungry. It is very early to night wean - Dr Jay Gordon recommends they're at least a year.

Also baby sleep progress isn't always linear. Sometimes it's better, sometimes it's worse, but hopefully better is getting better all the time IYSWIM. My point being how she slept 2 months ago is irrelevant to how she's sleeping now. If she's trying to get to grips with sitting, rolling, etc it could just be one of those phases where her sleep is worse.

If you don't feed, what is going to be your alternative to get her to sleep?

Ah, just seen thumb sucking might be the answer to my question!

What are baby's fine motor skills like? Pincer grip for example, picking up small objects in her finger and thumb. Also manipulating objects - putting the spoon in her hand the wrong way around, moving things from one hand to another and turning them.

These are the motor skills needed to properly "find her thumb" and access that comfort even in the dead of night when only semi-awake. They'll come soon and I would imagine she'll need you less and less to access that comfort.

In the mean-time it just needs your patience. Sounds like you have healthy sleep habits established already, so it is just a case of carrying on as you are are waiting for her to develop a little more.

I'd carry on as you are, unless you especially want to night wean.

Great advice & really reassuring, thank you! I'm not desperate to night wean so I'll just continue to go with it...

FATEdestiny her fine motor skills are pretty good. She can pass from hand to hand and bang two objects together. No pincer grip yet though.

I was watching her on the monitor last night when she woke up about 4:30. Her eyes were shut and she was mumbling away for a good 10 mins before she woke properly & started crying. Her thumb wasn't anywhere near her mouth which I thought was unusual as when she naps in the day it's in and out all the time, presumably when she's going through sleep cycles. So maybe when she's in a super deep night sleep and stirs she can't use her thumb as effectively.

Thanks again!

I remember brain development being explained like strings between neurons that get stronger the more you use them. Some connections so strong that the action become a automatic, without any though needed.

Thumb sucking in the night is much like dummy sucking in that way.

At the moment he neuron connections for mysvukar movements are still weak. Baby is still learning how to coordinate movements and muscles to do things she wants. At the moment she has to think, concentrate even, to do simple tasks.

As she develops, these movements will become better, the neuron connections in her brain controlling the movements stronger and eventually the movement of thumb into mouth and suck will become so automatic it needs no thought. At that point she can do it when light sleeping, before she actually wakes up, to get back to a deep sleep.

For now, it's the fact she needs to actively think and concentrate on these fine motor skills means that she needs her brain to be more awake to be able to do it.

I'd say about 7-10 months when she gets it. Much the same as the ability to reinsert own dummy in the night.