Advice please! When to move baby?

[sparkleandsunshine]

I have a 3 month old DD (my first) and I feel like she has been a good sleeper-slept through from 4weeks 10pm-7am.

She's in a large Moses basket (family heirloom that is about 10cm longer and 5cm wider than the standard Moses basket we were given that she has now outgrown.

Now it is a lot lighter in the mornings and our curtains do not have blackout linings (her room does) and my DP occasionally snores really loud (doesn't seem to bother her in the dark but from about 5am when it's lighter she stirs every time). His snoring always wakes me up and I make him roll over to try and stop it (he's very sorry for it and even apologises though it's not his fault).

So here I am waking throughout the night with his snoring (but always getting back to sleep which I can cope with) and then DD starts fidgeting and letting out the odd cry from about 5.30, and I have to bring her into our bed and snuggle up with her to get her to drop back off. But we aren't co-sleeping as such because the health visitor and midwife put the fear of SIDS into me saying that co-sleeping can cause it and you should never do it. So she sleeps and I lay there wide awake scared that if I let my eyes close something terrible will happen.

I know it's selfish, but now my sleep is disrupted and I'm exhausted during the day, if on the weekends I have a nap because I'm so tired DP is baffled because "we slept so well". But he can sleep through anything.

Also I think the giant Moses basket is too small, my DP disagrees. That's because he only sees her in it at night when she goes in and is in a deep sleep and lays nicely in the middle. Throughout the night she's spreads out a little, both arms are pushed into the sides when she spreads out just a little and she wiggles her bottom half around just a tiny bit and her legs end up up the side of the basket!

So basically I think she should move into her own room. It has blackout curtains and her cot which is much bigger, it's just across the hall, maybe 6 metres from her bed to ours and we would have the doors open, also I have a Motorola video monitor.

We don't have space to move her cot into our room (and it wouldn't solve the light issue), we don't have money to buy a slightly larger crib for our room (and that wouldn't help with the light) BUT when I was talking to the health visitor last week I told her and she said "it's up to you but I would seriously recommend keeping her in your room until 6 months- otherwise there is an increased risk of SIDS.

I am living in fear of SIDS! Since then lots of my friends have given me differing opinions, one let her kids sleep in her bed until they were 4yo and was all for co-sleeping, others moved their kids to own rooms at 2 or 3 months and loved it.

Then my SIL told me that if we were putting her in her own room early then we MUST have this angel mat that she had that feels the babies heart beat and sets of an alarm if it stops, and it comes with a video monitor, she said "its only £145, a small price to pay for your babies life"

But I don't have £145, right now we don't have £45 spare! So I explained that we already have a monitor and none of my friends had had this angel mat and they moved their babies into own rooms, and I got a dissaproving look and told "it's your choice, but really don't you want the safest thing for your baby?"

Basically want I want to know is, when did other people move their babies to their own rooms, and any advice for me please? Ta

Ps. Sorry for long post, didn't want to drip feed.

Those special mats do not prevent SIDS! They are good for premature babies who may temporarily forget to breath, illness etc but that's it..... this was sadly confirmed to a friend by doctors last year when she lost her son to sids... unfortunately like the doctors said even if it happened in hospital there is nothing they can do to save that baby as they just can't save a baby from sids

Everything Mombie2016 said is correct sadly

But I do 100% believe that despite the guild lines etc that if it's going to happen nothing you can do to stop it, I know 2 people to lose babies due to sids in last 3 years and both children where asleep in parents room as per the guildlines, both boys one 6 weeks and and other just turned 2 years

Are you breastfeeding and a non smoker? If so the evidence against moving babies into their own room is much clearer than than the evidence against co sleeping.

I wouldn't move a baby into their own room before six months, I couldn't take the risk. In answer to your question, dc1 went into her room at 10 months and Dc2 is still in with us at 17 months.

Thanks for the responses everyone, lots to think about, might have a look at safer co-sleeping, my DP walked around upstairs this morning and said it's the same amount of steps for him to walk around the bed to her basket as it is for him to get to her bedroom door, now he's come around to the idea of her sleeping in her room and I've decided I want her to stay in with us! Though he says he'll do whatever I want.

We aren't entitled to anything other than child benefit, and that was totally fine, we didn't have a lot spare, I'm on basic maternity and DP has a Ok job, we just have a big mortgage and then had some unexpected expenditure, so we've cut back on luxuries and we are paying all our bills we just don't have anything spare at all.

Spoken to my grandma this morning and she's got some blackout material for us to pin up. ill have to wait until I get paid on 25th before we look at travel cot though, cheapest one I've seen is £18 on Asda baby event, hopefully it's still on offer then, if not I will be able to ask on fb for anyone selling a second hand one after payday. Though I'm guessing I need to buy a new mattress for it as it would be second hand if on fb.

It's all a bit of a shock really, when I went on maternity leave we had savings and I'd laid out how we would afford everything, I know we are still in a really good position compared to some people and I'm grateful for that but I've still found it a bit hard after these unexpected bills.

Oh and no one in our house is a smoker, and I'm not breastfeeding- still upset about that but that's another story!

What are the unexpected bills? You can usually negotiate a payment plan so you pay them off monthly rather than all in one go.

And it might be worth shopping around to make sure you're getting the best deal on your energy supply, mobile phone, broadband etc. You can save a surprising amount of money that way.

www.moneysavingexpert.com/family/money-help

We had to replace our boiler, and then 2 months later by DPs car died and he needed a new one, it's nothing flash but he does a 48 mile round trip to and from work every day so it needed to be reliable.

We are on payment plans for 6 months on boiler and finance a year on the car. I know we can get through if we just are strict with everything else. Things are tight, but I know we are lucky c pared to others and I know it will all change after a year and these are paid, just such an arse when you need something and can't pay for it!

Thanks NameChange, I'll have a look at the link x

But I do 100% believe that despite the guild lines etc that if it's going to happen nothing you can do to stop it

I'm sure this is well intended but it really isn't true. The safe sleeping guidelines have had an enormous effect on reducing SIDs. There absolutely are children running around today who would have died if their parents hadn't followed the guidelines.