How do I get my 10 month old to self settle?

[TotallyFkingClueless]

My DS is 10 months old and generally he sleeps well except that he wants rocking to sleep every night and at nap time. I didn't mind this as it is a chance for cuddles with him but he is getting heavy. I am still breast feeding and he no longer falls asleep while feeding so I end up rocking him. At 10 months he is quite a little chunk weighing 23lb and he is getting to heavy to rock to sleep. I want to try and get him to settle himself in his cot at night. I've tried putting him in his cot and staying with him, but he really doesn't like it and it feels to me like I'm just letting him cry while I watch. He will eventually go to sleep but after 3 nights he is still falling to sleep while sobbing. He has a good bedtime routine, bath, story, feed and the bed. Any advice for getting him to settle in his cot without emotionally scarring him? Thanks.

I'm there at the moment with 10 month old DS2. We've gone really slowly having tried CC and it literally just escalating over the course of 4 nights and leading to more wake ups. In the course of the last 2 weeks I've gone from rocking DS2 to sleep, to doing pick up/put down (but allowing him to fall asleep in my arms before putting him down), to most recently rubbing his back until he goes over. His cot is still in our room so if (when) he wakes up I do exactly the same thing, just rub his back until he goes back to sleep. Not sure what our next stage will be!! I'm thinking just sitting next to the cot, or maybe just a hand on him rather than rubbing? But basically we've learnt he's not a CC kind of baby so it's going to be a slow, baby led process. So different from DS1 who responded to CC and slept through after 3 nights at 7 months. But there you are! They're all different!!

Pick up, cuddle till not crying, put down and repeat. It might take 40 times that first night but baby will fall asleep when tired enough. It takes less time every night after.

Thank you. I will try pick up put down and see how he goes. He will get it eventually but I discovered this evening that my husband has been giving in and rocking him to sleep when it is his turn to put him to bed. I suspect the lack of continuity is causing problems