1 year old sleep misery, with weaning

[Loraline]

DS2 just turned 1, so, as with his brother when he turned 1, I decided to stop breastfeeding. Up until now he was bf to sleep. Sometimes he'd wake around 11 or 12 but DH would just cuddle and put him down again. Then he would wake around 1 or 2 and I'd feed an put him back down until around 5, then another quick feed and back down until 6/6.30.

Lately, the 1/2 feed became a nightmare because he'd stay awake for 2 hours afterwards. I remember DS1 going through this phase but I'd leave him in his bed and he'd chatter away while I'd doze on the single bed in his room. However, DS2 shares a room with DS1 so we can't leave him there, or leave him to make noise in his bed because it wakes DS1. This is part of why we're in such bad habits with him.

So, I've decided to stop feeding and we're trying to get him to go to sleep in his bed, which he does for his naps (cuddle to get sleepy then put him down with his soother and bunny). For the three nights over the BH weekend DH did his bath and bed etc. and put him down. He also did all night wakings. He was waking up much more frequently for the first 2 nights but that's settled back down again.

DH is wrecked and back to work today. The idea was that last night we'd go back to usual shifts - DH up until 1am and me until morning. However, if I go anywhere near DS2 when he wakes up he screams bloody murder because he wants me to feed him. Last night DH ended up doing the whole night then having to work today. Also DS1 was awake for hours in the night I start a new job in a few weeks (off at the moment).

Anyone got any magic suggestions? Can't really do cc even if I was on board with it because of the room sharing. Our room is right next door so even with DS1 in our bed, he is kept awake.

So annoyed with myself for getting into such bad habits!

I think to be fair in both boys, they need to be seperate while you deal with this change. Not perminantly, just until DC2 is properly weaned and sleeping better.

So i would either make DC1 a bed up in your bedroom and let him sleep with you. Or bring DC2 back into your room with his cot and keep him in with you until night weaned and sleeping through.

Thanks for replying FATEdestiny

I think DH and I came to the same conclusion. As the bedrooms are next to each other if DS2 is wailing it still disturbs DS1 in our room, but we might set up the travel cot in our living room (and sleep on the sofa bed) so we can tackle it and the noise is kept as far as possible away from anyone sleeping.

Agreed with FATE re keeping the boys separate.

Personally if it were me in your circumstances, I would advocate getting DH to stick out the night time settling for another week to see if that weans DS2. Going back in after 3 nights may have been a bit soon for DS to wean off his habit of seeking night time feeds. This is obviously not a magic suggestion and will take a real toll on your DH (without guaranteed results), so the question is how much do you want to wean off the night feeds...

Good luck!

Following because my DH and I are going to be trying this soon! Please come back and let us know how you are getting on.

Hi I've very recently weaned my little girl off night time feeds (11 months), this is how I did it. Last feed before bed was 30mins before so the feed sleep association was broken.

My daughter was feeding st 11pm and 4am and waking at 7am, so not too different to your son. I weaned her off one feed at a time, this helps as they can increase their calories intake in the day to compensate so don't get hungry, this method for me was completely tear free. I timed the feed I wanted her to drop for 2 days so I had a starting point, then every other day I'd drop a minute off the feed time, once I was down to 1-2 minutes she stopped waking for the feed. I left it a week between feeds before I started weaning her off the next (I dropped the 4am first) to let her get use to the change. She has been sleeping through until 6.30am which has been amazing.

As you've already stopped the feed to sleep association you could bring back one night feed (I used to give the 11pm feed as a sleep feed so that could be an option instead of dealing with the 2hour awake time at 1am) for a week or so, and then slowly drop the feed hopefully without too many tears. It may also be worth reintroducing the 5 am feed and dropping this one last, as he could decide that the day starts at 5.

Good luck! Sounds like you are making progress even if it doesn't feel like it.

Well the night that I posted this DH had to get some rest so I went in to ds wgeb her woke at 1.30. I popped his soother back in, didn't pick him up but just put my hand lightly on his back and he drifted off to sleep until 5. He's sone similar every night since. Even slept from 7.30 through to 5 one night!

Only downside is that he's up beyween 5 and 5.30 every morning but I can handlw that if I've had a good night's sleep.

So, it's gone well! Last night he was up more but his teeth were bothering him yesterday.