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Original poster

Help! Zero sleep with newborn

17 replies

rachelrcrossley · 02/05/2017 03:22

Hoping someone can help or at least offer some reassurance that this might get better soon!
My second child, a little girl, is 3 days old. During the day she is a chilled baby, and sleeps in her carrycot no problem. At night, she wants to bf up to every 30 mins and in between I cannot settle her in her bedside crib. This is my third night without any sleep at all. Just don't know how I can survive this longer term! Any tips?

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MiniMaxi · 02/05/2017 03:41

Congratulations!

Short answer is: it will get better! She has to learn day from night for one thing, which takes a few weeks.

Can you nap in the day when she sleeps?

HumpHumpWhale · 02/05/2017 03:44

Learn to breastfeed lying down and co-sleep; or if bottle-feeding, take shifts with her father.
But it will get better. I think that really really intense feeding-literally-all-night bit only lasted 3 or 4 nights with my second. It was a bit longer with my first. I started getting a 3 hour chunk pretty early with both. It doesn't sound like much but it's a lot when you've only been getting 30 minutes!

Original poster
rachelrcrossley · 02/05/2017 03:56

Thank you for replying, good to hear I'm not alone. I can nap in the day at the moment as have mum and husband around, but scared about when they return to work, and will have to deal with newborn and toddler on my own with zero sleep! Hopefully this really intense period will be short lived?! My son fed loads but would sleep in between in his bedside crib, unlike dd.
We coslept with ds off and on once he was a bit older. Nervous of cosleeping with this one as she was only 5lb 12oz at birth x

OP posts:
troodiedoo · 02/05/2017 03:56

That's entirely normal. But hard going I know. Keep going. It does get easier, but it's not linear. You'll have days you think you've cracked it then bad days when you want to scream. I'm sat here feeding my 4 week old who has been fussing and fidgeting since half one. Prior to this she was very settled at nights. She must be growing I guess.

Take all help offered to you! And rest whenever you can. Don't be afraid to tell visitors to go away if you get a precious nap window.

Sparrowlegs248 · 02/05/2017 04:01

My son was like this. He's 11 weeks old and getting better. He has reflux too which means I spent several nights holding him upright all night. No sleep for me with worries that I'd fall asleep and he'd fall off.

One thing I saw that I would have got, but he was too bug for, was a too with s kangaroo pouch for the babu. So you can sit up on the sofa, or in bed, and it holds the baby close to you. Google kangaroo care top.

harleysmammy · 02/05/2017 05:37

My son is 5 days old today and I'm currently sitting in bed with him on my chest doing everything I can not to fall asleep. If I put him in his cot, he cries but he can be in his Moses basket all day and it wouldn't phase him. He'll suck his hands and make me think he wants feeding, put the bottle to his mouth and he doesn't take it..the second I hold him or put him on my chest, he's out for the count! I don't have any advice because I'm a ftm and would love to know the answer myself but I just thought I'd let you know you're not alone x

knaffedoff · 02/05/2017 05:51

Completely normal and if you are breastfeeding, she is likely to get your milk to come in by the frequent feeding particularly at night. Two tips I would give, if she is sleeping for long periods in the day (4+hourly) try waking her more frequently because she will need to catch up on her feeds overnight if she is sleeping through feeds in the day. Also try and nap when she naps, at the moment you have the support so use it, she will be feeding differently with a little more practice in a couple of weeks!!!!!

Sparrowlegs248 · 02/05/2017 06:27

harleysmammy I have been spending the last part of the night on the sofa. I can sit in the corner of it, with the baby on my should sort of leaning into the back. It makes it much less likely for him to fall off. Not recommended for safety reasons of course, but I had to get some sleep. I also have a 21 month old, so no chance of sleeping in the day for men.

MiniMaxi · 02/05/2017 10:23

Didn't realise you also had a toddler - appreciate that makes things much more difficult!

You could try a cocoonababy or sleepyhead in your bed?

Sunshinegirl82 · 02/05/2017 20:37

Sleepyhead in bed is the only way I could co-sleep, might be worth a try?

teaandbiscuitsforme · 02/05/2017 20:51

Op Does your toddler still have a nap? If so, can you put your older one down for a nap and then take the baby to feed lying down in your bed? Then at least you can have a rest. I manage this most days with a 2 year old and 16 week DS and it's made such a difference, even if I just lie and read a book.

CatsCantFlyFast · 02/05/2017 21:09

My youngest has coslept since we brought her home from nicu (born at 34 weeks and home at 35). Similar weight. Look at all the safe cosleeping guidelines and follow them carefully and you'll both hopefully get a lot more rest.

Regards toddler and newborn and no sleep - you just kind of manage. On bad days I bring them both to bed after lunch - of toddler can't sleep she gets the iPad and I doze while the baby naps.

It will get better

Frazzled2207 · 02/05/2017 21:34

Both of mine were like this. It does get better, in the meantime kick out dh and breastfeed lying down with baby facing you. Make sure there's some kind of guard on the bed failing so she can't fall out. Once baby settled roll away from her and sleep down the other side. Put blanket on baby.
Wrap quilt around you tightly so no chance of it getting anywhere near baby.
Hopefully sleep a couple of hours before she next wakes.
Congratulations Flowers

Original poster
rachelrcrossley · 02/05/2017 23:50

Thanks for all the responses. Main thing is it's good to hear I'm not alone! Very grateful for the support I have at home. Will have a think about how we would need to rejig things for co-sleeping. In the mean time I'm changing my psychology - viewing night time as an 11pm-6am 'night shift' and making an effort to consciously enjoy these cuddles with the daughter I have been dreaming of for 9+ months Smile

OP posts:
TinyTickler · 05/05/2017 09:22

My baby was the same and whilst my husband was off we just agreed on a time he would wake up and take over (5am). Made it easier knowing I just had to get to then before I could sleep for a few hours.

And congratulations!

gojettersgo · 05/05/2017 21:54

I was in a similar situation. In the end we ended up giving DS2 a 11pm bottle so I could get a 4 hour stretch. I regretted it later but I did BF for a year. He slept through at 2 1/2 years.

MoodyOne · 06/05/2017 20:11

Congratulations!
Everything is just a phase ! The first two nights my DS wouldn't sleep anywhere other then me. The next two - three weeks he woke every 45 mins. Look into 'safe co-sleeping' honestly it's amazing... or ask your MW... mine took me upstairs and positioned me right and the let me sleep with my DS, it was the best sleep I had !
I think it gets a lot better at 4-6 weeks ... then even better then that at 8 weeks ... then DS has got worse at 16 weeks but that's a whole different story 😂

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