DD9 not sleeping in her room... Ever!

[MrsWhirly]

My DD9 started having trouble sleeping alone at about 4yrs when my idiot DH let her watch a cartoon she found scary. She's now 9 1/2 and will not sleep in her bed. She said she's scared of the dark, nightmares and often is hysterical. She will get up 10, 20, 30 times and be exhausted in the mornings.

We have tried everything, I mean everything. Even giving in and letting her sleep with me whilst DH sleeps on the sofa! She is currently in her room crying so I am sitting in my bed waiting for her to sleep which she won't. Me and DH both work full time so never, ever spend any time - not even 5 minutes without her. I just don't know what to do ??

I wouldn't ever start trying to make her go to sleep in her own room. She just associates her room with being scared. Start her in yours when she goes to bed.

imip Thank you. She won't even go upstairs to the toilet on her own so I doubt she will go upstairs to my bed or any bed & stay there on her own. Even this morning I wanted to go downstairs to make my lunch while she got dressed but she wouldn't and ended up bringing her clothes downstairs to get dressed in the lounge.

LooksBetterWithAFilter Thank you. I agree and to be honest I've lost the will to live it today. I've had no sleep again and now a day of meetings and presentations where I have to try and make my brain work!

Yeah, take the pressure and heat off.

Fwiw, we had intervention and help from CAHMS. It didn't work. Although they were really helpful, dd just wouldn't comply😳. They said it's normal, as children that age often see it as another thing to deal with rather than perceiving it as helpful.

Your husband is sulking over this issue?

Does he often react in this kind of way? Because things like that will not help any anxiety she has.

I think it's time for some serious psychological help. This sounds like it's taking over all of your lives and can't be healthy for the family. She is 9 so should be way past this. Medical intervention sounds necessary.

Also we had to sit with her till she went to sleep. Dh would go up about 9 to 9.15. I'd go up about ten to ten and settle for the night.

Also, we only realised dd had anxiety when she was 9. Looking back now with that knowledge we can see, that what appeared to be a difficult, awkward child was actually an anxious child. She was dreadful at any sort of change, and had tantrums from hell.

I don't think 9 is way past this at all. I actually think that's when it starts. They are more aware of things at that age

She's a happy confident and mature child. My husband on the other hand can be very immature and I agree that his tantrums over her sleeping doesn't help. He does heavy physical work, so can't be easy but it ultimately ends with me& him rowing.

I'm definitely going to buy a campbed this weekend.

I feel so sorry for her, she must be knackered today.

Please do OP! It will change your life dramatically x

Definitely find a way to have her in with you. Good sleep for you all will make everything seem a whole lot better.