Tips for getting rid of babies dummy

[robyneHet]

Hi...hoping for some suggestions (or a miracle answer 😂)
DS is EBF 6months old and a terrible sleeper- always has been. However I've recently made good progress and managed to stop feeding to sleep. It has helped lots and I now dream feed at 10pm and once in the night (around 3ish). He is in a good routine, goes to bed at 7am and up for the day about 6am.
However!....I've stopped feeding to sleep and replaced this with a dummy, to point where he is now completely dependent on it and needs me to put it back in all the time! Initially this was a few times during the night which tbh I wasn't fussed about...but it's gradually got worse and the last 3 nights we are back to waking hourly again...all night long 😭
So dummy I guess needs to go 🙁
How do I do this without loads of screaming?! Is it ok to let him have dummy for naps and for initially going to bed but then 'refuse' to give it back to him..or is this too confusing and a bit cruel??
I need to do something...it's probably the sleep deprivation but I'm starting to loose the love for him 😞 It's DDs 3rd birthday today and DH and I can't even face the day never mind get excited for her and enjoy her little tea party we are having later (why the hell did I think that was a good idea 😣😴😆) x

And yes...he could be moving back to snuzpod tonight whilst I tackle this unswaddle game 🙈
Hi Lapin- he's EBF and we've just started solids ....so today he has had some mushed banana and a tiny bit of baby porridge mixed with formula, plus chewed a bit of toast! I'm pretty sure it's a sleep training issue rather than hunger but could be wrong.
So today (after a very unsettled night) he was up properly for the day at 6:00 His first nap was 07:30 he only had 30mins 🙁 I work on his awake window being 2 hours (give or take dependent on how long and restorative the previous nap was??) x

Ok...we all typing at same time!
Thanks for the advise Fate...I guess he can't be swaddled forever so I might as well tackle it 🙈 He hasn't rolled yet but is nearly there so I knew it was coming. He's in sleepyhead so I felt he was safe...but then he's going to outgrow that too isn't he 😂

Ok so he's been awake since 9. He's probably overtired. Have you given up on the nap for now or are you still trying?

Yea..awake since 9 so I put him down nearly 11 I think it was?!! He's finally gone....there's been a lot of crying here tho 😭 I'm pleased I've been trying to you all to distract myself. I've basically just gone in and out of nursery every 2-4mins and replaced dummy and have him a kiss then walked out 😕 Hope he doesn't wake in 30mins (which I suspect) because I won't be able to do that again x

Awake since 8 even. He'll be knackered

Glad he's asleep for now, have a cup of tea!!!

Yes actually is was about 8 🙈 I'm demented! Christ I've earnt a biscuit as well after all that 🤣

Hope the rest of your afternoon was better.

I've basically just gone in and out of nursery every 2-4mins and replaced dummy and have him a kiss then walked out

What would happen if you stayed in there?

You could try bending over the cot, firm hand on his chest/back/shoulder (wherever works) so he can feel your reassuring presence. Keep putting dummy back if needed and just wait like that until asleep.

Getting to sleep needn't take an hour

Hi! I'm Still a bit traumatised by lunch time nap I think! He seems to have forgiven me and is his usual smiley self....He's only had 15mins in the car this afternoon tho so thats not helpful 🙄 To say I am dreading bedtime is an understatement.
Thanks for the advise...that's what I'm going to do I think? Put him in sleeping bag, in sleepyhead with dummy and I'm going to sit next to him with my hand on him until he falls asleep...the other hand will be holding a large of wine 😆
I sometimes feel me being there makes him protest more...but we will see how tonight goes..wish me luck x

Great plan. Good luck!

Well just in case anyone is following...my baby clearly likes to defy expectations!...put him to bed at 6...expecting lengthy settling time aiming for sleep around 6:30...asleep in 5mins! Minimal crying and no arms flying everywhere knocking dummy out like at lunch time 😀
How strange?!.....I'm thinking it's not that easy tho so going to have to be strong in an hour when he wakes...have a feeling it will be a challenge to settle him again...and again...again....is it morning yet lol!! X

How's it going Robyn?

Morning! We've survived! So all in all not too bad??
6pm bed
Woke 9:30-dummy (quick settle)
Woke 10:30- fed
Woke 01:30-dummy
Woke 02:30-fed
Woke 3:00- wouldn't settle for an hour 😳 quite a lot of crying despite pick up, cuddle, dummy etc 😭
4:15- fed and slept until 6:30 😀

Sort of regretting the feed at 4am because I know he didn't need it and I've worked hard to wean to 2 night feeds but hey ho...an hour of crying was enough for me and it did settle him for a long period again? He's refused boob this morning again tho little monkey so he will have to wait until after nursery run now x

So tonight...same again...give him a few nights unswaddled and then decide on what to do about 'dummy runs'?! If he goes back to only needing a couple a night I can cope and feel the benefits out weigh the negatives...guess we just see what happens today with naps 😱

That's quite a lot of feeding in the night. Is he having protein in the day?

It is isn't it 😕 and he doesn't need it...it's comfort I'm 99% sure....but I've gone from feeding to sleep and therefore feeding 2hourly all night (ridiculous, don't know why I let that happen for so long either 🙈) to feeding twice in the night (10pm + 3ish). I fed him again at 4am out of desperation go settle him but he's refused boob this morn and I'm currently trying to give him some mushed banana which he's not fussed about either, presumably because he's filled up overnight 🙄

No protein yet... just started with fruit/veg purée last week.. and he's not that keen I have to say 😒 he's 6months end of this week so guess I can just crack on now x

Don't feel bad, you're doing absolutely great overall.
Fruit & veg is fine for now as you've just started weaning. Make them higher-cal options like banana, avocado, sweet potato when you can. You can also try porridge made with formula or breast milk.
In a couple of weeks you can try scrambled egg which generally goes down well and has decent nutritional value.
Stay well away from baby rice which is just starch with nothing of any value in it, and very low cal purees such as carrot which fill up the tummy but not for long.

He will prob keep the 10pm feed for a while, until solids are really well established, but the 3am feed will get later and later until it's gone. Try and keep it as small as possible so it doesn't knock on to brekkie.

Delighted the swaddle is gone for good! Yoohoooo!

Hmmmm what's the rush? If they're helping why take them away from what are still very young babies? I have the benefit of hindsight here as I had 3 babies who used dummies, the oldest is now 13 and the youngest 7. I was very anti dummies initially but 2 of them were a nightmare to get to sleep without them and they saved my sanity, especially for the one that had bad reflux, gave a lot of relief for him. One had one but wasn't as fussed about them. He just stopped using it himself at about 16/17 months (when stopped bf and went to a cup). The others only had them for 5 mins or so at bedtime to fall asleep to after about 1, didn't have them out and about etc after that. One had to be persuaded to finally give it up on his 4th birthday with a visit from the dummy fairy with a new toy. No drama, stopped that night. The other did the same on his third birthday. They were literally using them for a couple of minutes a day by then. None have now or ever had problems with their teeth or speech.

Thanks Lapin I have to say I feel like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders getting him out of that woombie swaddle...it was obviously bothering me more than I thought! He's gone down for a nap no probs and gone over the 40min mark 🎉
....thanks for tips on weaning. I was going to try baby rice as a way of getting some formula into him (he refuses bottle full stop 🙄) so I'll stay away from that then! And I have been giving him lots of carrot and apple purée so I can change that to sweet potato etc..thanks x
It's so hard with the breast feeding isn't it to know what to do in the night. I'll defo keep going with 10pm feed for a while...either he wakes for it anyway or if not I lift him and dream feed when I go to bed. I'm sure he could manage to drop that 3am feed now and then he would feed well at 6am...he obviously feels different tho lol!
GavelRavel- Hi! Thanks for sharing your experiences...good to hear. I have no probs at all with dummy...in fact want to keep it!!....just not if it means hourly trips to put it back in all night Just wish he would settle without it between sleep cycles.....he did do some longer stints last nights so hopefully things will just continue to improve 🤞🏻

have you tried a different brand/shape of dummy?

That does sound tedious having to keep going in and that never hapenned with mine - hopefully getting more food in during the day will help him settle more at night - good luck!

Yea I hope so too! Although he's not very keen on his food at the minute 🙄 You make a good point tho...maybe I should try the 6month + size now. X