Newborn bedtime routine - am I doing it all wrong?

[user1488794856]

So after visiting a friend today and sharing our nighttime routine for our 8 week old I feel as though we are getting it all wrong.

A bit of background, my partner and I are first time parents with little support or guidance , scrap that, NO support or guidance from family. We are in every sense of the word "winging it" 

So...current routine pretty much since 2 weeks old, we bath, massage, swaddle and feed lo who typically falls asleep in our arms and is transferred to cosleeper, this usually happens between 6-7pm, where she wakes 2-3 times a night, and sleeps until between 6am and 8am. She grunts all night long, but that's a whole other issue 

The problem...once she is asleep dh and I have also been going to sleep, we don't want to leave her alone, but somewhere over the last few weeks we have progressed from watching tv and chatting until tired, to having the room in complete darkness (lo likes and needs this), whispering, and not daring watch tv, read a book with a light on, pretty much anything other than sleep aswell.

Whilst this means we get plenty of sleep and didn't think this was too bad, after chatting to friends and hearing it out loud it started to sound a bit mental...we are sometimes in bed for 14 hours from start to finish!

Is this crazy? Where are we going wrong? What is a more normal routine? I don't like the idea of leaving lo alone but would other people pop downstairs for an hour or so? Or do people tend not to do this until lo is 6 months old.

I know that it wasn't meant in a bad way, we were all having a good laugh at how life has changed, but it's just got me thinking!

Very confused ftm! 

Sent from my iPhone using Netmums mobile appp*

Whatever works for you at the moment. I used to take DS to bed at 8, give him his last bottle and while he went to sleep in a Moses basket, I would read. I never co slept (it wasn't the done thing nine years ago). I got a fairly good rest and he settled well. There's a lot to be said for you getting sleep for the first few months!

I'm a FTM too with a 12 week old. At the start I was so stressed about getting LO into a routine but then I just decided to go with the flow.

She falls asleep anywhere (yesterday, I let her play in her play gym whilst I went to the kitchen to do a few bits (monitor on obviously!) and came back, with her fallen asleep!) because I've gone with her flow.

She's let herself get into a routine of falling asleep between 8pm - 9pm and then waking between 6am - 8am, with a couple of feeds in the night.

We don't have a strict routine but as long as her belly is full.. she falls asleep wherever she is whatever the conditions are!

Stop worrying, and just go with your baby's flow! :) you've got it all sorted. All babies are different.

P.S mine also grunts too! Lol