could i please have any experiences of co-sleeping at 9mths plus and consequences?

[frumpyfred]

I cant seem to make my own mind up here , ds is 9mths and I have co-slept with him on and off , at 7mths he slept through alone in his own room after me introducing a strict routine , at 8mths teething upset all this , I cannot leave him to cry , the only solution some nights is for us to cuddle up on the futon in his room from the early days , a part of me feels i am doing what feels natural , but there is a nagging in the back of my mind that I am going to produce a needy child who can never sleep in his own bed or room .
I know i will be able to eventualy make my own mind up ( well , have no other solution now other than let him cry)but i would be very interested to hear other experiences - looking forward to replies, thanks

We co slept with both of mine ours when they were very tiny, but we always did daytime sleeps in a moses basket. We always tried to start the night in the moses basket too, then breought them into bed when they woke up for a feed. Then, when they got older, they moved onto futons in their own rooms to start the night, and they came into our bed when they wolku up in the night. Gradually the trips into our bed became less frequent until they were sleeping through in their own rooms. I do think they need to get the idea that they can sleep in their own beds is a good one - but knowing that they can come into us when they want/need to. We were lucky that both of ours were quiet unwriggly sleepers! In my opinion, co-sleeping is more likely to produce a secure, rested child than a needy one! And, as I always say, anything that gets parents more sleep has to be a ggod thing!

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I coslept with my DD until she was 18 months, when she went straight into a full size single bed with no problems. Nine times out of ten, from then on, she stayed put for the whole night.

DS, on the other hand, was in a cot from birth, and we couldn't get him out of the thing - he was still in it at nearly four

thanks , i find these replies very reassuring, not too bothered about my own space, as that should b in bed with dp i suppose , and he snores so not that inviting! ds does also start in his cot , and only comes in if unsettled or very early morning , will carry on and ignore those 'friends' who kind of wince when i mention it

I co slept with my second until just over a year and I loved it, as did he. I felt it was our special time together as his elder brother demanded so much in the day. I felt guilty as we are all told not to do it, but I absolutely needed the sleep, and a very wise and kind friend said 'you'll break it in a week when you want to' and she was right.

Have co-slept with all three of mine. dd1 graduated to her own bed at about 2, ds(18mo) mainly sleeps in his cot but dd2 stays with us every night. Sometimes she goes to bed in her own bed, then wakes up and comes in with us, sometimes, she starts off in our bed.

I have every confidence that she will be off into her own bed when she feels ready and I have every confidence that it won't be too much longer.

She is quite a restless sleeper and often needs a bit of a cuddle in the middle of the night. This will change.

We co-slept until ds was 3 when we moved with very little bother to his own bed. He still occasionally asks if he can come in our bed but we explain that we all sleep better in our own space now (tbh if he was upset about it I would still have him in with us, I don't see the problem).

Ds is not a needy child IMO - well no more than any other child. I think he is a happy child who has had a lot of his needs met.

Hi, I always felt very pressured by family and friends that because DS1 often co-slept that we were in some way failing or spoiling him but eventually we (DH and me) developed enough confidence in ourselves to raise our childeren in the way that we thought was best. Our DS1 has his own bed which he loves and DS2 has his cot which they tend to start the night off in but when they wake they all pile in with me and DH.

I don't believe you'll produce a needy child but a child that feels loved and safe in a wonderful secure family environment. Our babies are so young and we have taken our lead from them and as they have grown they have wanted more space and enjoy their room.

Believe in yourself, I feel there is too much pressure on our babies to grow up too quickly. What other mammal gives birth and then expects their offspring to sleep by themselves or in a seperate nest?? sorry you know what I mean!!

I have co-slept with all 4 of mine and IME a child who is given a secure co-sleeping start takes more enthusiastically to independence when the time is right. It is natural and in many cultures it is unheard of not to co-sleep with a little one.