I think I need help with this one now please

[inanidealworld]

Might be long so please bear with me.
My baby is 9 months old. He had never slept through the night and shows no signs of ever doing it. He wakes on average 3 to 4 times a night every night. I wouldn?t mind too much but I am back at work full time and it really is starting to take a toll because I?m too tired by 9pm to do anything and I struggle during the day. When he was younger I would bf him to sleep and he would go off in about 5-10 mins so I didn?t worry too much about how many times he was waking up. Now sometimes he is awake for up to 1 ½ hours and I often have to use a combination of breast and bottle feeding to lull him off. Also he:
Won?t take to a dummy
Has a really good appetite during the day (so I don?t think he?s really hungry)
Is teething
Will fall asleep in my arms and as soon as I put him down in his cot he starts and wakes up crying. It sometimes takes 4/5 attempts to put him down. I have tried to put him down drowsy but he just gets all frustrated, cries and sits himself up.
I am not too keen to try CC as a) might wake his brother up and b) did it with DS1 and found it v. stressful all round. However, I am coming around to the idea I might have to.
Anyway, I would love to hear from anyone who has been in this situation and come out the other end alive. Pleeeeeeease give me any tips you have. All advice will be gratefully received.
Oh and thanks for reading this far.

Oh pleeeeeease someone.

Thanks ITH. I do have the BW book and chucked it to the back of the cupboard along with SWMNBN. I will get it out again and look up PUPD. Has it worked for you and did it take long?

Maybe I should choose a date to start e.g when I have a week off work or something so that if the going gets tough I can catch up on sleep. He does have 2/3 naps during the day but only short ones (about 30-40mins) and will only go in the buggy unless I have been there to feed him to sleep and I might get him to go down (asleep) in the cot.

Oh thanks for bumping ITH. You have been helpful. I don't think there is a quick answer.
Last night when he woke for the second time I tried to put him back in the cot awake (but drowsy) to try to get him to learn to settle in it without the boob or bottle. Must have put him down 10 times. He wasn't screaming or anything but just more interested in being cuddled, blowing raspberries,(because he has just learnt to) pulling himself up to standing and laughing and lunging for the cat's tail. Anyway I have decided to keep trying but with a time limit of 1 1/2 hours after which I'll get the bottle. I mean I need some sleep to be able to go to work in the morning.

oh wow i completely know what you are going through my ds is 9 months and the same. The hv put it down to teething but tbh hes never slept through the night. Ive just read a few threads about mums going through the same thing and i posted one recently called 'help with 9 month ds'...anyway not a lot of people have much advice about this which is a shame, i have none to give u either -sorry..but you're not alone...im hoping when the teething settles down he'll start liking his cot..i end up having him in the bed with me..bad habit i know!

Go to www.babywhisperer.com - special sleep forums there and moderators to guide you through pick up/put down etc. Brilliant for sleep problems - saved my sanity! Loads of Mums too, who have been through same thing and will help you out....

Good luck

have resurrected this as I was wondering whether the grobag might be the problem. It was great for DS1 and at the beginning in that I knew he wouldn't kick off covers and get cold but now I think it may be preventing him from getting himself back to sleep when he wakes in the night. He can pull himself up to standing and hangs on to the cot bars but once he's done that I think he gets a bit stuck with the bag and can't sit/lie back down again and get back to sleep. Am I making sense? Has anyone else had this and what could I use instead? (I know duvets are not recommended at this age)

No? oh well not such a brainwave then. I have read the babywhisperer book. Shall check the website.

Are you feeding him to sleep at bedtime?
Is he still having a big bottle before bedtime?

My 9 month old has just started sleeping from 7pm - 12 then from 12 - 7am. I'm certain that it was because he was hungry even though he was packing away lots of food and milk during the day.

That said, I'd say that waking as many times as you are facing is down to the fact that he doesn't want to be in his bed so every time he wakes even slightly he needs attention.

Having asked lots and lots of people the same questions myself I concluded that I was feeding him to sleep most nights and that this was the route of the problem. He now settles in his cot at bedtime and falls asleep after his bath and bottle...wave music and a little taggie thing that he fiddles with. Now at night after being fed, even if he seems wide awake, we put him back in his cot and he drops off. In other words he seems to be ok about being in his cot.

Not sure if this helps.

Thanks Robin,
he does have a big bottle before bed and he is a very good eater so I don't think its hunger. The other thing is he's teething so I think he's in pain. But I do give him calpol before bed and I would have thought that would help him for a good few hours. But no. I think I know what you mean about attention. How did you get to stop feeding him during the night? Nothing i've tried seems to work.

I need to get off MN now but will be back in the morning. Thanks for your reply.

For us it was simply that he was hungry...we started to give him Aptimel 2 for his night time bottle and for his top up bottle at midnight rather than the usual formula. He still gets regular formula during the day. This resolved it which proved that he was hungry.

For you though I don't think it can just be hunger like you say. If you baby is settling himself in his cot at night i.e. falling asleep in his cot at bedtime then I'm not sure what to suggest BUT if you put him in his cot asleep then this may be the route of the problem.

Other thing I find is that the 2.5 tog sleeping bags aren't thick enough even if the temperature is 19 degrees....DS2 still needs a couple of layers of cotton blankets over him as well.

Finally, how long does he sleep during the day? DS2 now has a short nap in the morning and 1.5 hours - 2 hours at lunchtime. No nap in the afternoon.

It's really hard....I know! Hope this helps in some way.

Hi! Well last night was a marathon. He had his bedtime milk and where he would normally fall asleep straight after he was still awake but drowsy. Put him in the cot. He sat up and pulled himself to standing. I was determined to try and get him to settle himself to sleep. I lay him down again. He got up again. This went on for 2 hours!! Eventually he was so cross and knackered that he did fall asleep. But he woke again 2 hours later and I must confess I was not up for another 2 hours so bfed him back to sleep. I need to crack this for the sake of sanity! lol.