6m old waking 45 mins after bedtime

[Bhar78]

Was wondering if anyone else's baby does this. I put my DD to bed some time between 7-8pm depending on what time her last nap was and how tired she is. We have a bedtime routine and I feed or rock her to sleep. However she always wakes around 45 mins later, needs resettling and then sleeps in three hour cycles, feeding 2-3 times a night. I don't have an issue with the night feeding as she is still very young (6 months) but I have a few evenings out coming up and am hoping to leave her with her dad or a babysitter. Ideally I could put her to bed and she would sleep for a few hours while I am out. She doesn't settle that easily for anyone other than me. Does anyone have any ideas why she might be waking at this time (it's not hunger) and she easily goes three hours later in the night. Should I be putting her down awake and teaching her to self soothe? I feel she is too young for sleep training still. Any advice?

Moving on....what are the general principles of the No Cry Sleep Solution? Or is that another thread to long to discuss here?!
Just interested as I love the idea of baby learning to sleep with no crying but can't imagine how that is possible? My baby cries (varies on degree off) sometimes even if I'm trying to feed, rock, cuddle to sleep etc x

Oh gosh, I'm sure I'll summarise it very badly but basically:

Ask yourself what goals you have and whether they're realistic for this age. So sleeping through entirely is not realistic. But is it affecting your mental health or quality of life? Is it not?

Basically if it's not really a problem, don't make it one. So it's a problem if baby is waking 6-8 times a night. But it's not a problem if baby is waking 2 times a night. However if baby is waking and staying awake for hours then it's a problem. I find that helpful cos we get so sucked into the idea that our babies have to be little self settling soldiers who sleep 8 hrs.

She also says that if you're in 6-8 times waking hell, then rock, cuddle, feed whatever. She points out you can't do sleep training when you're barely able to function. So do whatever it takes for a week.

She says keep a detailed log every 10 days.

Put them into a solid nap routine during the day (I've this week started a 9/12/3 nap routine for one hour apiece and it's definitely helping as she goes to sleep in an instant at 7 now)

Whatever it takes to get baby to sleep quickly, start gradually shortening it. This will take weeks rather than days. And if needs dummy to sleep, then pop dummy out when baby is half-asleep and immediately push chin up with your finger so their mouth closes. If it doesn't work and they squirm, pop dummy back in and repeat 60 seconds later. It may take 3/4 times but the crucial thing is they fall properly asleep without anything in their mouth (I had excellent success with that one last night) Obviously works identically with boob. The secret is the chin thing.

So you progress from rocking, to holding baby in the bed in rocking pose (killer on your back) along all these Phases till basically they don't need a touch at all. But you do it over several weeks so they don't even notice.

It's a slow process but less traumatic for all concerned I think. I'm going to try to follow it anyway. Last night I cuddled and put her down with her eyes closed and deep breathing but she wasn't totally conked out and I got the dummy out and she stirred a bit but that's all. And I repeated that at each wake up (only 2!) And I felt she got into that deep sleep properly but wasn't in a coma before putting her down and it was a happy medium. So will work on shorter cuddles over the next month when she moves into her own room.

She also points out that there are different types of crying at night. You have to recognise them and sort out the distress one from the "just making noise" one.

She would say to ignore anything that isn't distress, or at least just accept if you have a rowdy baby and don't let it agitate you or make you rush over in a panic.

Oh and she also says buy great nappies and for the love of god don't change them unless it's a poonami. She points out that once they're sleeping through you're not going to be changing them during the night so get used to it.

AnnaRose thanks for your post that's so informative...sorry I'm late replying...1st chance I've had to log back on!
Love that concept of the dummy...I've managed to stop feeding DS to sleep...phew!...as he was requiring this hourly all night However, he now requires dummy to fall asleep ...which is fine other than the multiple inserts when he comes into light sleep (but I send DH in 😂) so I'll give that a try with removing it before he is completely asleep x

Thanks for the info annarose! Makes sense I think!

Just posting to say we've had some success with our 45 minute wake ups after bedtime. For the last week we've been watching the clock and ready to help resettle DD at the 45 minute mark. Some days all it takes is a pat and shush, other days a pick up and rock to soothe if she is more hysterical. But happy to say one of the nights she didn't stir at the 45 minute mark at all and one night she did wake but managed to get herself back to sleep without any help! I still believe it's a developmental thing rather than anything we've done but DH and I both just wanted to help her through that 45 minute glitch every night and it's looking like she may only need it some of the time now.

I still think it is the strangest thing and never heard of it before DD started doing it!

That's great news Lillian! Gives me hope!
We have made a little progress in that I am no longer feeding to sleep for naps or in the early evenings (nightime is still a bedsharing all you can eat buffet unfortunately). Although rocking to sleep is not a long term solution it does mean someone other than me can settle her.
Not sure if it's connected but her naps have gone back to 45 mins since I stopped feeding to sleep - we were struggling to get more than 20 mins the past month or so, even in the sling. I suspect this is more a developmental thing though.
I might try the clock watching and be ready to pounce at the 45 min wake up point to see if that helps. Will post an update if there is any progress.

Oh and I tried a dummy but without much success. It's just a distraction as she gets all excited, plays with it and keeps herself awake. She is also not able to put it back in when she spits it out (repeatedly while laughing).

Both mine did this at around 6 months despite being able to self settle and self settling at bedtime.

I am pretty sure they did it because they were transitioning from 3 naps in the day to 2. They weren't tired enough for a 3rd nap but couldn't quite make it through to bedtime on 2, so were a bit overtired by bedtime. So would conk out at bedtime but then ping awake due to having been overtired at bedtime and not having "settled" so much as passed out. Once they got a bit older it stopped happening. Teething also contributed.

Another update - DD has gone past the 45 min mark without waking for 5 nights in a row! Will keep watching before I celebrate though - as we all know with babies it's constantly changing!!