Baby napping tips

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I am reaching the end of my tether. DS is 4 months old and won't sleep a wink during daytime apart from 1-2 short 20-min catnaps. This means that he is exhausted by bedtime, won't concentrate to feed properly and ends up really frantic and crying at boob in late afternoon.

Bizarrely (and I am counting my blessings here!) he doesn't sleep half bad at night. He sleeps 7-10.30pm when he gets a 'dream feed' and then wakes up once or twice during the night. Not too bad. And no screaming or anything at night.

Naps are a different story. I have tried everything:
White noise
Napping routine
Making the room as dark as I can
Nursing to sleep (he falls asleep and wakes up as soon as I put him in cot)
Cuddles to wind down (ends up crying in my arms for anything from 20mins or more till he falls asleep from exhaustion - and then promptly wakes up when put in cot 70% of times)

He really seems to hate sleeping. He is either really awake and super energetic or crashes exhausted. There is never an in between 'sleepy' stage.

I don't rock him to sleep any more as it ended up giving me bad lower back pain and I could stand up. I did physio and it's better now but I want to avoid resorting to rocking for fear of pain coming back. Also not ideal sleep association anyway.

Any tips at all for a very frustrated FTM??

I am just worried that
A) he will suffer from all this lack of sleep. I read that babies of his age need 4/5 hours sleep a day (!)
B) if I do try and make him sleep (every session ends up with him crying in my arms one way or another for half hour or so) all the crying is doing more harm than good. I do NOT want to let him cry it out. It breaks my heart.

He is bf with one bottle formula for the dream feed

FATEdestiny always gives excellent nap advice. I would recommend trying to get baby to sleep at least 15 minutes sooner than you are currently trying. Also, what worked for us was a couple of weeks of sling or buggy naps till DD got the hang of sleeping in the day before we moved on to trying to get her into her cot.
Good luck!

Swinging crib. I got the Graco one and it changed my life. My baby never napped during the day until I put him in this and now he can't fight it. Set him in when he gets grizzly and a couple of minutes later he's asleep. Even if he wakes up after one sleep cycle the rocking motion puts him back over and gives him 3 hr naps. I wish I'd bought one earlier!

I think I've got a similar baby. Doesn't get sleepy, just gets cranky, and definitely doesn't settle for cuddles. What currently puts him to sleep, with varying degrees of success:
Pushing him in the pram works ~90% of the time, and he stays asleep if I move him into the back garden.
Bouncing in the bouncer works about half the time.
Feeding him to sleep sitting on my bed, and I gently slide him into the bed bedside me and take advantage and have a nap beside him
Sitting on an exercise ball, his head on my shoulder and gently bouncing sometimes works.
I'm currently trying to get him in into the habit of napping, my next step is to get him to nap in his cot! But I do seem to be spending more than half of each day trying to get him to sleep!

Watching this thread with interest. I have a 10 week old and like your LO he will sleep relatively well on a night but I'm buggered if I can get him to sleep in the day.

The only thing that works is taking him out for a drive and letting him fall asleep in his car seat. This is after 5 mins of whinging/crying.

I have tried to get him to sleep in his crib but to no avail. He just screams. I put him in a darkened room as soon as I spot the first yawn and have tried swaddling, dummy, white noise and cuddling. None of it works. In fact, it seems to make him more angry if I cuddle him.

It's all very disheartening as I know he needs more daytime sleep. I could also use 5 mins to myself where he isn't crying! I hope I find away to improve the situation soon.

I feel like crying!

Nursing to sleep (he falls asleep and wakes up as soon as I put him in cot)

So this works. Feeding to sleep gets baby to sleep. So do that. Do So it a lot more. More frequently.

The key is don't move a sleeping baby. Leave him there to sleep.

Why move a baby who you know needs to sleep? It's like you are deliberately making sleep more difficult for baby. You need to make sleep as easy as it could possibly be.

So feed to sleep on your bed, or just on the floor in your living room. Then when baby falls asleep extract yourself and cover baby in a blanket.

A dummy would be a useful thing to introduce, from the sounds of it.

Then limit awake time. Feed to sleep an hour at most from when baby last woke. Sooner if tired signs.

Absolutely agree with fate.
You need to get baby to sleep where they will stay asleep .
its only natural that moving a sleeping baby will wake up.

Completely agree with Fate. If you've want to get things done while he sleeps, have you tried a sling? I swear mine starts yawning at the mere sight of it, and usually falls asleep as soon as he's in

Thank you all so much! There are tips there and tricks that I haven't tried so def will.

He sometimes falls asleep in the buggy. It used to be our standard go-to solution but recently that doesn't always work either. He has discovered the world and sits there looking at everything and doesn't sleep..

I will also try fate's suggestion. That does make sense in principle but I just need to find the best way to do it. I breastfeed in an armchair so that is why I always have to move him afterwards... I've never really bf lying down but I am def willing to try!

Oh and we have tried to give him a dummy but he just spits it out sadly. We tried several times but he won't take one...

I've never really bf lying down but I am def willing to try!

If you've got no dogs or other children, the middle of the living room floor is the best place for this. Safe, no risk of rolling off a high surface. Means you can stay in the same room as sleeping baby (as per SIDS recommendation) and gets baby used to background noise and the comings and goings of a house.

If you wanted to make a snuggly surface, add a fleece blanket to lie on or even a lambskin, but really it a not needed. Carpet is fine and the safest surface.

Then breastfeed while watching tv, stick around until baby is fully asleep, extract yourself and cover baby with a blanket.

Don't be expecting massive lobg naps, half an hour would be a reasonable estimate. But keep naps frequent- 40-60 minutes awake time between naps.

Oh thank you Fatedestiny! Yes, no other DC or pets and living room sounds good. I am definitely trying this tomorrow. fingers crossed and here's hoping x