2 year old with ezcema no sleep

[badbutterfly]

My 2 year old has mild to moderate ezcema and doesn't sleep very much at all. I am so tired that I feel dizzy and sick. Last night I called her every disgusting word I could think of and I hate myself for it. My husband works away in the week and when he is home at weekends, feels he should be able to relax. I don't blame him really as he didn't even want this baby and I just went ahead and got pregnant anyway! I have another child and he still says he would have been happy with just the one. So I have brought on all this stress myself. That sounds awful as I love both my kids dearly. Help!

Badbutterfly. Lots of sympathy. We have just finished a week of sleepless nights with dd who has been poorly.

Do you think it's your daughters eczema that is causing the sleeplessness ? When you say she doesn't sleep much at all how much or little does she sleep ?

I don't think you should blame yourself at all and frankly I think your husband is being exremely selfish even if he didn't want the baby. Although maybe he resents you a little for going and getting pregnant anyway and that's why he is so unwilling to help ? Still it's no excuse.

Is there anyone you could get to come and help with your 2 year old so that you can get some rest ?

It's so depressing when you're tired but things will get better- or that's what I tell myself when it happens. Do you think it's just a phase or has she always been like this with sleep ? It must be very difficult to deal with on your own during the week.

Lots of sympathy. Buy yourself a nice bottle of wine or something you fancy, a good video and treat yourself tonight

Badbutterfly,

Don't feel bad about yourself: extreme tiredness and stress does horrible things to us all. PLEASE don't think you are the only one who has ever lost the plot with their kids. Don't know about the rest of the Mumsnet lot, but I have certainly done and said things I am not proud of, owing to lack of sleep and lack of support.

Also, try not to blame yourself about your partner's lack of understanding re your d.d. Okay, he may have been happy with one child, but you daughter is here now and that fact cannot be altered. Have you talked this issue over with him recently, or is it just too difficult/ sensitive at the moment. Maybe, as Tillysmummy suggested, you could enlist some family help and get out of the house to have a talk away from the children. Does he resent the fact that another child means you have less time for him?

Re. you daughter's eczema, have you spoken with other mums whose kids have the same condition? If your d.h. is away through the week, it may help you to feel less isolated if you can chat with other mums going through the same problems.

I am sure you are lovely mum who is just going through a tough time at the moment. Don't be too hard on yourself and remember that being a parent is the most difficult job in the world. None of us get it right all the time.

Good luck xxx

Badbutterfly, you are NOT a bad mum: IMO your husband is selfish to think that when he comes home at weekends he should be able to relax - he should be giving YOU a break since you have managed all the childcare (and sleeplessness) on your own during the week. And although he may not have wanted the baby initially he's had 2 years to get over it (A LONG TIME!) and should do, pronto!

We've all lost it at some point with our kids but sleeplessness is hell on earth and is bound to make you feel terrible and more bad tempered than usual. Not much advice on sleeping & skin probs I'm afraid but I'm sure someone here can help you crack it. Good luck.

Badbutterfly, I know how the sleepless nights and also the pure frustration of having a little one with ezcema. I got in last night and got to sleep at around 11.30 - 12.00 ds woke me up at 1.30 ish itching, not bad, but itching. Got him back to sleep after half an hour or so then he woke again and then had to get up around 5 to take dh to the station. All in all probably had 2 hours sleep and havnt really been able to catch up.

There is a couple of threads where we have talked about ezcema and ways of keeping it under control. Until recently, as ds seems to be now growing out of it, I could have counted how many nights he had slept through on one hand. I dont think he will ever be a good sleeper.

As for what your dh said, well, maybe some of your stress is the thought of him coming home at the weekend and having no help. I always put dh sleep first during the week as I am able to catch up at times, but he always puts me first at weekends and allows me to rest if I need it.

I've just read this thread and my heart goes out to you. I have a one year old with bad eczema which is kept in check with a rigid routine of creams and potions, exclusion diet, wet wrapping etc - she wakes all through the night, mainly rubbing her face which causes her dummy to fall out, which wakes her and then she needs the dummy back but can't do it herself as her hands are wrapped! (We're often up with her five times a night and we have another child too who makes the odd demand!)
It feels like it will never end but at least I do have my husband to share the load (and I do believe it will somehow get better at some point).

I've no doubt you are doing an amazing job keeping the eczema at bay and looking after two children on your own most of the week and with so much on your hands I'm sure your GP or Health Visitor would try and offer any support possible(or the National Eczema Society.)

We are very lucky in our area that we have some specialist childrens nurses who can visit at home and offer excellent advice and general support on all aspects of eczema. Our local pediatric nurse is a real life saver - I wonder if you have this service in your area - if so your HV should be the link. (I think I only got to see local nurse because my HV caught me on a really bad day and was worried about how I was coping!)

I know it's been over a month since you started this thread - so hopefully things maybe better already.
Good luck.

Can you give your child benedryl before bedtime. This will help stop the itching. Is that what ezcema does? How sad that your husband feels this way. Even if he did not want any more children your children are here and he should help in anyway he can. Its odd because most parents would of forgotten about not wanting another child especially after their child is born. Hope things get better for you. Just forget about the words you said. Being extremely tired can be very overwhelming and can really mess up your thinking. Your two year old wont even remember the next day. Which I guess has already passed.