Bad 8mo napped

[MaverickSnoopy]

DD2 has always struggled with naps and up until a couple of months ago only ever napped in the sling and would then nap for 3 x 1.5 - 2hr naps. On moving her to a cot she would take 3 x 20m - 1hr naps, with the very occasional 2hr nap (she's done his three times).

I've never been able to get her into a schedule and usually just aim to get her to nap 2hrs after waking, which is usually when she is eye rubbing. She wakes in the morning anywhere between 7 - 730 and bedtime is 730. Naps are (very) roughly 9am, 1pm and 5pm, but for example today was 40m, 20m and 30m. Monday was 2h, 1h and 40m. It varies so much.

I'm starting to think that she's napping at the wrong times or maybe only needs two naps, but longer ones. I don't know where to star because DD1 napped for England! I was hoping for some ideas? Only constraints are that I am out of the house between 835 - 905 and 245 - 320 and she refuses to nap in the buggy point blank.

I would be very grateful for thoughts!

That should read "bad 8mo napper" - she's not bad!

I would use nap length to determine how long awake until the next nap, rather than sticking with 3 naps a day (only) at set times.

For example if the 9am nap is 90m plus, baby will probably manage 2 or 3 hours of awake time, so next nap at 1pm would be fine.

But if your 9am nap is only 40m, she's not going to be able to manage until 1pm without getting over tired. So I would say 60-80m awake time and try for another nap at 10.45-11pm ish. Then if that nap is short, again have less awake time until next nap and it might be she does 4 naps that day, instead of 3.

Thanks. We don't actually use set times for naps but the ones that I mentioned are usually around the time she gets to sleep. For example, yesterday she woke at 7am so I put her down at 905 when we got back home. She went to sleep at 925 and woke at 1010, so 45m. So I took her back up at 1145 and she finally went to sleep at 210! On other days I do generally stick to 2 hours after last waking, unless she hasn't had very long, in which case I try a bit sooner. The problem seems to be that she takes ages to go to sleep, despite giving me the tired signs when I take her up.

Frustratingly I know that if I can get 9 hours sleep into her between midnight and bedtime then she will sleep through the night. Yesterday she got 8h 30m and so she was up in the night and wanted milk. This then introduces a pattern of less day time napping and waking in the night for Milk. However over the 9 hours and she naps better in the day (sleep feeds sleep with her) and doesn't wake at night. She is much happier when she naps in the day but I just can't seem to get her to nap reliably.

An update. She woke up at 530am today for milk (which she does if she doesn't get enough day time sleep) and subsequently wouldn't go back to sleep (she usually does). I've just given up trying to get her back to sleep, to give her breakfast so we can then take DD1 to school shortly. She's been in her cot playing happily with her hands the whole time! Two and a half hours!

So I can try and put her down do a nap at 9ish when we're back but she's due her milk at 930 so really I have to wait because if I bring the milk forwards then she won't drink it. If I put her down without it she won't go to sleep because she knows it's coming (mind you she probably won't go to sleep anyway!).

I feel like I'm playing a game of chess with her and losing! Any ideas?

And now she's sat rubbing toast in her eyes!

I don't understand you're rationale for leaving her alone, awake in the cot for 2 hours. I would consider that the wrong message. I want cot to equal sleep. Not playing/faffing.

So she has milk at 5.30, an hour nap and beakfast 8.30. You could give milk immediately after breakfast (doesn't matter how much she had, as long as she is full). Then asleep as soon as possible if shes showing tired signs.

What I'd actually have done if in your position would be:
● 5.30am milk feed, back to sleep
● 6.30 get up as soon as baby wakes.
● 7.15 ish breakfast followed by bottle
● back to sleep by 8am, if tired, but only a 30m power nap because I'd need to wake at 8.30 for school the run.
● Back home from school at 9am, bottle given, back to sleep.

Your, not you're