I know nothing about controlled crying. But can someone please tell me if this is what you're supposed to do when the kid is two?

[Caligula]

Leave them for 45 minutes?

Is this right? A friend has asked me and I have no idea. Told her to come on here and ask, but she won't.

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I don't know the answer, but 45 minutes seems awfully long to me.

No, that's not controlled crying, that's leaving a kid for 45 minutes.

that is called extinction. when you leave them to cry till it stops.

No - 10 minutes/2 minutes was what I was always advised (although you can extend the leaving bit by a little more each time - I never did though as I didn't like to)

You definitely don't leave them alone for 45 minutes, afaik. What's the exact problem? Is the kid in a cot or a bed?

OK have re-investigated. I was a bit startled by the 45 minutes figure, so have clarified - she means it took 45 minutes for him to fall asleep, but she did the gradual approach.

That sounds more normal, doesn't it?

Phew. I was so gobsmacked that I didn't know what to say. hence advising her to come on here. I didn't wnat to say I thought she was a nutter for leaving him for 45 minutes, as I've never had sleeping problems with my kids and thought she might scream at me that it's not me who is going through the torture of sleep deprivation.

Sounds like a good result.