Sleeping whilst she cries

[Blackyork]

Me and my husband just had a big bust up after i told him i was worried about something he said the other night. Our 9 month old is a great sleeper and had been from very early on but recently she's been poorly a few times so had woken in the night. The other night she was crying, i mean full on screaming which is not like her. I'm all for letting them cry a little as in the past leaving her for 5 mins meant she fell asleep without us intervening. Anyway so she was crying and my husband said to just turn down the monitor and go to sleep. I said at the time you can't just leave her crying like that and go to sleep, it's one thing letting them cry it's another switching off completely. Now I'm the bad guy for bringing up that this comment worried me, he's accusing me or not trusting him etc. If I'm wrong feel free to tell me but i really think that there is no way anyway would advise purposely trying to go to sleep to ignore a screaming baby????

It would upset me too, if my dh suggested the same thing.

I just feel it's unsafe as if you're asleep how would you know If she was actually in need of something. If she's crying long enough for you to go to sleep you need to check on her. But he's claiming loads of people turn monitor down and go you sleep whilst they cry and I'm the bad person for not trusting him.

I don't know anyone who would do that - I'd be upset at the suggestion. If I let my son cry I might turn the sound down, but I would be watching him at all times on the monitor to make sure he was ok. But then it sounds like your baby is like mine - it's not normal for him to cry. So I wouldn't leave him, he might only want comfort, but I wouldn't deny him that. My son was ill a few weeks ago and woke more frequently. It didn't last long in the grand scheme of things, and he's back sleeping fine now.

There will be lots of aspects of parenting you disagree on initially.

You have to be respectful of the others opinion, even if you disagree. Berating him just for having an opinion is not going to help you parent as a team.

He suggested something.
You disagree
You explain your reasons why
He explains his reasons why
Then you reach an agreement and parent from the same page, as a team.

There is no need to 'rub his face in it' or berate him further for suggesting something you disagree with. You are just continuing to exasperated an issue that should now be dropped.

Parenting as a team does not mean "my way is the right way". He has a different idea. You disagreed. You compromise and reach agreement. Then move on. End of story.