Urgent help: 2nd attempt at a 'big girl bed' How do you get them to stay in it?

[thethoughtfox]

I'm really apprehensive about trying this again. DD is nearly 4 and has slept through the night every night in her own since she was tiny. she could stay awake or wake in the night and entertain herself babbling away and always get herself to sleep. Alas it was too good to be true. We changed her cot into the bed when she turned 3 ( she had never tried to climb out even and slept in a sleeping bag so hadn't needed to before) It was a nightmare: she got out of bed continuously all evening and throughout the night every night. If she wanted comfort or even to sleep in our bed, I would have done that for her but she didn't seem to know what she wanted. At first it was a novelty, then a game, then she just kept wandering through. We tried gently putting her back, then she started running about crazy. We tried being cross and eventually tried closing the living room door firmly but she had a melt down when she couldn't open it and to this day is now obsessed with us not closing doors completely in case she can't get to us. After two weeks of this (on the last morning, I found her asleep outside our not completely closed bedroom door and it broke my heart) I took my mum's advice and made it into a cot again. She was so happy and hugged the bars saying, 'Thank you, thank you for my bars, Mama' Every night for weeks she thanked us for doing it. This can't go on forever: even her baby cousin is now in a bed. She has agreed to let me take one side of the cot off and is having great fun running in and out this afternoon.

I have to do this, right? I can't let her stay in a cot till she goes to school. How do I get her to stay in, if she starts this all again?

Would something like this work?

That is beautiful. That's a great idea.

A bed guard might work, especially on a cot bed. My ds has a cot bed as a bed but with a bed guard because he sleeps in funny positions!

The bed guard fills nearly the whole space. there is a smallish gap at his feet end so he can climb in and out.

At four she will understand a star chart. We've used star charts a lot with our three and they really work. Make it simple and achievable. Once ours got a set number of stars they could choose a new toy.

I'm yet to move my 3 year old in a bed but I wonder if she might take to it more if you could show her something beneficial about getting out of bed. Like the fact she could get up on her own to go to the toilet. Or the fact that she could get up to get a teddy or a book. But equally that she can get up to do that and then choose to go back. Could you maybe try a bit of a game of "go and get x and bring it back to bed" so she knows that although she can leave her safe place she can return to it to.

See the problem last time she thought running in and out was a great game so I wanted to play that down this time!

Any progress OP?