6.5 month old was sleeping through, now waking; CC not working

[rolymoly]

Until 6 days ago dd2 had been sleeping through (7-7 without waking) for about 4 weeks. This included two weeks while we were on holiday, where after one rocky bedtime she settled back to not waking at all, despite loud tantrumming from her big sister (3) on occasion. Since we've got home, she's woken every night, usually at around 2. I thought at first she was resettling after the long flight and being away from home, and didn't want to reinforce the night waking by doing too much cuddling or soothing. I particularly didn't want to start feeding her at night again, which I had been doing until a month ago.

So, I responded in a modifed cc kind of way--going in to her every now and again (about every 15 minutes though not watching the clock), moving her if she had got herself into a really uncomfortable position in her cot, and going out again. I confidently expected that we'd see quick improvements, as CC worked wonders with dd1 for night waking at 7 months, and when I decided to stop feeding dd2 at night the first time round she was sleeping through after only 2 nights. But instead, she's cried for 30-80 minutes every night, and there's been no improvement at all. Last night I so wanted to get back to sleep that I fed her after 45 minutes crying after which she slept like an angel until 7.45 am.

Now I don't know what to do. Although I've occasionally picked her up, I really think I've been pretty hardnosed with the CC (until last night!) which makes me wonder why it hasn't worked. Maybe she is really getting hungry at night. That does seem odd, though, considering that she hadn't needed milk at night for several weeks. Do they have growth spurts at this age? Another possibilitythough perhaps this one is far-fetchedis that on holiday she had got used to sharing a room with dd1, and finds it harder to put herself back to sleep now she's in a separate room again. The irony of that is that the only reason she's on her own now is because I don't want her to disturb dd1 at night. In the long run we want them to share a room.

In all other ways she is an excellent sleeper--has good naps, and settles herself well at bedtimes. Should I persist with the CC (which I know will now be set back because of feeding her last night), or go back to night feedings for a while (how long)? I don't mind feeding her at night but I don't want her to end up with a night-waking habit that's more difficult to break than it is now.

Sorry this is so long.

At 6.5 months can you rule out teething? If she is genuinely OK and not hungry/thirsty/poorly I would continue with the CC otherwise she will get confused with the mixed messages.

She hasn't got any teeth yet and I keep looking for the signs, but I don't think it's teething--she's certainly not miserable during the day. I've been stuffing her with food all day today in case hunger is the problem. I think I might just go back to feeding her at night for a couple of weeks. I don't want to lose my resolve in the middle of the night again and make her cry for ages only to feed her.

rolymoly, I found with both of mine that their teeting pain was at its worst before I could see anything in their mouths and that it ofen came only at night. I would wonder what on earth was up and then a few weeks later a new tooth pops up. You'd have thought I'd have cottoned on by now...

my dd was also happy as a baby should be during the day, slept her naps etc, but would always wake at night with teething.
WE learned after the 1st 4 teeth, that whenever she wakes, she needs something! Usually Calpol or a cuddle

My dd never woke at night like you're describing with teething apart from when she got her molars in at around 15 months, but she was also miserable in the daytime and chewing her hands, having vile nappies and nappy rash. If I were you I wouldn't automatically put it down to teething with no other signs, also your feeding her wouldn't have calmed her back to sleep if pain was the problem. If I remember correctly, I think the 6-7 month mark is a time of huge mental / physical / emotional changes so there could be one of a couple of things going on. She might be heading into her first real separation anxiety phase and feeling a bit afraid to wake and find herself alone at night (thus she slept well with her sister and probably did get used to the company in the room). Or she might need extra milk as she's got more physiological things going on. Like yours my dd was a good sleeper generally but would occasionally have moments of needing a feed in the night and I used to just go with that and she'd usually settle back into her usual pattern fairly quickly. If you find things haven't improved in a couple of weeks maybe you'll have to rethink whether to do cc or not. But I think you're totally right that to do a bit of cc and then give in and give a feed is probably not a great idea, definitely confusing and will muddy matters if / when you decide to do cc again.

Was there a time difference while you were away on holiday. I find that when we travel my children (1.5 and 3.5) adjust to the new time (even the 8 hours to la) within a few days, but can take more than a week to adjust to the eating times. This means that they are asking for food at odd hours and not eating at meal times. I found that when they were younger and couldn't tell me that they were hungry this meant waking at night without my really understanding why. Also, my ds (who took really well to cc) would always have to be redone each time he had a cold. And often he would start the night wakings a day or two before I realized that he was ill. My dd never really took to cc and we ended up putting her to bed with a bottle in order to get her to sleep. She eventually just grew out of the night wakings, but not before I was very very tired. I switched it from milk to water when she was about 15 mo., but even now at 19 mo. she won't go to sleep at night without her bottle of water.

Thanks for the responses. I'm wondering now whether yesterday's decisionto feed her if/when she wokewas the right one. Instead of waking once as she'd done for the previous week, she woke twice, at midnight and 3. I fed her both times and both times she went back to sleep quickly, but then wasn't very interested in milk this morning, which makes me pretty sure she isn't really waking out of hunger, but for some other reason. I'm worried that if I keep feeding her whenever she cries for a couple of weeks, she'll have completely forgotten how to get to sleep on her own by the end of that time.

StrangerthanFiction--I do think there might be something in the 'missing her sister' theory, but it's a very hard one to test. If we are going to have to do CC again at some point I don't want dd1 to be woken by it. I'd be interested in other experiences on this one. I wonder if putting the baby unit of the baby monitor in dd1's room and the parent unit in dd2's, so dd1 can hear dd2's breathing over the monitor, might help.

SofiaAmes--there was a 3 hour time difference, but she's been eating like a horse, so I don't think it's that. When you say your dd didn't take to CC, what do you mean? How long did you try it for, and what happened?

rolymoly, that's a bit of a bad outcome. She might be waking once for food, but twice is a bit much at her age. Re. the cc though, in my experience if she's settling herself on her own at bedtime and at nap times then it might not work just for the middle of the night. I think the idea of the baby monitor might be a good one!

That's interesting, stf. Why do you think cc might not work in the middle of the night? My hope was that it would work better/more quickly for a baby who can usually get to sleep on his/her own than for one that had problems going to sleep alone in any circumstances. And it did work really well when dd2 was 5.5 months and I decided her waking at night was out of habit, not for food. That's why I was really surprised on night 6 when dd2 was still crying after 40 minutes.

We're going to try the baby monitor idea, but I also need to work out before I go to bed what I'm going to do when she wakes up tonight. Part of the problem is I don't feel I have any means of getting her to sleep apart from a) feeding her or b) putting her in her cot and waiting for her to go to sleep--ie controlled (or not) crying. Cuddling and patting without feeding doesn't seem to calm her down in the middle of the night, or at least, not enough that she doesn't just cry again immediately she's put back in the cot.

rolymoly, she would just cry and cry and cry and never really stopped. With our ds, it took 2 or 3 nights get the cc to work and each of those nights he cried for a little less time. With dd she just didn't get any better after a week or more. And when we finally did resort to giving her a bottle, when she woke up in the middle of the night, we tried letting her cry and it just didn't stop. She could go for 1/2 hour without stopping until we put the bottle back in her mouth. I just didn't feel comfortable leaving her for that long crying and decided that she would eventually sleep through the night when she was ready to do so and I could survive with a little less sleep for a few months longer. Luckily dh did have the night duties so it wasn't too unbearable. (funnily enough she didn't start walking until 18 mo. even though she was physically able to from 9 or 10 months....she just wasn't going to do it until she was good and ready).

That's discouraging SofiaAmes. How old was she when she did sleep through? I would be prepared to just keep feeding her at night, but it does seem to encourage her to wake up more frequently.

We decided to have another go with CC, and dp has agreed to do the 'visits' for the time being which makes it much easier for me. Last night she cried out at 2.15 but then went straight back to sleep, which I thought was a good sign. Then she woke up at 3 and cried for 45 minutes, but a bit intermittently, so better than last week. Maybe having the baby monitor in there is having some effect. We're going to try to be really consistent for a full week, and then see where we are.

oh, you reminded me, I forgot to say...If you are the regular feeder (particularly if you are/were bfing) I highly recommend getting your partner to do the night visits as your baby will not associate him with food.

Please don't be discouraged. It actually wasn't that bad, and once I had decided that we were just going to ride the night wakings through and not do cc, I felt a lot less anxious about the whole thing and ironically ended up feeling far less tired in the morning. I think I was probably making it worse by getting so stressed out about it.

Now I just need to train my ds (3.5) to get up in the morning and quietly go downstairs and watch a video, instead of coming into our room and sitting on my head and demanding kisses.

She started to sleep through around 17/18 mo, but we do go to the usa 2 times a year, so adjusting to the 11 hour time difference probably prolonged it longer than it would have been otherwise.

Just a quick update--last night dd2 slept through (more or less) . She did wake and cry out at about 4, but was quiet again within 5 minutes. DD1 is another story, though.

And today is dd2's first day at nursery, and my first day back at work. Feeling slightly odd ...