My 6 week old will not sleep in the day

[singingpinkmonkey]

My 6 week old son sleeps relatively well on a night now. For example last night he slept 7pm -2am and woke for a bottle and then 2:30am - 6:30am. I jut can't get him to sleep in the day for naps. He has been awake since 6:30 and I've tried cuddling him, walking in the pram, white noise and rocking. He will not sleep at all.
When I've tried looking for help everything seems to suggest as soon as you see the first yawn put him down for a sleep but he just stays awake and eventually cries! How on earth do I actually get him to sleep???

If anyone is in the same boat or has any advice I would love to hear from you!

have you tried swaddling? You can try with a muslin cloth if you don't have a swaddle cloth now. My baby hates it as he likes having his arms out so this didn't work for us but worth a try for you if you haven't already.
Other things that work for us - sleepyhead, euan the dream sheep and a dummy. My baby is almost 5 months and has never been a good day time napper but sleeps well at night time.
Try rocking your baby in your arms, shushing and doing a heat beat tap on his bum. Remember he is only 6 weeks old and everything is still so new for him, get yourself comfy with every thing you need for yourself to hand, snacks, water tv remote etc and you may need to stay put while he naps on you for a while!
Hang in there it does get better and enjoy your new born snuggles

Thank you. He will sleep on me but I've read that it's bad to let the baby get used to sleeping on you or being rocked to sleep as it will create bad habits in the future. It's so confusing!!! I don't know what to do!
I have tried swaddling but like your LO he doesn't like it and wriggles out of it!

You have very typical first time mum stressing there.

Baby needs to sleep. It is as important to his development as feeding is. Would you go out of your way to make feeding hard for baby?

"My 6 week old will not sleep in the day..." then "He will sleep on me..."

So he will sleep. Just not in the "right" way for you. Its most important that he sleeps, however that happens. If he only sleeps on you then that is your start point. He's going to have to sleep on you because he's going to have to sleep. Then over time you can find other ways to help him sleep.

That might involve attachment parenting methods - cosleeping, sleeping in your arms, sling, cuddles, breastfeeding to sleep

That might involve independent sleeping methods - dummy, swaddle, sleeping in things that move (pram, bouncy chair, swing)

...or a mixture of the two.

In either case baby will need active help to get to sleep and stay asleep. And in any case baby first needs to be sleeping enough, then gradually you reduce the dependence on things you don't favour as much as possible.

Hello FATE
I see what you mean and I agree that the most important thing is that he sleeps. It just seems everything I read/see seems to suggest that I need to put the baby down to sleep while still awake in his cot/Moses and I feel like I'm not able to do that and it stresses me out.
I just don't understand why I find it so difficult and why I'm not getting it right!

You're not getting it wrong OP. 6 weeks is still incredibly tiny and sleeping on you is not 'making a rod for your own back'. Let him sleep on you. If you can then put him down great, if not then just stay put if you can or use a sling

"I don't understand why I'm not getting it right"

Who says what is "right" or "wrong"?

I have 2 grown up dds and the "experts" and their advice changes all the time! When you read something it's what is thought to be the best advice at that time, but it will almost certainly change next week/year. As an example when DD1 was born, babies were not allowed to sleep on their backs. We were told they might be sick and it contributes to cot deaths. Well we know how rubbish that advice is now! My friend had a baby who would only sleep on her back and her HV said some awful things about what would happen to her son.

So you need to do what is best for you and your baby. YOU are the expert as far as your son is concerned because you know him best, do not forget that!

So if he sleeps on you during the day, then let him do that and relax and enjoy that time, if you can. He will change almost every week so in a few weeks you might beable to put him down to sleep, but just go with what he likes now.

Also, my dd1 was very like your son in that she slept so well at night (hooray) but would not be put down during the day.(boo)
Through trial and error I found she would only sleep if I took her out in her pram, so every single blooming day, I took her out in her prom, twice a day. She got her sleep, we got some fresh air, we were all happy.
I ignored people who said I was making a rod for my own back and I should just put her in her cot and let her cry (yes, that was the advice at the time). I did what was right for me and my baby.

At six weeks, let him sleep on you. DS did this for about the first 4 months and has slept in his cot for naps religiously ever since (he's 19mo now) he also sleeps in a pram at nursery and at his grans etc, he wasn't made into a non-napping monster by my rocking him to sleep for months.

Your baby is tiny and at this stage you probably don't have anywhere to be during the day so just enjoy it. I watched 11 series of Greys Anatomy while DS napped! He would never in a million years nap on me now and I miss it, so make the most of these days while you can.

Before 3-4 months your still in the so called "fourth trimester". Both of mine would only sleep on me or DH until about 12 weeks. Then, barring, reflux or any other reason they aren't comfy you can start to try and put them down once asleep then drowsy but not asleep and finally awake. Really he just needs to sleep. Enjoy it if you can. It's over in a heartbeat.

I was in exactly the same situation as you. I wish I had just let DD nap on me or in the sling rather than keep trying to put her down for naps.
He will get there in the end, try again when he's 3 months or so, in the mean time invest in a good sling!

I feel a bit better now hearing your experiences. I'm quite an anxious person and have been diagnosed with PND and put on Citalopram so I'm a lot more stressed than usual.
You are right I should enjoy the cuddles and not worry too much about 'rod for your own back'. I just need to let him sleep on me I think if that's what brings him peace!

Mine was/still is (DS2 is 11 weeks) like this. As others have said, baby needs to sleep so if that's on you, so be it! I get myself a thermos of tea, lots of snacks and phone/charger and settle on the sofa or bed. I don't sleep myself sadly! But it's restful and it's lovely to hold my baby. They do get better at napping when they're older, I keep having to remind myself of this. Before too long you'll be worrying about how to entertain him during the day and longing for a bit of sofa downtime so just go along with it for now if you can.

My third DD still sleeps on me in the day (luckily I don't work!)....she's 30 months old and we love it. It's our chill out, cuddle time! I can get her to sleep at night easily but end up in with her from about 3am, which is fine for us. It won't last forever! All I can say is do what feels right for you. I did some sleep training with DD1 and it stressed us all out, and made us all tired and miserable so I stopped. She's now 8 years old and has no problems sleeping (on her own). These books giving advice can make you feel very guilty. Your little DD will sleep (on you, hurrah...enjoy it!). You can tackle sleep training when she is older! Best of luck. X

everything I read/see seems to suggest...

Forgetting what you have read, are you happy to hold him to sleep?

If this is your first baby, you may not really appreciate the type of parent you are. You cant find that out my reading and you cant figure it out by stressing over what you "should do". You can only learn your parenting style by parenting.

So me, I am not a natural attachment parent.

An attachment parent relishes physical contact with baby. They will comfort their baby by cosleeping, letting baby sleep in their arms, breastfeeding to sleep, carrying baby in a sling rather than a pushchair.

There is loads of inbetween whereby parents are a mixture of the two. But the polar opposite of this is me. An independent sleeper.

An independent sleeper sleeps separately to the parent. An independent sleeper recognises that babies still need comfort to get to sleep, but develop methods of giving that comfort while also encouraging independent sleeping. The independent sleeper uses tolls, rather than mum, to sleep. Dummy instead of nipple. Bouncer/pushchair instead of rocking in arms. Swaddle to give that tight/secure feeling that being help gives. Cosleeper cot, to allow for in-situ parental comforting but allowing for withdrawing into own space when asleep.

I should enjoy the cuddles...

I'm here to tell you you don't have to enjoy the cuddles. There need be no "should" in your sentence. If you do enjoy the cuddles. Great. If you don't, there are ways that you can help baby to sleep independently.

There is nothing wrong with being the type of parent who wants her own space while baby sleeps. Its just that you cant do this, while simultaneously behaving like an attachment parent. You have to actively work at independent sleeping. Attachment parenting is generally the easy option.

Nothing wrong with either option. Its just you do have a choice.

My DD is 15 weeks and I've only just got to the point where I can lay her down for a sleep, up until a few days ago she has only slept on someone since she was born! 6 weeks is still so tiny and he needs to feel safe and that you're still there when he naps. Just let him sleep on your for now, I promise he'll outgrow it soon and you'll miss it! (I do anyway!)

I used to fret about my DS not napping independently. Now I consider his naps in my arms to be one of the highlights of my day.

I'm going to miss his naps when I'm back at work next week OP, I'm jealous that you have months of lovely snuggly naps ahead of you. Enjoy them!

My advice is to stop reading books or blogs and start "reading" your baby. Do what works for you and him. Figure out his preferences. He doesn't know what those parenting books say! He doesn't know what he's "supposed" to be doing. He is very, very young and his wants are the same as his needs. He's spent his entire existence in close proximity to his mother - you!! - so it makes sense he would feel safe and happy to sleep on you. :)

You sound like a lovely mum, trying hard to do your best.

DS was like this. Suddenly at 7 weeks he just stopped sleeping during the day! And I stressed so much about doing the "right thing" and making a rod for my own back...

In the end, I just did whatever it took to get him to sleep (rocking, taking him for walks in the buggy etc) and did this until we'd established some kind of routine, then started rocking him to sleep and putting him down in his cot once he was asleep. Eventually, at around 6 months, I could put him down awake and he'd drop off. And now he's 9 and a half years old and I just sent him upstairs to bed!

One key thing I would advise is trying to get him to sleep way earlier than you might think. Watch for sleep cues and start trying as soon as you see them. This might be after only an hour being awake at his age.

Good luck!