Help! Going backwards at 10 weeks

[helpitsallgonewrong]

Hello - I have posted this in feeding too as not sure where it should be really.

After being blessed with a great sleeper and feeder everything has gone horribly wrong and was hoping someone could give me some sage advice on how to get back on track.

DS is 10 weeks old and ebf. He was 8lb at birth (arrived 2 weeks early) and has gained consistently - his last weigh in at 9w he was 12lb5oz.

The first 8 weeks he was an excellent feeder and sleeper. He starts his day at 7am (no idea why! - a natural Gina baby.) I would feed him every 3-3.5ish hours during the day, then clusterfeed between 6-10pmish. He would then wake once in the night between 3-5am, usually around 4-430am. At about 6w we managed to replace the clusterfeed with bedtime at 730pm, with a wake up feed at 1030/11 (I'd offer him breast then top up with EBM if he still seemed hungry).

Then at 8w he got a vicious cold. Was struggling to breathe and had one day where he fed very little at all. I decided to demand feed him by offering him the breast every 90mins or so (assuming he didn't ask for it earlier) on the basis he was feeding a lot less as (I presume) he couldn't breathe well. We did this for 4-5 days whilst he recovered and it seemed to be working ok - his night sleep seemed largely unaffected (some nights he woke at 330am snuffling but the rhythm was still there).

Then last week he suddenly turned into a fussy screaming baby who didn't want to sleep during the day. When he feeds after about 5 minutes he screams and pulls off the boob and stretches his legs right out so they are rigid as if he is in pain. He started waking up every 90mins to 2 hours during the night screaming - usually he wanted a feed although not always. 2 days later I got a stomach virus and projectile vomited for 16 hours straight. This clearly has knocked my supply for 6 as I was so dehydrated - I've tried expressing since and whereas I used to be able to get 100ml off one side consistently and easily I am now struggling to get 50ml.

So - 5 days on from the bug, DS is demand feeding little and often during the day, fighting sleep the whole way. He then quasi clusterfeeds from 530-730ish before falling asleep exhausted. I wake him for a feed at 1130 which is usually short and he falls asleep on the breast. He then wakes up at 230am, 5am, 6am and then starts his day at 7am - he barely has time to get back to sleep after the later feeds!

How do I get back to some semblance of normality? And have I permanently damaged my supply? How do I stop him continuously falling asleep on the breast after 5mins? What does the screaming & stretching out legs mean? Am really worried I can no longer give him enough to satisfy him overnight. I keep hearing "he's such a big baby he should be sleeping 6+ hours overnight" - but he's going backwards!

Being baby led doesn't mean you have to wait for him. If you learn that he seems tired after 60 mins awake, then plan to nap 60 mins after he wakes up. Let him sleep (however long it may be) and then when he wakes up, try a nap not more than 60 mins after that. It's too early to be able to plan exactly what time naps will happen - but you will get to that stage. Not that's it's always that accurate!

My DS breastfeeds all the time. As far as naps go, I don't put him down. It never worked with DD and I made myself miserable trying!

So far this morning for us:
Woke up at 7:00 (everybody getting up for work/nursery), changed and sat on bouncy chair whilst I got ready. About 7:30, started feeding whilst I ate breakfast. On and off the boob (I was also chasing DD to go on the potty ), then he fed at about 8:00 before I put him in the car seat. He napped in the car from 8:15-9:30 ish whilst I did the nursery run. Then he fed when he woke up at home. 10:00 was a nappy change, kick on the floor. Fed again at about 10:15 and fell asleep on me so I'm enjoying some TV time.

Plans for the afternoon probably include a sit in the bouncy chair whilst I vacuum and get lunch, a nap in the sling whilst I walk to the shop and a good feed before we do the nursery run again. Then he'll probably cluster feed and doze from about half 5 and we'll go up to bed at about half 8 to 9. We cosleep so I'll feed to sleep in bed.

Not sure if that helps! I don't really know what time anything will happen other than we'll go for DD at 4. DS sleeps for a lot longer than DD ever did and seems to go about 75 mins between sleeps. DD always had short naps until she was about 1 so at this age, she didn't really go longer than 45-60 mins before she fell asleep again, always either whilst feeding or in the sling/pram/car. This is why I could never do GF - I don't see how all babies can possibly run on the same timings. It just doesn't make sense.

is the matress cold?
we resorted to a fluffy towel under the sheet and a pee-warm hot water bottle.
still dc2 only started to sleep through the night at 3yo

This morning is a good example - he woke at 730. I fed him and we played a little bit. At 830 he started yawning...

Tired signs are seen on the latter end of the "I'm tired" scale. So yawning at 8.30am probably meant you could have started getting him to sleep at 8am, a sleep for 8.15. Depending on his night, we may have still been tired for his overnight sleep. 10 weeks is still in the sleeping most of the time phase (just).

...I gave him a comfort duck on the boob, rocked and shushed and he quasi fell asleep in my arms - I put him down in a swaddle with some white noise and he nodded off. For 10 mins

Could you have tried putting him in something that allows for rhythmic movement? Bouncy chair for example. Or sling or pram. Movement will help him get to sleep and stay asleep.

Also - what's the point of the comfort suck on the boob? If this isn't a feed and isn't the method of getting to sleep (you mention rocking) I was just wondered why it was added on when your focus is getting baby to sleep?

I would have done a top-up breastfeed (to check not hungry) and then instead of rocking - into bouncy chair while still awake. And instead of comfort sucking the breast, comfort sucking a dummy for the purpose of going sleep. Then the whole of the 'going to sleep' process happens in the bouncer. No need to move a sleeping baby.

The transfer is the problem. Once asleep, babies don't take well to being moved or 'put down'. The idea is either
(a) get baby to sleep where you want them to stay asleep or
(b) accept baby will sleep wherever he falls asleep. Even if that's in your arms and not convenient to you. Or
(c) accept baby will probably wake and not settle well if moved. No big deal if you have realistic expectations on the matter. Just reduce awake time to accommodate shorter naps.

Thanks tea - that does help!

FATE i find that when DS gets overtired or wired up a short feed will calm him down to the point I can even attempt to put him to sleep.

Sadly the bouncer doesn't work - he sits there nicely and wide awake no matter how long I bounce for. I'm not sure why?!

It doesn't have to be a bouncer. How about a sling or placing into a pram (indoors). You mention rocking to sleep, so I assume baby like a that slow, gentle, rhythmic movement? I wondered if you could find a way to give that gentle movement to lull to sleep in-situ, so you don't have to move her once asleep?

Yes he will sleep in a sling although he fights getting in it. I do use that when I'm round the house although I'm recovering from an emergency c section and he is almost 6kgs already so I have to be a bit careful. Can't fit pram indoors (it stays in the garage) so that's not an option.

The last day or so he has slept almost continuously during the day - admittedly mostly not in his basket but still! He passed out in my arms mid feed at 5pm today and slept until 830 - I didn't have the heart to wake or move him. So who knows what tonight holds! Night sleeping is still horrendous and I'm not convinced he is feeding enough either as half the time he screams and pulls off the breast. So swings and roundabouts.

I will get him weighed on Monday and we'll see - I'm already dreading it.