My son is 4 months and still not sleeping in the night

[cuddlebug]

I know it is probably normal but everyone I know who has a 4 month old now sleeps through the night except mine! He goes to bed between 9-10 after a bottle, wakes at 1, then 3.30, then again about 7 and then at 9... everyone I know with babies the same age as he is nownsleep right through from 9 til 7! :( he has not slept through once since the day he has been born and I am shattered! I need a good nights sleep, but I know being a mum that is almost impossible to achieve lol! One issue is that my OH snores so loudly in the night so I am wondering maybe that is waking my son up but I feed him cos I think it is hunger? (He is formula fed).

I was thinking about putting him in his own room because a friend of mine put her 10 week old daughter in her own room because every little sound she and her boyfriend made (from moving into the bed to maybe having a little cough, she would wake up), and she now sleeps through the night whereas before, she was constantly waking up because of the noise.

This sounds like my son, he is such a light sleeper and has sixth sense as well! If you go into the bedroom when he is asleep he just &&knows&& you're in there and he would wake up. Is 4 months still really is too young for him to be in his own room? I am thinking of a trial run but is that such a good idea? Thanks all xx

biking I was thinking the same thing Another one here whose not lying!

My DS has slept through since about 13 weeks and he is now 22 weeks and still sleeping through. He's had the odd night where he's been unsettled due to teething and injections etc but other than that he is pretty consistent. I have no reason to lie and I don't know why anyone would tbh. It's not a competition.

Every baby is different. Some are good sleepers, some aren't. Your baby will sleep through when they're ready.

I'm not lying but DS was sleeping through at about 3 months but he was ff and we gave him a dummy. I used to still wake up and watch him. Now he's 8 months old and is a crap sleeper most days, but one of us goes in, dummy back in, quick kiss and then he's back off.
I don't know why people lie about things as a parent but I doubt my friends and I do as none of us think parenting is a competitive sport.
My step father in law's son didn't sleep until he was 8! My nephew was a shit sleeper, still is and he's 20

My 4 month old goes to sleep about 8 and wakes to feed around 10.30, 2.30, 4.30, 6.30. Definitely not expecting him to sleep through any time soon. My first slept through at 12 weeks. You just have to go with it and keep plugging on in the hope it will happen at some point.

All the people telling you their newborns are sleeping through the night are talking absolute crap......

At 4 months old it is perfectly normal for them to wake several times in the night. They need to be fed!

Mine didn't sleep through the night (12 hours) until 9 months and I count that as very good going.

I think my point is, is that some children sleep better, and some children don't. It's not helpful making assumptions either way.

Either setting a standard that is unachievable for some babies, nor saying that it's normal for every child.

I mentioned earlier my third was a terrible sleeper, but for me knowing my other two had slept gave me some hope that it would get better. It meant I was willing to try some gentle sleep training because I knew that I wasn't setting my expectations too high.

Blackbird how do you know that?!? What basis are you saying that? I'm not talking crap, and I'm sure others here aren't either. Why would we be?!

Odds are one of your friends babies sleeps through and the rest of them are just saying that in case it somehow makes them less of a parent somehow.
Out of a group of 30 odd mums in my antenatal group 2/3 were sleeping through at 4 months.
Now at 8 months I don't think any of them sleep through.
Leaps, teething, rolling, crawling, separation anxiety. There are some many reasons for babies to wake in the first year or so and it's completely normal. Sleep when you can, get your DH to help. They sleep eventually but it might not be anytime soon sorry!

All the people telling you their newborns are sleeping through the night are talking absolute crap......

Erm, you're the one talking absolute crap not sure how you can know that for sure to be honest. Yes, some people may lie for whatever reason, but my DS has been sleeping 7pm-8am since 13 weeks old. Fact.

I have 4 children and each has slept through at totally different ages. My youngest is 14months and not sleeping through, that's the longest any of them have made me wait for proper sleep! I'm firmly in the camp of 'they get there when they get there', and the more you try to make it happen the more you'll stress yourself out about it.

My eldest did sleep through from 7 weeks, not sure why some people say we must be lying if we say that .

Every child is different, it's hard not to compare them but they really do all get there in the end.

I have a 12 month old who doesn't sleep through the night 😁

My DS and at 4 months was breastfeeding every 2-3 hours through the night - which is completely normal. He didn't "sleep through" the night until he was 21 months old. And still wasn't a great sleeper until he started school...
DD was better, at 4 months she was doing maybe up to 5 hours before feeding again.
I'm amazed that you would know so many 4 month olds who are "sleeping through". I bet the reality is quite different and parents are at best exaggerating.
Please don't beat yourself up, babies at that age do need to feed frequently as stomachs still so small.
I also wouldn't move into own room until 6 months.
Get sleep during the day when you can - and I promise it doesn't last forever!!

I was never really sure what 'sleeping through' meant. My DS has always been a brilliant sleeper and apart from waking for the obligatory feeds would sleep solidly between them. A number of friends would claim that their dc was sleeping through but then go on to tell me their feeding schedule through the night.
It's more a question of interpretation rather than competition, a bit like Trigger the road sweepers broom in 'Only fools and horses'.

I agree with a pp - people seem to mean all different things by sleeping through. Another mum said her newborn dd was sleeping through (11pm-5am). While that is great, I wouldn't personally call that sleeping through myself. I always think of sleeping through as at least 10 hours of pretty much undisturbed sleep, whereas I know others have different interpretations.

Why do people assume we're lying?! Some babies sleep better than others, just like some babies sit up quicker, or crawl earlier or talk etc! Fgs I hate all this judgey parenting crap. My son slept perfectly well until he was 5 months old and we moved him into his own room the same week he got a terrible cold. Op it's rubbish, it really is but hold on in there, there will come a day when he'll sleep through and you won't even have realised, try him one night in his own room, monitor up etc. I know plenty of mums who moved babies when they were a few weeks old because they all needed sleep. Good luck and I hope he sleeps through soon! Also even though it is terribly frowned upon, would you consider a dummy, that's what we did for our son and how we got him to sleep through the night. Pop a dummy in, we use one with a different teat to his bottle so he knows its not feeding time, and he's fine. Good luck!

I don't know any 4 month old that sleeps all night.

Find new friends!

I don't think anybody is accusing people on this thread of lying, or saying that there aren't some babies who sleep through very young. But it's certainly not the majority of babies, so if all of your friends are saying that their babies are sleeping through then the chances are that at least some of them are fibbing or stretching the truth. For example, my friend would tell you that her DS slept through from 10 weeks. He didn't. He slept from midnight until about 5am. But she genuinely classed that as sleeping through.

OP, it's tough getting barely any sleep but I'm afraid what your baby is doing is totally normal at this age. My DD has always been a rubbish sleeper but 4 months just went completely to pot and for about 6 weeks she was walking up every 60-90 minutes 😬. She's 8 months now and still wakes up at least twice every night but I am at least getting usually 3-4 hours at a time so it's fine now.

Don't worry about what everyone else's babies are doing. It's not going to make any difference to yours I'm afraid and it's a bad road to go down comparing to others in my opinion. I also know babies change one week to the next so it certainly doesn't last!

You need to try get some sleep at weekends when you can. When DD1 was little I felt awful we weren't doing family stuff but sod it, sleep wins and it's nice for babies to be with their dads! Try get some lie ins and naps if you can. It does get better eventually... but my two year old still wakes at least once a night! No one tells you this when you're pregnant!!!