What to do when you personally can't get baby to sleep?

[Shadowboy]

I have an 8 week old that I can't get to sleep- it usually takes somewhere between 1-6 hours!!!! For me to get her to fall asleep with lots of fussing and tears BUT anyone else such as my husband, my mum or MIL can get her to sleep easily. I'm gutted, feel highly incompetent and a bit useless. I husband holds her she's asleep within 20-30min. But he's working so I have to do it.
The only quick way is in a sling so every day I walk 2-4 miles to give her a nap but it means pushing toddler in pushchair as she can't walk that far and obviously when it's raining all day we can't do it.

I'm not sure what I'm doing wrong?
I use a dummy and have tried a bouncer but she has a meltdown in it and it's the same in the car seat.

Sorry for typos- trying to jiggle her to sleep and typing with one hand!
Feeding to sleep doesn't work either

Try to relax.

With my own when ever I was worked up or trying to wish them to sleep, they would take longer.

I'm a nanny now and even the kids I look after are affected by how I'm feeling.

Try and calm down, just relax, if baby sleeps then great, but it will get easier. If baby doesn't sleep don't sweat it. Soon you will both get it

Relaxing and being less frantic helps.

Then start getting baby to sleep sooner than you are. An over tired baby is much more difficult to get to sleep so the process feed harder and baby more over tired... and so the cycle continues.

At 8 weeks old awake time may pretty much entirely be taken by feeding. For example:

• wake
• full feed (say about 15 minutes)
• wind (about 5 mins)
• floor time for a kick (5 or 10 minutes? Until child gets grumpy)
• Nappy check
• Second feed (the rest of the bottle or another offer of breast to make sure full - maybe 5 minutes?)
• swaddle/wind/cuddle (5 or 10 minutes) until drowsy
• sleep

That's 40 minutes awake time. But actually only 5 or 10 minutes "play time".

Are you breastfeeding? Only cos I remember a midwife saying to me that babies sometimes settle with others better than mum because they can smell your milk? I know that's not much practical help but it might make you feel better if it does apply to you!

Yes she can probably smell your milk.

Second the smell your milk. I had this problem and it hugely improved from about 8-10 weeks so hang on in there!

See it happens at night to when the lights are out and we are not playing and I'm not even talking to her....

I don't feel frantic but perhaps I am subconsciously

Dont know the answer but we've noticed ds often settles just after we "swap" when he's riled up. So must be he can sense a subconscious tension when he cies.

Are you breastfeeding?

Will baby settle on the breast with you?

Have you tried loud white noise? For me, combined with a dark room (or snooze shield if out and about) and dummy, it has made a huge difference.

We tried a Ewan the dream sheep which didn't work.
I stopped breastfeeding at 6 weeks. She's now solely on formula.

It's got to the point where my husband does the last feed at 10.30/11pm as he can get her down by 11.30pm I do night wake ups etc.

When I was breastfeeding I could settle her as she would fall asleep in the breast

USE WHITE NOISE! Life changing! X