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Sleep

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Original poster

If you bed-shared with your baby, why/when/how did you stop?

21 replies

Imps9 · 27/12/2016 07:29

Just interested to hear your experiences. I'm currently bed-sharing with my 9 week old and love it, but am thinking about future sleeping plans/arrangements.

Thanks in advance!

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Manumission · 27/12/2016 07:36

When another baby came along.

Then, eventually when the last "baby" got quite kicky/thrashy at about 18 months

Manumission · 27/12/2016 07:37

I made the transitions in mid-late pregnancy, BTW -didn't just flagrantly displace with a sibling

KookSpook · 27/12/2016 07:38

I'll get back to you on that one.

Mrsbadger77 · 27/12/2016 07:41

I'm also currently sharing my bed with my 9 week old. I love it as well but don't plan on doing it past 6 months. I plan on settling her in her cot in her room at that age and am prepared for crying!

Original poster

Imps9 · 27/12/2016 07:50

Kook how do you manage bedtimes? At the moment I go to bed at the same time as DS - around 8.30/9pm. But while I think I'll be quite happy to have him in my bed until he's older, at some point he'll need to go to bed earlier and I won't want to do the same.

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Original poster

Imps9 · 27/12/2016 07:51

How did you make the transition Manumission?

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KookSpook · 27/12/2016 07:57

I did try once or twice to let her settle & to be honest and it was bloody awful. DD was hysterical & I ended up crying.

Just a hold of her hand used to make her smile.

She always wanted to be near me/on my shoulder/in a sling.

Someone said I was the centre of her universe & I suppose thats so true.
So here we are years later & still cosleeping.

She does go in her room occasionaly.

I never thought time would go so quick, I miss her when Im at work, I miss her when shes at Nursery. Even though her non stop chatter drives me insane

I will miss her when shes a big girl, off to Uni, I will worry every second.

All this cosleeping business has Im sure contributed to the fact that she is the most confident & independant little girl.

I just went with it & its fine.

Manumission · 27/12/2016 07:58

Bought enticing bedding in line with whatever the liked at the time. Then left it there made up and unused for a month or so, mentioning from time to time that that would be their "big boy/girl bed" when they were a big enough boy/girl to have their own. Teddy and dragon napped in it during the day.

Just built toddler-side demand. Potty tactics, really

One had the cot bed in my room for a year anyway. Then those oldest two both went into their own room together at the same time #2 got a cotbed.

Manumission · 27/12/2016 08:00

I realise that will all be a bit lost on a 9 week old, but you won't end up sharing with a 5 he old unless you especially want to

SofiaAmes · 27/12/2016 08:00

Co-slept with ds until 6 months and that was pretty much it. Co-slept with dd until 3 months (at which point I kicked her out because she was such a noisy restless pain) but now at 14 years she sleeps in my bed 3 or 4 nights a week. Just depends on the kid, their needs and your limits. Do what works for you.

Original poster

Imps9 · 27/12/2016 08:13

That's why I love sharing the bed with DS Kook - I love how happy he is being next to me!

What time do you go to bed though, and what time does DD go to bed? This is my only worry with bed-sharing - I don't want to have to always go to bed at the same time as DS. At some point I'm keen on spending an evening or two with DP!

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Original poster

Imps9 · 27/12/2016 08:14

Sofia your 14 year old sleeps in your bed?

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AverageJosephine · 27/12/2016 08:17

6-7 months with all 3 of my babies.

Co-sleeping is great till 6 months and then they become too aware and alert and you start to disturb each other in my experience. Also at around this time there is a golden opportunity to move them out as they don't have quite enough awareness at this point to complain or be upset at the change.

All three babies are very different sleepers and characters but incredibly they all went from 5-10 wake ups a night while co-sleeping to 0 wakes from the first night in their own rooms. I believe it was because having me beside them woke them up.

But it was excellent co-sleeping when they were younger and we got more sleep by doing it then.

GreenRedBlue · 27/12/2016 08:27

I co-slept with my DS until about 6months. I started a bedtime routine with him around 12 weeks and would feed him then put him down with the monitor on and go back downstairs. When we came up to bed, I or DH would give him his dream feed then he'd happily settle back down for the night. It was lovely being able to just roll over and breastfeed him in the night and he seemed so content in our bed.

To transition him I started putting him down for naps in his cot in his own room until he got used to that. Then put him down for bed from 7pm until his dream feed in the cot then would bring him in with us when we went to bed. So by the time he spent the whole night in his room it wasn't anything new. Good luck and enjoy this time!!

KookSpook · 27/12/2016 08:32

DD goes about 7pm. Sometimes she has a story. If shes mucking about downstairs then no story.

When she was a lot younger, I used to lay on the bed with her until she fell asleep.

Now, I tell her Im going downstairs to tidy/make packed lunches etc.

Or I go and have a shower & dry my hair.

If shes being a little monkey telling me what to do I politely tell her, that shes welcome to go in her room.

I wont have toys in my room either. I am quite good at sticking to the rules. If shes non stop talking, I tell her I will carry her in to her room.
Last night I had to, she cried for less than a minute then fell asleep.

I go to bed anytime between 8-10pm & watch t.v. In the summer I will be up later.

LuchiMangsho · 27/12/2016 08:36

I co slept for a year while I breastfed as I was back at work. At a year we very gently transitioned him to a cot at the end of our bed. For reasons of space he stayed there till he was 3 and then moved straight into his own room and single bed. For that transition he chose his own bedding, his room decor and arranged things how he wanted it. It was done with minimum fuss.

LuchiMangsho · 27/12/2016 08:38

Oh and we have always had a night routine, from week 3 and we still do. It then was: a massage in dim light, a warm bath, breastfeed with a story and go to sleep. Now it is, go upstairs for a shower or bath, brush your teeth, stories with one of us, then stories by himself and then lights off.

ToneDeafHamster · 27/12/2016 09:09

I am still bed sharing with my 2.5 year old. I have no idea when she will go into her own room, just going to play it by ear really. Although I will miss her terribly when she does!

We gradually worked up to putting her to bed by herself. Now either myself or DH will put her to bed, read stories, lights dimmed and then stay with her until she falls asleep.

JerryFerry · 27/12/2016 09:17

8 years and still in there...

Pluto30 · 27/12/2016 09:25

Around 6-7 months with my first. None of us were getting decent sleep. Honestly, I don't think I'd had a decent night's sleep since he was born even when he slept, because I was constantly aware of his presence there, and I'd be constantly checking on him and any little noise he made would have me wide-eyed and alert. Moved him to his own room at that time when, fortunately, he was none the wiser. He slept like a champ ever since, and we finally started to get a decent sleep during the night too. I also found he no longer woke for night feeds when I was no longer beside him (something common among my mum friends - when the baby senses you're there, they wake more frequently).

I didn't co-sleep with my other two for this reason. Both were in their own bed, in their own room, from the day they were brought home from the hospital. DS2 was a bit of a pukey baby so woke quite a bit for the first 4-ish months until he started eating solids, but DD slept through the night from 8 weeks no problems.

Carollocking · 27/12/2016 09:35

I never removed any mine as a set thing and bar my 7 year old who's the one with behaviour problems the other 2 still often will sleep with me,bit difficult with my 7 year old though,i am always there for them so if need me all is fine,if don't fine too,if my 7 year old need me I go to be with her

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