No full nights sleep for 5 years

[LostMe]

Help. Have 5yr old DD and 2.5yr old DS and have had very few (and I mean VERY few) full night sleep in the past 5 years. Both go to bed really well, but DD usually wakes at least once during the night - not for any particular reason it would seem, and DS tends to wake from 5am onwards and will not go back to sleep. I feel if I could just have a run of full nights sleep (and get them to sleep past 6am) I could cope! Any suggestions? Am starting to loose the plot....

Sorry, no words of advice, only empathy. My dd(12) was almost 5 when she finally slept throught the night and ds(9) has always been an early riser, he used to start his day and mine from 4.30 onwards, he's still an early riser sometimes up at 5.30, but is on strict instructions at weekends not to disturb me until after 8.30. I leave him breakfast out, a bowl of cereal, he adds the milk and he entertains himself with dvd's & xbox. As for dd I now have to prise her out of bed.

How do you manage - some days I feel like I can't function but have to keep going as I have no choice! Poor DH gets short shrift too!

My god, you must be absolutely exhausted! Poor you. You have GOT to do some controlled crying and get them to sleep. 5yo is old enough for a star chart so I think I'd try that with her and 2.5yo I'd suggest a) making sure he is worn out beyond belief during the day b) has a consistent routine c) knows that he is to GO BACK TO SLEEP if he wakes in the night

AS Christopher Green (I think it was him, author of Toddler Taming) says "as an adult if you wake up in the night thirsty you don't poke your husband and say OI get up, get me a drink" do you and children need to learn the same.

If you can get someone else to have them for 2 nights though I'd go away for the weekend with your dh if you have one, get some decent sleep, agree your strategy jointly and promise to stick to it 100%. Tell the children this when you get back and then execute, witout backing down ONCE. You will crack it but bloody hell, you probably need a break first in order to get your strength together to do it.

Much sympathy, dd didn't sleep for 1.5 years and it nearly killed is.

LostMe, I don't think I did cope, I had probably 8 years of not having a decent night's sleep. I used to go to bed early & get up very early, dc's dad was useless(probably part of the reason we're now divorced!) I had a permanant headache and lived off paracetamol. I used to sleep when ds had afternoon nap. I have to say now it's a distant memory but at the time lack of sleep was absolutely horrendous. I have the greatest sympathy for you. It might be worth you speaking with your health visitor. Is there anybody that can have your children for a night and do you & your partner share the early mornings. It would have helped me if mine had let me have an occaisional lie in.

Thanks WWW. They seem to have this telepathic link so if one sleeps through the other wakes and the next night they will swap over! The 2.5yr old generally sleeps through but rises so early - even if he is exhausted/has no nap in the day - makes no difference what so ever. 5yr old was up twice last night - 12.30 & 2.30 am! Was greeted by very cross mummy! Will try your idea of star chart as think it might work with her - thanks. Will also have to sweet talk grandparents into having them for a night or two

Turn into the mummy from hell at night - growl at them and tell them not to dare wake you up unless they're ill!
Sorry - sleep deprivation isn't funny, is it?
Hopefully dd is old enough to understand that she needs to be more considerate and not wake you up.

Thanks Brightwell. DH and I try and have alternate lie-ins on weekend which goes some way to helping. But DH rarely gets up in the night - I think I am too soft but he does work long hours - not often home until between 8-10pm so I sort of think it's easier to do it myself than have all the grief and moaning from him getting up in the night! On the rare occasion that he does get up in the night he usually makes enough noise to wake the whole house anyway and always makes sure that I know he's got up!

Ha, ha mummy from hell is easy to do! Feel like that most of the time anyway!

When mine used to wake me I'd slop around the house in my dressing gown the next day and refuse to play with them as I was so tired because they'd woken me up!