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Sleep

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Original poster

4 month old baby still not sleeping through night/more than 2 hours!

16 replies

dadonbehalfofmum · 15/12/2016 11:15

Morning all:

This is my first post onto mumsnet.... I confess, I'm posting on behalf of my wife - we're both at a bit of a loss in terms of our baby's sleeping pattern - or lack thereof!

People told us that sleeping would get better by 3 months - if anything it's got a lot worse.

Our baby has a relatively set routine - between 19:00 - 20:00 we'll go upstairs and have a bath (either with me in the bath or on his own in a baby bath) and we'll then get him ready for bed and my wife will feed him at this point). We'll put him down in the cot.... He'll either (a) sleep for around an hour or (b) not sleep at all.

Generally at the moment he's only going to sleep with my wife feeding him. I'm aware there's issues at play here in respect to 'sleep association' but how do we break the habit? As we're both shattered, he's - more often than not - sleeping in the bed with us.... This is probably a bad habit that we've gotten into.

He's exclusively breast fed too.... Not sure if anyone has any tips?

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

ZeroDarkHurty · 15/12/2016 11:25

It's completely normal and natural for a 4 month old to not sleep through the night or for more than a few hours at a stretch. Indeed, many babies who have previously slept well also have a sleep regression around this age as they go through some development leaps. Feeding to sleep can cause a sleep association (both my son's had it until they were well over 6 months) but is also pretty effective! You can break the habit by replacing it with something like patting on the tummy, but there's no guarantee the baby will cooperate at this age and won't just cry. Does the baby have a regular day routine? Are they getting enough naps? Too little day sleep can sometimes mess up night sleep, just as too much day sleep can. If it's any consolation, our two children both woke and fed at night until they were over one year old and many of my friends experienced the same. Some babies just learn how to sleep easily, others need more time and encouragement. At 4 months I'd experiment with patting and shhhh-ing to get to sleep but would probably just ride it out a while longer before doing anything more if the day routine is going well and the baby is getting enough day sleep.

Daytona79 · 15/12/2016 11:37

My Son is 2 and still never sort for more than 3 hours

At that age he would wake 45 minutes day or night until about 10 months where he started sleep for up to 3 hours.

NerrSnerr · 15/12/2016 11:42

My daughter was still like this at that age. We didn't do 'bedtime' until after 6 months as we followed the SIDS guidelines so had her with us, she spent the evenings feeding and dozing and then came up with us at about 10-11pm. If I was particularly tired I would feed her about 8 and go to bed for a sleep and my husband would bring her up for her next feed so I got a bit of space. It gradually got easier at about 6-7 months but she has never been a brilliant sleeper. (She's 2 now and does sleep through but takes forever to get to sleep)

Choccyhobnob · 15/12/2016 16:12

Errm I hate to say it but at 15 months my DS still wakes around every 3 hours. 4-5 months there is a developmental leap and even good sleepers usually go a bit haywire. 3-5 months was actually the worst for us and I couldn't put him down. He'd wake up and cry the second I did. I held him all night sitting up for 2 months.

It does get better though. Even though ds still sleeps in bed with me and feeds 3-4 times a night it is a hell of a lot better than it was!

Original poster

dadonbehalfofmum · 15/12/2016 16:14

So what's the options then? Other than putting up with it? Has anyone used a strategy where this works? Mum intends to go back to work FT from next August and hoped to get it cracked by then,...

OP posts:

ScoobyDoosTinklyLaugh · 15/12/2016 16:22

Not a lot I'm afraid.

Babies just aren't very co operative sometimes. My daughters only just fallen into a reliable sleep routine in the past couple of months and she 14 months now. She even sleeps in her own bed now (for half the night!). She's formula fed aswell - I was very disappointed as I thought the chemical laden milk was supposed to make them sleep for longer periods Before that we just had her in our bed and split the night shift so 10-2 I'd sort her out and 2-6 my DP would. Every few days one of us would allow the other a luxury full nights sleep if we were struggling. It does get better with time.

Sorting the daytime sleeping definitely helped the nighttime sleeping for us. If they go to nursery when your wife goes back to work that'll put him in a really good day routine.

Good luck!

Hellmouth · 15/12/2016 16:23

Next August?

You have looooads of time! Chances are, sleep will improve, but you're asking a lot of a young baby.

Saying that, my 5 month old sleeps mostly through the night now. for example, 11pm - 8am today, then he had a feed (he's FF) then he went to sleep again until nearly 11. I think being FF has helped us, though, as I have read that FF babies, on average, will start sleeping for longer from earlier.

Aside from that, what worked for us was

Being noisy during the day
Dimming the lights and talking in muted tones at night
Swaddling at first, then getting him a sleeping bag.
A soothing nightlight which changes colours; he tends to stare at it until he falls asleep.
If he is finding it difficult to sleep, like when he was teething, I hold him with his head resting on my shoulder and , whilst sitting on the sofa, gently rock back and forth until he is very sleepy or falls asleep
Luck

CelticPromise · 15/12/2016 16:27

Co sleeping can help you through the tough times. Four months is a well known difficult phase for many babies. August is a long way off. This too shall pass.

Lookinatu · 15/12/2016 16:27

I have heard this is common for breast fed babies. My hv has said breast milk is digested quicker so sometimes you get more awake periods in the night. What is your routine like?

FATEdestiny · 15/12/2016 16:42

So what's the options then? Other than putting up with it? Has anyone used a strategy where this works?

● Adjust your expectations, yours are/were unrealistic.
● Baby will need comfort to sleep. Sucking is a great source of comfort. Perserveer to get a dumny accepted. Then baby can suck to settle without being attached to a nipple
● Bedtimes are for older babies. Until 6 months baby should nap through your daytime (ie 7am-11pm, or whatever), going to bed only when you do. This is SIDS recommendations.
● Short daytime naps are normal at this age. The 7-8pm sleep is a nap. You are wasting your time trying to call this nighttime for baby. It isn't. Just have baby downstairs and feed/nap on and off until you go to bed.
● make those short daytime naps frequent. Awake time of 40-80m (depending on age)
● when naps naturally lengthen- that's time for a proper bedtime. You are trying to run before you can walk in terms of baby's sleep. You're not there yet.

mimiholls · 15/12/2016 16:48

Is he settling back when he wakes in the night? Is he just waking to feed? Ideally you need to get him to settle himself so putting him in the crib awake and just stating with him patting/shushing at first till he goes to sleep. 4 months is still pretty young to be expecting this though. In theory if he starts being able to do this he will be able to settle himself back as he wakes during the night unless he is genuinely hungry, dirty etc. It's still early days and you have a lot of time till August!

Purplebluebird · 15/12/2016 16:51

This sounds completely normal. We decided to keep our son in bed with us, I would feed him whilst lying down in the night. This is very normal for a breastfed baby.

There isn't a lot you can do, but rest assured - by August it is most likely a very different scenario!

PotteringAlong · 15/12/2016 16:55

Your baby is 4 months old! You have completely unrealistic expectations of a 4 month old and, as August is 9 months away, I wouldn't worry about now!

Everything you've described is completely normal.

PotteringAlong · 15/12/2016 16:56

And yes, sleeping getting worse also normal. Google the 4 month sleep regression...!

Bodypumpaddict · 15/12/2016 16:59

Keep going - everything you're saying is totally normal, especially for breastfed babies.

One tip that our little one enjoyed abd that helped her start to settle on her own was a Ewan the Sheep, which plays white noise.

So much will have changed by August so don't worry

Bertieboo1 · 15/12/2016 17:18

We didn't start putting the baby down upstairs tip after 6 months, mostly had them sleeping on us til then. After 6 months we started putting them down sleepy but awake and they learnt to fall asleep on their own.

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