2 year old will not sleep in own bed or room

[grinchyxmcgrinch]

2 year old has decided she no longer wants to sleep in her own room. She will scream and cry relentlessly un til DH gives in and brings her in to our room. She will go on for anywhere up to 3 hours! Have tried gradual retreat, CIO, laying with her until she sleeps, read stories, bath before bed. Nothing works!
Help?!?!

Does she settle when she's in with you? If so, take that option just now. She's likely feeling anxious/scared about something, and that way you can all get some sleep.

If she doesn't settle, have a look at her sleep pattern if she's still napping during the day

Soon as DH brings her in with us she is asleep almost instantly and will sleep through the whole night. Try and settle her in her own room and she will scream and cry. If we move to her room after falling asleep in ours she will last an hour or so then wake crying again.

If you want sleep (assuming you can sleep while she's in with you) then I would just let her be close to you if that's what she is needing.

The main problem with her sleeping with us is we then have to go to bed at the same time as her, leaving all the jobs I can't do with her around not done, and we don't have any time to just be us and not mum and dad.

Can't you get her to sleep in your bed then sneak out - that's what I do!

I'm always a bit worried she will roll out of the bed (it's quite high up) and land on the laminate flooring and hurt herself. She's a bit of a fidget if I'm honest

We just put pillows around my DD if she is asleep in our bed and we're not ready for bed. Or we've got s bed bumper from her toddler bed we can put under the sheet to stop her rolling out

DD is now four. She struggles to go to sleep without one of us there. To make that easy for all of us, we've put two mattresses on the floor in her room, and made them into a superking bed - no problem if she rolls off. Could you do that in your room (we have a wooden bed frame we can take apart)? Or stick a pool noodle under the edge of the sheet - this gives you the idea (you could take it out when you go to bed!): andyspandy.blogspot.co.uk/2010/09/cheap-and-easy-travel-bed-rail.html

When you put her in your bed, do you lie down with her and cuddle up?

The move from that to going to sleep in the cot, even with you there, might be too greater difference for her to cope with. I would make that change gradually.

That involves continue to let her sleep in your bed, without that being a 'last resort'. For a few days cuddle close as she goes to sleep, then lean out of the cuddle as settled.

Then for a few days do the 'lean out' cuddle after the initial nan night cuddle, right through until asleep.

Then aim to roll away from her as she goes to sleep.

Then aim to be sat (not lying down) on the bed as she goes to sleep. Then stood. Once you get to this point she will be more used to your reassurance being at a distance, so you can then move back to the cot. It might mean a few steps backwards as she relearns to settle in the cot (Maybe start of leaning into the cot patting at first) but you can gradually withdraw from this too.