Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Sleep

Join our Sleep forum for tips on creating a sleep routine for your baby or toddler. Need more advice on your childs development? Sign up to our Ages and Stages newsletter here.

15 months and no sleep for anyone. Please help

11 replies

JonesMalone · 14/12/2016 11:18

Hi everyone,
I'm feeling pretty desperate at the moment so any advice anyone can give me will be welcomed.
My son will be 15 months at the end of December and he hasn't slept properly since around his first birthday. Before that he was going to bed at his normal hour, waking somewhere between 11 and 2 and then again at about 5 or 6 then up for the day at 7.
Come his first birthday he started waking frequently at night. At first I thought it was just a phase and it would be over soon but it's going on three months now and it seems to be getting worse.
He'll go down at night fine, sleep until about 11ish and after that I have a terrible time getting him back in his cot. He tends to wake up when I put him down or shortly after (like, just as I get comfy in bed again). If I continue to put him in his cot he does this all night. I've started bringing him in bed with me (mainly because I've just been falling asleep accidentally) but he doesn't sleep then either. He wakes up whinging and kicking his legs ALL NIGHT LONG.
Last night was the worst yet. I couldn't put him down in his cot from the beginning. Every time I moved a muscle he'd wake up whinging. I brought him in to bed because otherwise I wasn't going to get any sleep and he just kept whinging all night long. It's almost as if he's annoyed about something- like an angry whinging.
I'm still nursing him before bed and after I get home from work. He seems to be dropping the morning session. He doesn't seem to want to nurse when he's waking at night either- just wants to be held (even better if I'm walking around). Increasingly he's not nursing himself to sleep at night anymore either, preferring to lay his head on my belly to fall asleep.
I read about an 18 month sleep regression but since this has been happening since he was about 12 months I think 5 months early is a bit much.
He's been cutting molars- one has fully broken through but they only seem to bother him occasionally during the day and even on the nights when I've loaded him up with medicine it doesn't make a noticeable difference.
Our nightly routine has been the same since he was a baby and he goes to bed the same time every night.
My husband and I have been arguing about this and this morning I was in tears before work. He blames me for bringing him in to bed (understandable) but DS isn't sleeping either way- it's just hubby suffers less (though I suffer more) when I'm trying to put him in his cot all night.
I just don't know what to do anymore. I don't want to leave him to cry and I don't mind him waking up during the night but waking constantly is too much to handle.
DS is cranky and cries in the mornings (I assume because he's tired) but is fine the rest of the day. He usually naps well- depending on whether he's at home or in nursery between 45 minutes twice a day or 2- 2 1/2 hours once a day. Gets a bit clingy in the evenings but always has.
Please help. Hubby wants to 'talk' about the situation this evening and I want to go in armed with some idea as to why he might be having such a hard time at night and some options as to what we can do going forward.

OP posts:
FATEdestiny · 14/12/2016 11:48

It sounds like he needs your presence in order to feel comforted and reassured enough to sleep.

I'd bring the cot back into my bedroom if I were in your position. Perhaps even side-car the cot to the bed (by removing one side) as in interim between cosleeping and baby in the cot.

JonesMalone · 14/12/2016 12:00

Hi FATEdestiny,
Thanks for the advice. Unfortunately I think moving the cot back in to the bedroom is out of the question. It used to be at the bottom of our bed and I think he'd want to be closer and there just isn't room beside the bed.
I'd love a co-sleeper but haven't found one (used) for under £100. I do think that when he comes in to our bed he gets uncomfortable.
I was thinking of turning his cot bed in to a bed. That way I could lay with him and theoretically slide away once he's asleep which I think might be easier than trying to put him in his cot. I just don't know if he's too young.
Also, last night he calmed down when I was holding him quite tightly. Would swaddling him be bad at his age?

OP posts:
LeopardPrintSocks1 · 14/12/2016 12:11

Sounds like teething to me, which you said he is cutting molars. Have you given him painkiller before bed?

JonesMalone · 14/12/2016 12:17

Hi Leopardprint Socks,
I have given him painkillers before bed and during the night but it doesn't make a noticeable difference.

OP posts:
LeopardPrintSocks1 · 14/12/2016 12:34

That sucks. To be honest my dd is 11 months and acts exactly the same - whines in bed every hour then I bring her in with me and she kicks and rolls around and still whines. I'm a zombie. Here's some Wine as I sympathise

JonesMalone · 14/12/2016 12:40

Thanks, I need it!
Though I'm sure I'd fall asleep halfway through my glass lol.

I might try sleeping in his room tonight. There is a day bed in there. Then my husband won't be disturbed and since it's harder for both of us to sleep there maybe I can work on making sure he's in his cot. I don't work tomorrow so I'm more up to working on it.

OP posts:
Auntycoops · 14/12/2016 12:45

My dd is the same. Some nights she sleeps through but others just seems to be distraught for no particular reason. Last night she woke at 1 and did not go back to sleep til 4!! And that's with me in the bed.

Obviously I don't have the magic answer (see above!!!) however I have my own theory that at this age (dd is 16 months) they are really starting to crave more independence. They have control over so few things (food and sleep mainly) that they use these things to assert their independence.

I know it is so hard but I am trying to go with the flow and try and look at the positive, that It is all part of normal development. I also love my dds stubborn assertive personality, so think of this is part of that.

Also please remember that this (as with most things with babies/toddlers) is a phase and will end. This too shall pass!!

Auntycoops · 14/12/2016 12:47

Also forgotFlowersCakeWineBrew for you! I do feel your pain!!

JonesMalone · 14/12/2016 12:51

Haha thanks Auntycoops,
I certainly did have that view two months ago.
Now I'm just wondering when it will pass... or when it'll improve at least.

I hope you can get some rest soon too!

OP posts:
FATEdestiny · 14/12/2016 13:35

I'd love a co-sleeper...

You can remove the side off any, normal cot bed. They are designed for the sides to be removable and the whole thing still be stable. You just only remove one side, not both.

Therefore you can do it with his cot now, if you liked. I'd move furniture (bedside tables, drawers, dressing table) out of my room to fit the cot next to my bed, if I needed to.

I suspect moving an already poor sleeper out of the cot bars and into a toddler bed will create far more problems than it solves.

But if you want to go this route I'd suggest setting up some form of perminant floor bed for parent and child to sleep on in his room. It will end up being no different to cosleeping, just in a less comfortable bed than your own bed.

last night he calmed down when I was holding him quite tightly. Would swaddling him be bad at his age?

That's interesting. Was he swaddled as a newborn?

It's not unusual to need to still and calm baby. To effectively have to pin them down (gently, of course) to help them learn to be still to go to sleep. Especially when learning all the mobility skills (crawling, standing, walking), it's like baby didn't know how to stop and calm in order to sleep.

Maybe a tightly tucked in blanket will help? Putting a sheet across-ways (rather than lengthways) to tuck all the way under the mattress so it's very tight and snug.

Firm hands on him is good for this too. It provides reassurance that you are close, while also encouraging stillness.

JonesMalone · 14/12/2016 14:28

FATEdestiny,
There is literally no room beside our bed. It's a pretty small room Smile
I see what you say about the cot. Making it in to a bed might not be the best idea.
I've got a few ideas for tonight I guess. I'm home from work now and giving him a cuddle in case it's that that is bothering him.
Wish me luck Grin

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread