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Help!!! 3 1/2 year old terrible sleep problems.

3 replies

MummyAlltam · 13/12/2016 21:19

Im sorry for the length of this, i just want to supply some back story.

My 3 1/2 dd has never really slept through the night regularly. She doesnt nap in the day as she is at nursery from 12.30-3.30. She may nap if we are in the car after nursery, but thats maybe once a month. Our bed time routine is Approx 7pm we clean up/bath, teeth, pjs and into bed where we will have a story, 2 lullabies she sings one to me and i to her, i turn down her light to a night light level, turn on her musical toy (that has a self timer) say good night then leave, she sleeps with a stuffed panda inventively named "Panda" and a small bottle of milk. Most nights she stays and falls asleep pretty easily. The problems are in the night and keeping her asleep. She may wake up to go to the toilet, she is fully toilet trained and has never had a wet night, but she keeps waking and she doesn't say what the problem is, she may come in to our room and try to creep in to our bed. There are times where dh is out over night at work (maybe once or twice a month) and dd climbs in to his side and i don't notice until morning (very big bed lol), we try not to encourage co-sleeping. When she does wake there may be a few wimpers which will develp into loud cries or full loud cries to start off with or even nothing and she'll just appear next to our bed. We have a 6month old ds who sleeps in our room who thankfully sleeps through, but dd sometimes wakes ds so then there are two to get back to sleep. i dont think ds is to be part of the problem.

Basically dd is waking 3-6 times a night mostly without reason. Her bed time is 7.30-8 and she wake up 5.30-6.30.
How to I get her to stop waking up? Is there anything wrong with the routine? are there any incentives that might work? has anyone had the same problem? also any tricks on getting her to sleep till later? do the light clocks that change colour in the mornings help?

OP posts:
FATEdestiny · 13/12/2016 21:36

Nothing I can see wrong there. I would do rapid return.

It means being relentless in returning her to bed immediately she gets up. She gets up, you take her back, have a mantra you say: "bedtime now. You lie in your bed quietly at bedtime. Nan night" and leave.

Any time she makes a noise, back in, lie her down, say the mantra, leave. Repeat repeat repeat until she accept a that no other alternate is available to get.

Likewise getting up. Make sure you find a way to not let her sneekily get up. Baby monitor, bells on her bedroom door, stair gate at her bedroom door, bells on your door. Whatever method you use - you need to be aware every time she wakes and be prepared to get up and deal with her immediately (not after 5 more minutes snoozing)

The key is consistancy. She needs to know she'll get the same outcome and the same response from you every single time she does anything other than lying in bed quietly at bedtime.

It will be hard work on you initially, but shouldn't take more than a few weeks until she gets it.

Highlove · 14/12/2016 19:07

Any chance she is just very overtired? My nearly three year old is far worse at night when tired - will wake constantly for no reason. Looks like your DD is only getting 9-10 hours in every 24, even discounting all the wakes. Have a Google for how long she should be getting - more like 12-13 I think, though an not an expert! Maybe bring bedtime forward if a nap isn't doable? 6-6.30?

Highlove · 14/12/2016 19:10

NHS says 11.30-12 hours at night plus 0-45 mins during the day at age 3. Might be tricky but if try and get more sleep into her to see if that helps any. Got to be worth a try!

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