Controled crying with a 2yr old?

[bellarosa]

Has anyone tried it?

My DD1 is two and she still wakes every night at least 4 times. I used cc when she was 1 yr old, and it worked , but she got ill and had a long recovery, then DD2 came along and DD1 hasn't really ever slept a whole night since.

I havent dared try cc with her as she can get out of her bed and has just worked out how to open her door!

Any ideas? am feeling rather desperate at the thought of this continuing for months or years!

DD2 has slept through from 4 weeks!

what do you do when she gets up?

We have got into a TERRIBLE habit of picking her up, cuddling her, or rather DH has. She just wont go back to sleep unless you are there with her.

only with a 2 yr old, I think you should at least TRY the other options because they do usually understand (eventually).

have you tried just putting her back to bed instead of cuddling (and then doing it again, and agin...). she'll probably get the idea quicker than if you leave her to cry. you know how they can make themselves hysterical.

you can also try sititng with her while she falls asleep, but moving further away each time until you are at the door.

I had this but find it unbearable to leave ds to cry. I tried the return to bed with no chat/cuddle etc and although he did get a bit better it didnt cure it and it was so draining. A 2 year olds hysteria in the middle of the night is just hideous isnt it.

In the end I used to sit on his bed at bedtime and chat about our day, all the things he did that meant he a big boy, that big boys went to sleep on their own and didnt call their mummys in the night- you get the picture. I then told him I was going and slowly left the room. He did get up a few times but I just firmly repeated that he didnt need me, good boy, big boy etc etc and carried him back to bed.

At the same time I used a sticker chart in the morning and it really really worked. He is now sleeping better than he ever did.

It worked for me, and I think sometimes you have to tailor well known methods like rapid return to suit yourself and your child.

Thanks senora, the main problem is a conflict between me and DH over how to handle her, he is much more protective over her than me when it comes to the sleep problem. I see it that she is really not happy waking up all night and she is exhausted in the day and generally it is effecting her overall happiness and behaviour.
DH only sees her in the evenings.
I will try to get DH on my side as to making a sleep stratergy and stick with it, the things that i have tried in the past he has sabotaged! like the just sitting in her room, not talking to her, cc etc

Kezzag thats great for you well done!
I am glad ther are others out ther who understand the hell of a 2yr old tantruming at 4am!
i will try the sticker reward chart, as she loves stickers.
And other tactics too! thanks

Why not just get your DH to deal with ALL her night-wakings?

because he just makes it worse, she wakes up more and more often because she associates sleep with daddy cuddling and fussing over her. Then after getting up with her for the 5th time he'll bring her in to our bed.

so basically we need to cut out alot of unhelpful sleep associations.

any ideas?!!

Morningpaper, i have seen you round about on MN and always read your name as Morningaper! Sorry!

My gynaecologist might agree

lol!

the name did make me think!

bellarosa, have you tried anything yet? I have the Ni-Cry sleep solution for toddlers and preschooler by Elizabeth Pantley. I forgot I ordered it and then ds got loads better so I have never even opened it. If you think you and your dh might get some use out of it I will happily send it on to you for cost of p&p.

NO cry obviously!

Hi kezzaG,
i'll have a look on amazon at what it says about the no-cry method, i'm willing to try ANYTHING! and i'd be happy to give you whatever ££ for it.

Have moved her into another bedroom as hers was at the back of the house and you could hear all the house noises from there, also she cant open the door of the new room, so at least she'll be contained!

thanks everyone for your thoughts

We are trying gradual retreat...
sometimes the twins settle well at 7pm ish... sometimes not. We have to sit outside the door or lie in on a matress on the floor to settle them. Other times they are fine.
BUT then if they wake in the night (usually I think it is when they are poorly) they won't sleep unless we lie on the floor.
As soon as we are there they are silent.

The grad retreat worked last time they were poorly.

The best thing we have used (and it has given us about 3 weeks of sleep -with an odd night of waking here and there.. but nothing much) is stickers in the morning, on a sticker chart on the outside of their door.

A great book is "teach your child to sleep"
can't remember who it's by but I will look it up and post it on here.
Very good. It has flow charts to help you diagnose the prob and to help sort it. it lets you find the one that will work for u.

Go for the Sleep fairy - bringing a gift if they sleep... or stickers. That's my top tip!
Hope this helps.