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I'm so tired I can't do it on my own any more I need help

14 replies

PrettyCandles · 16/02/2007 15:10

These woman like you know who an Tracey Hogg etc, who actually go into people's homes to help sort out the baby's sleep - where do they come from? How can I find one?

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Heathcliffscathy · 16/02/2007 15:12

pretty candles...there are maternity nurse type agencies that claim they can sort your sleep probs aren't there.

poor you.

swifterella · 16/02/2007 15:12

whats happening? are you getting none at all. how old is baby?

PrettyCandles · 16/02/2007 15:27

Ds2 is 4m and we've only got him into a feeding to sleep associaytion (yes yes I know). Th e only other way he goes to sleep is sready walking in the pram. But except for the first nap of the day, and often not even that, he doesn't stay asleep unlee threr's a boob or the pram is moving. But I've got 2 others to look after as well and can't always nap him this way. Unless I lie down with huim at bight it van take an hour or more to get him off, and hw still feeds 3-hourly round the clock - more frequently at night if I co-sleep and let him settle himseldf with the boob. And all this settling with the boob is creeping towards him eating more at night than in the day. I get a couple of 1 or 2-hour blocks of sleep at night, the rest is catnaps and sometimes we're up at 5.30am because ds2 is determined to start his day. And then getting the others readty and out for school is a mare because ds2 is screaming with exhaustyion and I'm at the end of my tether and wounnd up by it. Dh helps massiv4ely, but he is also so shattered that he snores all night and that keeps me awake even if ds2 dosen't. I've got a wobderful doula a few hours a week, and often get an hour's nasp in the pm while she collects ds1 from schopool, but she's got a new client having a c-section bext week, wjho wants her for the schhool run times. I keep trying to use the tips in books like Baby whisperrer and no Cry sleep SOlution, but I get so tired that I can't keep going and keep slipping back into gbad habiyts. I'm even ggeting insomniac ffom lack of sleep now! I can't go on this way.

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sar123 · 16/02/2007 15:30

my friend used these people. she works in the city and has loads of cash! but it looks like they have different options some more expensive than the others. Good luck
www.topnanny.com/sleepnannies.htm

Mumpbump · 16/02/2007 15:39

Have a look at this link if you're pulling your hair out. It's a modified form of controlled crying which you can use for babies under 6 mo. Don't know if it's your cup of tea, but it did work for us! I started off using it for day-time naps and once it was working reasonably well, then used it for night-time waking as well. It was working after a week and then we went on holiday and messed it up. When we got back, I wasn't so rigourous and it ended up taking just over a month in total...

controlled comforting

PrettyCandles · 16/02/2007 15:40

Thanks, sar123. Did she also use them for sorting out sleep probelms? Or generle nannnying and going back to orwk?

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PrettyCandles · 16/02/2007 15:46

I've looked at the link now, sar. Phew! it is expensive, but I think a nervous rekadown from me would be more expensive.

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tortoiseSHELL · 16/02/2007 15:53

PC - no advice I'm afraid, but I so know that feeling of tiredness - ds2 is 9 months and feeds 2,3,4 or 5 times a night - we've just put him in his own room, and the only result is that I have to get out of bed to go and get him to feed him. He won't settle without feeding, HV suggested controlled crying, but I hate the idea of that, and dh is too knackered to get up for him (he totally agrees he should, it's just when it comes to it I can't actually get him out of bed, or wake him up). It's paralysing I think, the tiredness - makes me incapable of doing anything!

PrettyCandles · 16/02/2007 15:55

I've tried that sort of thing, Mumbump, and it was taking anything from 5 to 30mins to settle him. If he wasn't asleep after 30mins we knew (rfom experience) that he wasn't goint to go to sleep - if he feeds every 3 hours and gets tired 1.5-2h after waking, then if he's been crying on and off for 30mins it would be too close to the next feed time and he would be too hungry to fall asloeeop.

In any case, try, as she suggests, schecduling " fairly free week to devote as much time and effort as possible to making the routine work" when you've got schoolruns and othe things to do with older children as well. I'm an experienced enough mum to recognise when the baby is getting tired, but damned if I can manage the rest of the family to be able to respond 5to or even pre-empt the tiredness a t the right time for him to dfall asleep easily.

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Dinosmum · 16/02/2007 16:00

Keep bumping for Aloha, she used a Sleep Lady to get her dd to settle.

sar123 · 17/02/2007 09:55

she used them for sleep problems - i think she went for the option where the sleep nanny came to stay with them for a couple of nights to sort out her ds who was i think seven or eight months at the time. it was apparently v. successful. can't remember exactly what was going on with him but i do know they were both knackered and have very demanding jobs so were desperate.

PrettyCandles · 17/02/2007 21:52

Aloha?

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PrettyCandles · 18/02/2007 18:06

Aloha?

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bristols · 18/02/2007 18:13

Bumping for Aloha - just saw her on another thread. hope you find something that works for you...

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