5 month old allergic to naps

[PontypandyPioneer]

Hi, I've posted here umpteen times about DS1 who refused naps, now time for DS2.

I must be doing something wrong to have had two babies who can't nap, and I feel awful about it.

DS2 is 21 weeks old. He will not nap unless he's being pushed outside in the pram - not possible to take him out 3 times a day with a 2 year old in tow.

We've tried:
A dummy
A muslin
Pushing in the pram in the house
White noise
A sling
Rocking in our arms
In bed in a dark room to simulate night time
Using a cot mobile to help soothe
Looking for sleep cues and put him down
Putting him down after bottle so he's definitely full
Putting him down before he's tired
Putting him down when he's too tired (last resort!)
Car not an option

Nothing works.

He's brilliant overnight, will wake once for milk then go back to sleep. He'll also settle himself quietly for his first nap of the day about 45 mins after waking so I don't understand how it goes so badly wrong for the rest of the day. He cries for hours as he won't nap.

Please help before I go out of my mind. I've coped with walking miles or driving for miles everyday with DS1 but it's just not viable with two of them.

Bouncy chair?

I've bought this one three times over. It's not made any more but the current one will be just the same:

Fisher-Price Woodsy Friends Baby Bouncer

I'd also perserveer with the dummy.

Here's what I'd do with baby+toddler:

Feed baby every 2 hours and ensure 1 nap in every 2 hours. So when it's time for baby's sleep:

• set up toys for toddler in lounge
• put our kids tv on
• make a cup of tea
• baby in bouncer (remove arch - don't use this at all to establish bouncer as a place to sleep). Me say on floor next to bouncer. Toddler playing / watching tv
• with one arm constantly bounce bouncer. I could lay my forearm a long side of bouncer and my hand holding dummy in for baby. Baby may grumble, just keep that dummy in and bounce through it.
• other hand free to help toddler if needed or drink tea. You can also chat with toddler as this is happening.
• just keep going. Be relentless. Trust your instincts. You know baby needs to sleep so bounce, bounce, bounce , dummy reinsert, bounce, bounce, bounce, dummy, dummy, bounce, bounce.... keep on going.

He like a movement to sleep (pushchair and car) so give him movement to sleep at home.

Thank you for your reply FATE. I've tried bouncy chair as well - you think I should persevere? Which way, e.g. cot, pram etc is best to keep trying in your opinion?

He's really not taking a dummy! Maybe I've left it too late as he's never had one before!
If he's in his pram he'll suck his sleeve for ages, eyes are closed but the crying doesn't stop - whether I'm pushing him or not. Yet today we were out and about and he dropped off nicely and quietly without any encouragement (no pushing, no prop) in his pram?! How?! Why can't he do that in the house?!

He's not bad at night time either - we've got a good little routine going on and he'll drop off after 5-10 mins of shuffling and whingeing but at least it's quiet whingeing. I just don't know why I can't do it for naps. DS1 was exactly the same which is why I think it's my fault and I'm doing something wrong.

If he does go to sleep he only sleeps for 30 mins too, which doesn't help his tiredness and doesn't help my sanity as there's yet more nap time battles as he gets tired even quicker.

I feel like I must be doing something terribly wrong as I've not managed to get either child to nap. It's really getting me down.

He's really not taking a dummy! Maybe I've left it too late as he's never had one before!

Ah. That's possibly the clincher. He sounds like a sucky baby (sleeve sucking) so I found the dummy the easiest and simplest way to encourage independant sleep without any crying.

It's not too late to introduce a dummy. It may take perserverence though.

Babies get comfort from sucking and it's comfort they need to sleep. Most of the other comfort methods require far more input from you. You could try feeding to slerp instead. You tend to need to let baby sleep in your arms that way though. Not useful when you have a toddler.

I aim for making sleep as easy as possible.

Sucking (dummy or feeding). Plus movement (bouncy chair or pushchair). Plus swaddle when little or tucked in blanket when older. Plus reasurace (patting, shushing, tickling). All done consistently, constantly and relentlessly until asleep.

Also keep naps very frequent and feed feed feed constantly through the daytime. Awake time (between one nap and the next) of about 60-90 minutes at this age.

Thank you so much for your advice FATE. I will start tomorrow positively and let you know how I get on. I have to crack this, I can't have another two years of nap battling!

Ponty- any improvement? My almost 4 month old is exactly the same- he only sleeps in the sling but not without crying and resisting first

Hi Cinnamon - hmmm...it's not too bad. First thing in a morning is fine, he'll easily settle for a short nap shortly after he wakes for the day. I'm trying to get in a bit of a routine where I put him down for a nap after a feed which is going ok. So usually 10.30ish but he'll only have 30-40 mins. Then he's been falling asleep after his 1pm bottle - yesterday he had 2 hours but today only an hour. Late afternoon nap is the worst, I had to take him out for a walk tonight when DH came in from work so he could look after DS1.

Yet he's gone to sleep tonight without a whimper, just popped him down and off he drifted after a bit of shuffling and blowing raspberries.

FATE was very helpful but he will not feed every two hours - he wants his whole bottle every three hours so I'm trying to muddle through!

I get nervous when I know he needs a nap as I know it's going to be a battle! At least he's not as bad as DS1 was. He's 2 yrs 2 months and has completely given up on naps. In a way I'm pleased as no more battles with him!

Sounds exactly the same as my ds- wakes about 7.30 and his first nap at 8.30 ish is easy (now the only one without crying)- my dp does this one and manages to put him down but without fail will wake 45 mins after. He's pretty happy after this one which is fine so we have a bit of playtime then it all goes wrong from there.
The last nap is horrendous and there's always tears. He refuses feeds if he's not hungry - the other day he fed every 4 hrs so sometimes feeding to sleep in not an option.

Sorry this is difficult for you too. I just feel like we're stuck in a rut and I can change or improve anything. Hope we both find our way out of this soon.

I hope so too! Although DS1 didn't ever grow out of it and I'm scared DS2 is going to do the same.

Today has been a bit of a funny day and he's only really slept in the car, and went mental for his last nap and ended up not having one argh!!

He fed to sleep tonight, DH put him down but 20 mins later he started screaming. I picked him up, gave him a cuddle for 5 mins, put him back down awake and happy and he's drifted off. I don't know if that's the key - awake and happy rather than him being in a state? Or whether the 20 mins nap after his bottle actually helped.

They certainly test us!