Need advice on sleep with 4 month old

[Ktnich89]

Hi everyone,
This is my first time on here so hope I'm doing it right.
I have a 4 1-2 month son will be 5 month on the 12th Dec, he is BF. I would like some help how to train him to sleep longer at night because it is killing me not getting much sleep.
He used to sleep quite well would do a 6 hour stint till midnight and then one or two more feeds after that which was manageable but from 4 months he kept waking up I thought It was sleep regression but it's not & now he doesn't do his 6 hour stint at all maybe 3 hours at the beginning of the night (bedtime 6:30-7 if i can get to that time) then can be every 2 hours, I do feed him when he wakes then he'll go to sleep but now when I put him down he wakes up. He used to self soothe himself but now doesn't,so difficult to get him back to sleep. He has dummy sometimes in the day when he naps but will not have it at night. Any advice would be great. L

Sleep in the newborn phase (up to 3 or 4 months) is completely different to sleep from then onwards. So there is no point comparing what sleep used to be like.

As a newborn sleep is passive, like it was in the womb. Baby only really woke when a need wasn't met (ususlly hunger or comfort), then passively went back to sleep once needs were met.

Sleep has now matured. It's a perminant change. Sleep is now in cycles, with phases deep and light sleep. Importantly the process of getting to sleep is now active- it has to be worked at.

Some things that are known to help:

• dummy
• Feeding to sleep
• Bouncy chair bouncing
• Pushchsir
• Car ride
• Cosleeping
• Sleeping in a sling
• sleeping on you / in arms

A full tummy is also going to help with sleeping. Plenty of regular, big feeds. As will lots of sleep. Awake time for a 4-5 month old needs to be no more than an hour. I'd aim for 40-60 mins awake between one nap and the next throughout the daytime.

FATEdestiny,
Thanks for your advise yes I think I'm going to try my hardest to feed him more in day so it fills him up. He naps every 1hour an half and doesn't really struggle with his naps. He was really good last night but he was in his pushchair a while so that always helps.

It does actually sound very like the 4 month sleep regression to me - the deterioration in sleep can actually be pretty permanent. Well, obviously not permanent, but the implication of '4 month sleep regression' is that it will end by 5 months, and it often doesn't. As Fate says, it's about permanent changes in the way sleep works, and so for a lot of babies it's not just a case of waiting for them to go back to their 'old selves.' Mine are 9.5 months now and have only really settled back down into manageable sleep habits in the last month or so.

Agree with everything FATE said re: things to try, but honestly, I think a lot of the time all you can really do is wait. They WILL sleep eventually, and I'm not convinced there's a whole lot you can do in the meantime (and I speak as someone still waiting for one of my twins to consistently drop the night feed! But they're so much better now than they were three or four months ago, and I don't think the improvement is the result of a single thing I've done, it just happened.)

You have my sympathy though, you really do. Hang on in there!

Going through similar here and 4 month vaccines plus teething are making things extra.... challenging.

My DD was also going for a good 6-7 hrs with maybe 2 wakes a night but since 14/15 weeks began waking 2 hourly and being v difficult to settle (wouldn't feed to sleep).

I took FATE's advice and took the side off DD's cot and pushed it against our bed. I'm also using a blankie to cuddle into her during bedtime routine and night wakes though I know it'll take her a while to latch onto that for comfort.

When she wakes now I cuddle up beside her and hold her hand and put another hand on her tummy and sometimes it gets her back to sleep without her needing to feed to sleep. If she wakes again within 30 mins I automatically feed her but again, like your LO, she still requires "settling" to go back into cot so I do the hand holding routine if needed.

Last night she took aaaages to get to sleep but slept 10pm till 3ish and then when she woke again at 5am a hand hold got her back to sleep again with fairly minimal fuss, so I know she'll get there eventually!

I also agree with napping and feeding the bejesus out of them during the day. DD definitely has better nights of she's had days of good solid naps and full feeds.

It WILL get better but you probably do need to adjust your expectations a bit. My DD1 took about 2 months to self-settle again at this age, and nose-dived again around 8 months with separation anxiety. First full night was at 10 months and consistently sleeping through around 12/13 months.

Could be shorter or longer to that blissful milestone for you but remember it will happen!

Sympathy and fist-bumps from the Sleepless Sisterhood to you

"feeding the bejesus out of them during the day"

love that for a sentence. So true!

Thanks redlemonade. Yeh I think I have to come to accept it will happen one day and wait till then, I'll still try a few things to see if it helps, why not aye. Thanks everyone. Hope you all get your sleeping babies too.