How do you wean lo's off nursing to sleep at bedtime? PLEASE HELP!!!

[cruisemum1]

Ds 5 months is a bugger to settle at night. He went through a really awful unsettled period during the nights recently but that is getting better slowly but surely. He is bf but currently weaning to ff and is also being weaned onto solids which he loves . The bane of my life however is bedtime settling. He is bf to sleep (won't settle any other way at bedtime) but continuously wakes and needs me for rocking/nursing/comfort. My dd is 9 yo and it is so unfair on her as dh works long hrs and is hardly ever here to take care of her or ds so I have to do this alone. He is shattered by 7pm, falls asleep, wakes, falls asleep, wakes, falls asleep - get the picture. I put him in his cot and he sometimes stirs - sees where he is and nods off again but only ever for around 5 - 15 mins. This scenario lasts for around 2 hours and means I don't get to have a relaxing bedtime goodnight with dd. She is great about it most nights but 23 weeks on is getting rather fed up that Mummy cannot do stuff wth her in the evenings.
Any suggestions for getting dd to settle?
btw - am not ready for cc/cio..... yet .

just wondering how things were going cruisemum and if you've actually implemented anything yet??? if so would love to know.

Regarding having an older child - we have just employed a no video games rule for school nights as ds of 8yo was turning into a zombie and on them non-stop. This new rule doesnt help with the 'baby wanting to suck all night long' scenario as he also is wanting me to spend time with him and misses out on the occasional goodnight cuddle as well(which to him isnt acceptable as were very ovey family iukwim). I do feel guilty about this but KNOW that this wont be forever as it has to get better SOMEHOW.....

lovefamily i have had a couple of horrendous nightws with lo waking 6 times tues night and 3 last ngiht but one waking was for 2 hours . he does seem to be settling more quickly at bedtime (by around 8 last three nights) which is great but, boy am I paying for it later . just don't know what to do?!

lovefamily?????

cruisemum - I havent implemented any 'technique' as such yet but some nights she just wants to suck forever. Last night was a mix. I put her to bed the usual bf way in our bed. She did awake, moaned a little - i waited literally just a couple of minutes and she must have fallen back asleep - but.... she never normally does. However because Id forgotten to booster her nappy (we use cloth) when she woke at 2am I had to get her up to change her - i dont normally as cloth nappy sees her through night. She totally woke up and lay in bed happily squealing and alsorts for half an hour and then the usual bf to sleep when she was ready.

I find she will have longish sleeps once shes down but from 4am onwards (if im lucky as its often earlier) will be a mix of constant waking and sucking. Trouble is im so tired - I lay next to her half asleep and must just give her my boob and i dont even wake enough to know ive done it if you know what i mean.

Am gonna read NCSS again and reread pupd then will decide and if ive had time to read them will get 'started' on something next week properly cause I know its gonna need devotion.

forgot to say - when i was doing changes i do them in the dark. we have one upstairs light on which gives me enough light to get change done. Also when she woke last night for happy hour at 2am. I just stay in bed, politely ignored her etc. think this helps.

I breastfed all my children to sleep at night and they naturally grew out of it. If it is a problem with older children, why not spend time with the older child with baby attached to the breast. That way baby is quiet and older child gets attention. I never sat alone in a room breastfeeding - baby went wherever I needed to go. Perhaps if last feed was like that, more relaxed awith you not worrying about older child not getting attention then the cycle would break? Just a thought.

mears. ta for post but i really want advice on how to get him him to settle in his cot not how to get round it, iyswim.

sears - im with cruisemum - Im already getting round it - have laptop next to sofa so i can work with one hand while she feeds and sleeps etc lol need to get dd in cot settling herself and not to be selfish - but my eveings back so i can get more work done (not to mention housework and time with ds) sigh...

lovefamily - i must email you properly. had dd on halfd term this week so barely time for mn! will email you soon. we could hatch a plan!

cruisemum - yes had same thing with ds1 but back to school now. I get the famous 'im bored' routine from him but did manage to sort a few things out. i definately need to get a plan sorted. i know what i wanna do but seem to be putting it off - cant imagine why . Been so busy lately - ive just been firefighting each day which i dont like. sooooooo many things to do so little time!!!

Oh why did i have to try and set up in business now??? oh yes... so i can be around for children AND pay the mortgage. keep forgetting

this sounds terrible but at the moment - its easier how it is but the 'catch 22' of it is that i need to spend time sorting it to be able to have more time to get things done iyswim. Just gonna get through the backlog of things to do then just go for it.

In laws want to come visit at weekend as well and go out for a meal - i have no idea how thats gonna work!

Anyway - hows your 'thing' going?

it's not!