I think my baby is trying to kill me.

[ProbablyMe]

I've not had an hours sleep in a row in so long. Tonight I've been up at least every 20
Minutes and he is trying to declare morning at 3 am. My partner is away for work tonight and doesn't wake up when he is here. I am so tired everything hurts. I can't stop crying or shaking. He's has broken me. I'll have to go in and try and settle him soon but I do t want to see him. I want to run away. I spent all of last week and part of the previous week in hospital with my 13 yo who had Sepsis away from home (baby came to) but he's always been like this. I can't think of anything apart from sleep. I have to drive at 7am but I can't stop shaking and my eyes are blurred. I just want to shut my eyes and stop existing at the moment.

And I fucking hate Ewan the fucking dream sleep. I want to lob him and his fucking white noise out of the fucking window.

It's so hard. Could you bring him into your bed for the rest of the night?

This sounds incredibly hard on you. I'm sorry to hear about your elder child's sepsis and hope they've made a good recovery. What age is your baby? It sounds like you need more help here, you need to take care of your own wellbeing too (I know that's easier said than done at times like these). If co sleeping helps tonight, I'd do it

Oh yeah and fuck Ewan. I could've spent that money on gin

When he's in with me he thinks it's time to play. I actually wanted to co sleep but he just woke more and more often. He's 6 months now and the youngest of 5 with a 13 year gap (new relationship). He doesn't cry he just wakes and constantly whinges until someone goes in to shove a dummy back in and turn on the bloody sheep. He goes to sleep at half six to seven o clock with no problems. We've tried to get him to stay awake longer but he cries to go to sleep. He has a bottle at ten and after that he's fussing at least hourly. Tonight is impossible. We're very low key with him at night, don't pick him up unless he gets distressed, don't talk, avoid changing his nappy unless he poo's. Try not to offer a bottle every time hmm wakes. I don't know what I'm doing wrong. If one more well.l meaning idiot person tells me that not sleeping is a sign of ruddy intelligence I will not be responsible for my actions.

My -3 yo is chronically sick and will eventually need a kidney transplant and has been in and out of hospital but this year has been particularly hard - he's had 6 admission in the last 4 1/2 months.

I know I should consider myself lucky and I feel so guilty. We lost babies to a late miscarriage followed by an early miscarriage in 2015. He's generally a happy easy going baby who really rarely cries - never for more than a couple of minutes and most days not at all. He's just so unsettled at night. He does nap during the day but likes to be in his cot (or being walked around in a sling sometimes but less so recently). It's good that he will settle in his cot but it makes doing anything so hard as he doesn't nap properly otherwise and he's even worse at night if he hasn't slept much during the day. I just wished he would settle in with us. We'd both happily co sleep but he just doesn't want to cooperate!! We always said sleep was the priority and would be flexible to make sure we all got some but whatever we try he seems to be wise to! It doesn't help that my DP doesn't wake up although I'm unconvinced he had him on his own two nights during the last hospital stay and managed just fine :-s

*13

Oh dear, I hope you have had some sleep! It's exhausting at the best of times, and with all the other scary things going on I'm surprised you are still upright.
I made a nest next to me in bed, and dozed holding little one's dummy in.

could one of your older children cover a night for you? Apart from grabbing a nap at every opportunity, I've no help to offer, sorry!

You poor thing I was like this with my first, I got really depressed due to exhaustion and the only thing that helped was going on antidepressants until she slept better. I too have a large gap with my current baby and I think it's such a shock going back to those sleepless nights. I kept mourning my old life! The pills were a god send I took a very low dose just enough to help me function though the tricky first year. Also rope your partner into maybe doing the ten o clock feed and taking care of the older ones so you could go to sleep at 7? I know it's so hard but it gets better after the first year I guess. Take care of yourself.

Sounds like torture have my own sleep issues with a 3yo and 23 month old and sadly no magic formula. Just to say best of luck. Is there anybody close to you who you could ask to step in for one night and you go to a friends/ hotel for one decent night's sleep? All the best OP, sleep issues are hellish (& hope your other children are well)

Sleepless baby plus 4 others - eek!
To start with, you know he will go down at 7 and you will get 4 solid hours in. Get your partner to take over the bedtimes for at least three times that week and get your head down. Yes, it means less time with the rest of the family, but it's a temporary fix until you recharge your batteries. If at all possible, I would try to get a regular nap in during the day too, if your three year old goes to nursery at all (or maybe you can persuade your toddler to cuddle and rest too?). A good nap routine is a bloody godsend and helps set them up for a good night as well.

Next, if you have not already, I really recommend the no-cry sleep solution to help figure out ways to extend his sleep. She recommends keeping a diary for a few nights, so you can work out his cues and how to slip him back into deeper sleep. TBF, 5 hours is a normal amount of time for babis to sleep before waking to feed/have a nappy change. So it sounds like he is struggling to settle again and then goes through his biorhythm cycle, waking up every hour at the lightest point.

Good luck, OP. I am running around after a 3 year old with a six month too, so you have my sympathy. I hope you get the help you need ASAP.

Just read your reply - it's amazing what you are dealing with. I'm sorry to hear about the ongoing nature of your 13 year old's condition, that must take a lot out of you physically and mentally. You know what, you don't have to feel grateful all the time. I'm so sorry to hear about the miscarriages. But not being grateful every minute during very intense sleep deprivation doesn't mean you are uncaring, or that you weren't very upset indeed about the babies you had to say goodbye to. Go easy on yourself in that respect. I know it's the obvious thing to say but have you tried talking to your GP or health visitor? I have an hourly waker too. It didn't fix the situation but did help me to get my strength and focus back.

Sorry to hear your having such a tough time.

Rather than Ewan the sheep you could try while noise. We downloaded a free app that has a range of noises which we play all night. Saves waking up because the noise stops. Unfair haven't mastered how to keep the dummy in

I feel your pain re: the baby. The rest on top just seems too much and I can't believe you're still functioning!
I'm so tired now from rocking and rocking and rocking in the night that all parts of my body just hurt

You poor thing. If the white noise work then recommend looking up hairdryer videos on YouTube and leaving them playing all night. They have 8 hour ones (yes, really!). That's what I had to do with dd.

The dummy thing is so annoying, but really soon he will figure out how to find it. I used to leave loads in the cot so one would always be to hand (plus, chucking them all on to the floor gave her something quiet to do in the early hours...)