Advice please on how to get 3 month old to sleep during day

[Madaboutcake]

I'd really appreciate some help as this has now been going on for 3 months (the age of my dd). My baby needs around 3 hours sleep during the day, but unless it's on me she won't sleep and then gets more and more upset as the day goes on. I didn't mind at first as she's so young and needed to bond, etc but I really feel as if I'd like to be able to get stuff done around the house (and be able to go to the loo!). Also she would sleep better if in her cot than on me due to her getting bigger and the weather getting hotter.

My HV has suggested cc based on 5 mins, 7 mins etc and to pick her up each time as she's so young. But it's not working and I find it really distressing listening to her cries. She does fall asleep after about 7 minutes but only for about half an hour and then she wants a feed to comfort her (I'm breastfeeding). I've been doing it for 6 days.

It's also affecting the whole household as my 6 year old is not getting much attention from me at the moment as my DD takes it all.

Any ideas??!!

Thanks so much

Yours in desperation

Have you heard of Tracey Hogg "The Baby Whisperer"? We used her sleep training method, pick-up put-down, and thought it was great. There's no leaving the baby to cry (I'm not against that!) and is a less stressful for everyone. Her web site is www.Babywhisperer.com.

My dd was exactly the same when she was 3 months - I started putting her down in her pram after she had fallen to sleep and then rocking her (in the pram)to get her back to sleep (she always used to wake up when I put her down) - I gradually put her down more and more awake until she went off to sleep on her own (most of the time) - I then changed to putting her in her cot - at first putting her down when she was quite sleepy and staying with her until she dropped off - I can now put her to bed in her cot awake and she gets herself off to sleep - she is 6 months old now. I found the pram easier than the cot at first because I could rock her and it didn't involve running up and down the stairs - hth.

Love your name Madaboutcake!!!

Well, I noticed that it was easier for DS to calm and go to sleep when we allowed him to cry to sleep in one single go, as entering into the room or picking him up was enough to wind him up for longer, after all they get the idea they are finally getting up and then their are put bak in theee cot! I think that picking them up also reinforce the patterne that if they cry for long enough they will be picked up.

I think that if you are very regular at your routines, but only if you are reagular, you can leave her to cry in one go, DS cried 10 min the first day (I was in tears), 7 the second and after wards just 1-2 min until he just went to his cot, looked or touch his toys for a while and fell sleep without a cry. He was about 6 weeks at the time. It may seem though but I think that the total of -30 min he spend crying during those few days have saved him hours of crying later. The only problem, of course, is that they get so used to it that if they are not in their cots they find it really difficult to go to sleep!

Madabout, I agree with Chandra to a degree - I think at this age continually picking up and putting down may be more upsetting than just letting them get to sleep. But obviously you can't do that if your dd cries a lot for long at her age, it wouldn't be fair. Can you start to find 'comfort' objects for her? Things that are a 'you' replacement? Also, would she maybe be happier sleeping in the lounge or somewhere closer to you? My dd for a long time took her daytime naps on a big cushion on the lounge floor in a quiet corner with some soft music on. Otherwise I'd let her sleep in the pram and sit in the park with her reading a book until she woke. When she was a bit older and I thought more robust to handle something like cc (think it was about 8 months) then I started getting her to sleep in the cot in the day.

We used music as well (the same I played to DS while in my tummy) and a grobag, he had also a fabric book that loved (the book was his Teddy TBH). I think the cobination of those 3 things meant for him sleep time.

Lots of sympathy. I was pulling my hair out too at 3 months. DD (now 4 months) found her thumb a couple of weeks ago and now can be put down in her cot or pram and will go off to sleep happily.

Prior to that, we borrowed a Graco swing chair from a friend and put her in that when we felt there was nothing more we could do and that worked brilliantly. We still tried putting her in her cot for a sleep but it was very hit and miss. Difficult for us too as there is only 18 months between DD and DS.

It will come in the end - hopefully soon!

Hi Madaboutcake

my dd (now aged 4.5 months) was exactly like this until she was about 3 or 3.5 months. She point blank refused to sleep during the day unless she was being rocked, pushed in a pram, in the car (moving) or feeding / sucking on my finger. She had an uncanny knack of waking exactly when the rocking, pushing or moving stopped no matter how sound asleep she appeared to be. In the end, she gradually started sleeping herself and now (hooray) sleeps for about 20 mins in the morning (enough to get dishes done and have quick cup of tea) and about 2 hours in the afternoon. Which is trully brilliant
I can't really think of anything else to suggest except that dd really seems to need a short 5 minute 'grizzle' to settle herself to sleep and that if we 'leave her to it' then she will drop off. I wouldn't call it controlled crying exactly because it's not crying as such. If the grizzling becomes more like crying or if it goes on for more than 5 mins or so, I'll go and see her but ususlly 5 mins is all that it takes. Ir, failing that, what about having dd in bed beside you while she naps. Although this won't be much use if you want to get stuff done, you'll at least have a break yourself.
Anyway, you have my sympathies (I've been there). Hopefully your dd will settle soon.

My ds was exactly the same and by 3.5 months I'd really had enough! He would only sleep in the baby carrier, car seat, or pushchair and I remember well what it's like to have no time to yourself - horrific!! One day we'd been out shopping and he'd fallen asleep in the car, as soon as we'd stopped the engine he woke up screaming as he was so tired. As I couldn't copewith the thought of unloading the monthly shop with that going on,I put him straight in his cot and he cried for about 35 mins before going to sleep for about 2 hours!!! That night he also slept through from his 11pm feed until 6.30am - amazing! It was heartbreaking to do it but I am so glad I did, from that day on I didn't have any problem with him going to sleep in his cot in the day and it made life so much nicer. Hope this helps.

Thanks for everyone for the words of wisdom - and reassurance that I'm not the only one! It sounds as though things should get easier soon and I'll definitely be trying all the tips.

Thanks!