Sleeping Positions

[SimonHoward]

I need to ask some of the more experienced members of the board if they know of any way to get a baby to go to sleep while laying down after they have been fed?

I ask this as almost every time I feed dd I end up with her falling asleep on my shoulder after winding her and if I try to move her she wakes up and cry until I put her back there.

She also does this to a lesser degree with my dw.

The problem really stems from the fact that at almost 16lbs she is getting too heavy for my dw to keep her up there for more than 10-20 minutes at a time and sometimes it will take over an hour before she can be moved without the tears and crying. I can and have had her drapped over me like a sack of potatoes for over an hour and all she does is snore in my ear (which I'm used to) but by the end of it even I'm numb.

Please can someone offer some help.

How old is she? You could try putting her down on her tummy, sounds like she likes this position. Although obviously this is NOT recommended by health officials under the age of 1 year because of cot death risk, my dd slept very well on her tummy but appallingly on her back.

Simon - I would really try to put her down awake. I know this is really difficult and everyone tells you to do it but you don't see how you can because as soon as they go down they start to cry. I must admit with our DS (who had colic for the first few weeks - but only until about 6 weeeks) we didn't get anywhere until he went to nursery at 15 weeks and had naps there.

I used to put DS in his cot and pat his bottom (sleeping on his front which I'm not advising because of the risks etc). Anyway I would pat his bottom and go "shh shh" interspersed with singing Twinkle Twinkle and it worked gradually more and more quickly. At first I would stay until he was asleep, then just until he was settled and then just one rendition of Twinkle Twinkle. Now at 15 months it seems like ages since I have had to do anything but give him a cuddle, put him in his cot and pull the covers up so its been worth it. Your wife would certainly struggle with 26 1b wriggling DS.

oh this sounds familiar...

when my dd was nearly a year old i decided enough was enough. I fed her and put her down awake. I then stayed in the room with her - just pottering around - until she fell asleep. the first night this took just 5 minutes...other nights it took longer, but she quickly accepted this as the norm...

It really depends how old your daughter is?

HTH

Thanks for the advice ladies.

My dd is just over 13 weeks.

I have tried winding her on my knee and also over my leg and they do the job just as well but she doesn't fall asleep in either of these positions.

Also moving her around when asleep is not normally a problem, it just seems that for the first 30-45 minutes after dropping off on my shoulder she hates being moved. After that it is fine to move her but by this amount of time dw's shoulder is numb.

If I put her down awake sometimes she will drop off but usually she will cry for quite a while and the one thing in the world I really, really cannot bear is to see a woman/girl of any age crying.

She cannot stand being put down on her front to sleep normally but will happily face down when laying on my chest or dw's.

I did wonder if it was a problem caused by trapped wind that was too low down to be burped up as my dd has a bottom that sounds like a machine gun when she decides to fart.

Simon, bite the bullet and start putting her down in her cot once you've winded her. She's 3 months, so should be learning to settle herself in her cot for sleep by now (IMO) She obviously likes going to sleep cuddled up to you or your wife but if you both aren't happy with it, its time to stop.

IMO, its not the position, its just the cuddly aspect of it that she likes. Which is lovely, but not very practical for the future, esp if she's already 16lb!

Re: not liking to see her cry, remember you are giving her a great gift, the gift of sleep, its a positive not a negative thing.

PS I'm no lady

SimonHoward,

This sounds just like my dd and dh. My dd actually did appreciate it when we put her down in her bed (eventually), it took her a while to learn - can you not put her down on her and then sing to her / soothe her and perhaps give her a dummy if you can.

We always used to let dd fall asleep when she wanted in the first 2 months and also where she wanted but she was much better when we had a set time and routine. I know my dd likes predictability.

You won't be able to carry her around like that when she's 20 + pounds ! I think you should try and solve the problem now if you can, the younger the better.

TillysMummy

I tried the idea of putting her straight down this
morning after her feed to see if it works and she dropped straight off.

Thinking about it though it does seem to be more common in the afternoon or evening that she does this.

I will talk it over with dw and try putting her down staright away and then not giving in.

Thanks to you and all the others for the advice.

Oh, dw and I hate dummies so we don't have any and my singing would wake the dead so that they could try to shut me up (the next Will Hayes I'm not)

It may be worth introducing a snuggly, give her a cuddle with snuggly between you and her then when you put her into her cot she will still have the warmth from it. Good luck....

What is as Snuggly?

Sorry, a soft toy suitable from birth or blanket(something warm and snuggly!!)

We tried that sort of thing, all she does is move it away from her.

Her great grandparents bought her a soft night time toy with aroma beads in it and she will let us put it by her when we put her down but she won't hold it or have it near her when we try to get her to sleep.

I will try it again though as it has been a few weeks since we last tried.

Not sure why you hate dummies, Simon. Snobbery? For some babies they are absolute lifesavers, because they have such a strong urge to suck that nothing else will comfort them in the same way. My ds adores his and I couldn't hate anything that makes him so contented and makes my life more peaceful.

I didn't have a dummy with dd for pure snobbery, but looking back I can see it would have been bloody useful as she was a very demanding and 'sucky' baby. luckily she found her thumb eventually, but I won't be so snobby with the next one and will have one secreted in the house!!

I have never liked dummies and dw absolutely hates them with a passion after seeing a large number of friends kids get them shoved in their mouths at the least provocation.

We just decided that we'd rather not use them.

Also dd has found her thumb (and her fingers, usally 2 at a time, the muslin we use as a bib and my hand) for sucking on.

Dw thought it was really hilarious when dd latched onto my hand with both of hers and then started sucking and gumming the side of it. The little madam had a huge grin on her face the entire time she was drooling and slobbering on me.

SimonHoward, that's good she's found her thumb.

A little defense for dummies though. When used properly they can be very effective. I hate to see kids constantly walking around with dummies in their mouths and when they are used to silence children, however as a sleep tool we have found them very useful. DD has her dummy when she goes to sleep.

One word of warning about the thumb which a few of my friends have discovered. You can't take it away (one friends child constantly walks round with thumb in mouth).

Anyway, as long as dd can comfort herself you haven't got a problem. So why not let her try putting herself to sleep if you feel it's the right time.

I think it's very important for you to have your evenings back and for dd to have a definite bedtime and wind down routine - just my own humble opinion though !

Hi, our dd is the same age as yours and is just learning to go to sleep in her cot. We find that placing one hand on her chest and stroking her head with the other as she lies in her cot works wonders. Also, as your dd seems to hate lying flat, have you asked your G.P. about the possibility of her having a reflux problem? You could also try raising the head end of your cot (not the matress) to about the height of a Yellow Pages, this definitely makes a difference to our dd. We also use a dummy, our dd has terrible colic in the early hours and sucking it helps her to cope with the discomfort so it'd be cruel not to let her have it. Good luck!

Once dd is asleep at night it takes a bomb to go off to wake her up and she is quiet happy to sleep for 9-11 hours each night and even wake up and just stare at her mobile for a while when she does without making a noise.

I have done the stroking the head and even stroking her chest which does relax her.

I'm begining to wonder if she just likes being snuggled when there is only one of us around.

If I can't find another way I'l just have to do some body bulidling to keep up with dd weight gain so my shoulder doesn't go to slleep so quickly.

Another thing I should mention (and please don't hate me for this) that unless she is hungry, needs a nappy changing or has trapped wind dd rarely cries at all. Usually she is full of smiles and giggles and laughs for a lot of the day. It is very rare for her to just cry and as soon as the problem is sorted she reverts back to a smiling baby or she falls asleep.

It only seems to be after feeding that there is a problem. If she is tired and hasn't been fed recently she will just drop off to sleep anywhere and in any position (and some of them have been pretty strange)