Does my 9 month old need night feeds?

[laulea82]

Hello

Super tired mummy and daddy here. Our 9 month old ds has slept though a total of 4 times (til 5am). Weaning has been a bumpy road with days ranging from zero solids to huge meals. The last three weeks he has found his hunger and eats everything offered and more.
He's had a night feed every night and more recently now has two 8-9oz bottles overnight.
He has food about 630pm followed by 12oz of milk before bed. Then he's up 12 ish and 4 ish for a full bottle each time. He will kick off if we try to comfort him any other way.
We both have demanding jobs and a 3 year old little firecracker. The lack of sleep is getting to us. One get up we can cope with (just).
So - should we stop night feeds? How?
Thanks in advance

Better than expected! He woke at 230. Happy with water briefly then got mad with me threw the cup and wouldn't let me soothe him. Didn't want to be picked up or touched. Tried rubbing his back and head but he pushed me away. So he just cried on and off for about an hour. Then up at 630 not even hungry! Pleased just one get up and that I have satisfied myself he doesn't need milk in the night. Just hope it works in the long run.

Hello all - again
So we just went with it and thought he would decide when he wants to drop the night feed. He is now 18 months! Still has a bottle in the night.
Is the only option to refuse the bottle and let him cry? We are So exhausted. 😪

I feel a bit sorry for you op, for the rubbish advice you've received from the usually helpful DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen. You could have sorted this 9 months ago at 9 months old. Much easier then than now, with an 18 month old toddler.

Not giving a weaning baby water? I've never heard anything so rubbish. Your baby needed/needs to quench thirst and is now weaning. Sounds like someone mistook the advice given to a pre-weaned baby baby on water in place of formula.

That could be argued in the same vein with regards to diluting formula. It is not recommended because it stops baby getting the nutrients from the milk. The point being that at 9 months plus, baby did not need the nutrients at night. So watering the milk would have been fine. It's about taking things in context, not just reading Dr Google with no real thought.

And the nutrients in milk being a me to the next two misconceptions on this thread: that night feeds until 12 months are necessary and to be expected (absolutely not) and that baby needs the milk given in the night. It's different for a breastfeeding parent, where night feeds are less about milk and more about comfort. But on formula, absolutely no reason baby couldn't get all of their calorific needs in the daytime.

At 9 months old you needed to ensure a high calorie diet of solids and plenty of milk in the day, then just stop the formula at night.

At 18 months it's going to be harder, but the same thing. You just need to stop the night feed and find a different way to comfort baby that doesn't involve milk. Basically The advice now is what you should have done 9 months ago, but will be harder now not least because baby can stand (and climb) and scream louder when unhappy in the cot.

I would not replace the milk feed with anything else, because that could become the same crutch as a night feed. Just go cold turkey.

Also completely seperate milk and sleep at bedtime and naptime. Don't give a bottle straight before going to sleep. Develop an alternate comforting mechanism for baby - comforter toy, patting, shushing or whatever works. Just no milk. At all.

Oh, and keep your child well hydrated during the day. Water is important for the child. A child well hydrated during the day should not be waking thirsty at night, just like a well fed child should be more than capable of having no calories for 12 hours overnight.

Thank you FATE. I've tried going cold turkey and after 3 nights of non-stop 2-3 hours of screaming he started sleeping through for a week or so. Then one night we gave in out of desperation and we are back at square one. There is literally no other way to comfort him. I think it's time to bite the bullet isn't it?! Any chance you think this might get better on its own? 🤔

I don't think it will get better on its own.

I would just bite the bullet and not give in. At all, ever. Then just decide on all your sleep training method and stick to it. It might be:

• Controlled crying, going in at timed intervals
• gradual withdrawal
• disappearing chair
• Cry it out

You could pick an in-between method, or your own. As long as you have very clear boundaries and expectations.

So maybe we say no bottle in the night. That's the only rule? No matter what no bottle. We then try anything else to soothe him. None of which will work. I've just interviewed for a new job which is going to longer hours and a commute so I'm shitting my pants I won't be up to it.

He still has 12oz before bed and sometimes more in the afternoon and morning. 😱

That's vast quantities of milk. You realise it's not necessary? Its also not terrible to give milk as a drink, but milk is high calorie. Is he especially small? Once he is two, assuming he's a good weight and doesn't need the calories, it will be worth moving him onto skimmed, low fat milk.

If you feel the milk is needed, i would suggest moving it to be given at mealtimes as a drink, not at bedtime or naptime. Give water instead. And non at night.

Yes I do realise it's not needed and that he's having too much. Dd had zero milk as a drink after 15 months. He is not small he is 90th centile for height and weight. He will drink milk from any form of cup or bottle. And he has a great appetite. He's always been a hungry boy whether it be boob, bottle or food.
He has prescription formula still for cmpa. And soya milk. He is slowly growing out of it and can have cheese butter and yogurt now. Not tried cows milk yet though.

Ah, I didn't realise he was cmpa. I understand that prescription milk is thin stuff? I'm not sure on its calorific value, if I'm honest.

It does sound like he's using the calories for comfort though, rather than hunger. Long term that isnt a very healthy link.

Given his weight and the fact he isn't chasing calories, you could start the process of watering down his formula until it's just water. This would be much more gentle than going cold turkey.

Thanks Fate. I'm not sure which route to take. The soya alto junior (which he has in the day) has more protein and calories than cows milk but dunno about it vs his formula. I could easily get more milk in him in the day too. You're right the bottle generally isn't good for him is it. 😫