tips for settling

[Indith]

ds (4 weeks) will merrily go for 3 hours between feeds at night if co sleeping but in his crib is very very hard to settle and once he does go down wakes hourly and just roots and roots for a feed.

I need some tips for getting him to settle without giving in and feeding when he doesn't need it. Any other general tips for getting him to sleep better in his crib also good I really do not want to keep co sleeping (though there is a lot to be said for waking up in the morning to a gently waking warm cuddly baby!)

He has outgrown swaddling really now and doesn't seem to care what he is in, grobag, sheet and blanket or cardigan and light blanket.

He's so weeney I'm afraid you are going to have to go with the flow for a bit and over time he will gradually get better. However there are a number of things you could try. First off is a dummy - this would help the need to suck but not necessarily hunger. We used one for 3 months only to get DS to settle better for sleep. Secondly I would be tempted to give swaddling another go as at this age their arms flail and they tend to feel more secure wrapped snug, and being snug has the added benefit of helping them through the jolts as they transition from deep to light sleep which can cause them to wake. Thirdly would be to try (and this will take time and patience) to teach him to get to sleep whilst lying in the moses basket/cot. There are a number of techniques for this but we found shushing (quite loud like a tap at a rhythmic pace) and patting gently on his chest/shoulder (imagine a heart beat). This really does take time but is so worth it as LO will learn to self-settle where you want them to sleep and so they don't wake confused at not being in mummy's arms or wherever they fell asleep. But at this stage I wouldn't worry too much about the feeding frequently, that's all par for the course with them at this stage. Good luck and of course, congratulations!

Thanks! not really worried about feeding frequently as such, more that I know when he is hungry and when he just wants the comfort and I know from experience that if I give in and feed for comfort he just ends up sicking up lots as he can't take the volume of milk!

I was worried about this as ds wouldn't settle in his crib and we always ended up taking him in with us.

At about 6 weeks he grew out of it though and at the moment is quite easy to settle in his cot (11 weeks). I'm sure this will change!

This is my first too though so we're just finding our way and I'm no expert - all I'm saying is that my experience so far has been that there are no real fixed patterns at this age so don't worry about the old "creating a rod for your own back" chestnut if having him in with you is giving you a better night's sleep at the moment.

Plenty of time for him to get used to sleeping alone.

Another thing is that I think ds outgrew the crib v quickly (it was a small one though) and didn't like his hands hitting the side. He seems to sleep a lot better in the cot which is in our room as well.

Next time (if there is one!) I'll just put the cot next to the bed with the drop side down and have the baby in that straight away I think.