In between 2 naps and 1 -- force a schedule or go with the flow?

[TS123]

I'm really having trouble navigating the switch from 2 naps to 1. Ds is 14 months and will still usually take 2 naps but one is 1h or 1h 30m and the other is 30 min and takes him forever to fall asleep. (sometimes he'll take 2 intermediate naps - each 45 min). I would be willing to just drop the short nap except for 2 problems: 1) the short nap is usually (but not always) the afternoon one which makes it very very hard for him to last to bedtime 2) he wakes up very early (5:30am). I have heard that I should gradually push the morning nap later by 15-30min each day until it's one nap in the early afternoon, but it's really hard to do this with his early waking hour. The other weird and frustrating thing is that when I do push him to nap once at 11-12ish, he will sleep less the next night and be up even earlier than usual the next morning (5am!) which then makes it even harder to keep him awake through the morning and impossible to push him even longer than the day before. HELP! This is so frustrating. I'm sort of thinking I should just go with the flow for another month or so and then see if he starts to sleep in more in the morning, which would make it much easier to go to one nap at midday. I would really really appreciate ANY and ALL suggestions.

This can be tricky. I still find that the later my 3 year old goes to bed the earlier she gets up. If she goes to bed early-ish she'll sleep longer and usually better.
Yuo'll probably find that he'll do that for a few days, or up to a couple of weeks, and will then suddenly settle into it.
If you stick at it.
It depends if you can deal with a tired, grizzly one for a couple weeks to get what you want.
Sorry, one hand typing with wriggly 6 mth old in other arm.
I trained dd2, 6 mths to have 1 nap at 12ish, cos 3 days a week dd1 is at play school at that time and I get precious couple hours on my own.
To me it was worth it, but it took a couple weeks and some days she barely napped at all and was awful.
GOOD LUCK

I guess it's short term pain for long term gain then. I'm not sure if he's ready to be pushed into a one nap schedule. Last time I tried, his night sleep got worse, although that was 2 months ago. I'm so reluctant to try again. I guess I'm hoping there will be some definite clues that he's ready -- then I'll have the guts to stick out the rough patches - knowing that I'm not doing the wrong thing. Perhaps if he consistently stops taking one of his naps altogether?

It really depends, n how much you want it and how stubborn he is.
Is he your first baby??
With dd1 I let her dictate. She had 3 naps then 2 then eventually 1 long one. Can't really remember at what ages.
DD2 has to, to some varying degrees, fit into the schedule of dd1, with playschool etc. As often happens with children after the first one, but you realise when you have another one how flexible and resilient the poor little things can be.
As I said, you may well find he has several bad nights before he gets used to it.
And if you try and don't like the results you can just stop. It's not like you have to continue once you start so don't fret.
Post if you're successful, I'm curious now!!!
Or is that just nosy.

Doh, I always forget to say something in my messages and have to post 2. You may find he'll just stop doing it on his own, but it could be a long time until he does.
Wish they came with a manual, don't you??

Thanks for the advice. Yesterday, I pushed him to stay up until 10:45am after waking at 5am from a 10h night sleep (usual morning nap 9:00am) and he only slept 1h 15m. He was pretty rough for most of the day and I put him to bed at 6:45pm. He shocked me by sleeping to 6am! I'm wondering if this is one of the clues I was waiting for. I'll see how he is today. He may find it easier to stay up this morning considering how long his night sleep was. I think I'll just go day by and as much as I can, stick to one nap unless he's really a mess or has had a short/bad night sleep. I keep reading that it is best to be consistent but while he's transitioning there may have to be some exceptions. I think what I should avoid is him taking one nap that is sometimes at 9am, sometimes at noon (as happens when I leave him with MIL). There should probably be a fairly consistent window of time when he takes his one nap and I will gradually move that later as he gets used to staying up in the morning. I'll continue to keep you posted. And thanks again for the advice. (oh - and yes, he is my first! I guess that's why I'm so unsure of myself)

I have just been through this with dd who is 13 months. She was having 2 short naps a day, but was going longer and longer in the morning until she wasn't ready for a sleep until about 11am. I decided to keep her awake until lunchtime (11.45 ish) and then put her to bed.

For the first few days she only slept for 45 mins and obv was then exhausted by 4pm. But she has gradually 'learnt' to sleep longer, and she now sleeps from 12-2pm.

It has transformed my day as I can now get so much done while she sleeps, and she also sleeps better at night too.

That's what dd1 did. He will get used to it. Is your MIL good about doing what you do and so keeping to his routine, or does she do whatever makes it easier for her?

Well, my problem is that DS's morning nap isn't getting later and later, it's just getting longer but still at 9am. If I push him to stay up, he becomes overtired and sleeps worse (crashes at 10:30 for 1 hour then won't sleep in the afternoon). Yesterday he slept 11/2 in am at 9:00am then again at MIL for 1 hr at 3pm. So it seems he sometimes needs "catch-up" days. Then yesterday, he slept in (for him 6am), babbled in his crib when I put him for a nap at 9:20am (because he was definitely looking tired). He skipped his am nap altogether, so I kept him up and gave him lunch at 11am, then he slept 2 hour from noon to 2pm. I thought this was pretty great but I have to admit, he was so wired all day and had trouble settling at bedtime (which I assumed would be easier because he'd be more tired) and then was up this morning for no reason, wide awake at 4am and wouldn't go back to sleep. To me, knowing my son, this is all because he is quite overtired. I really don't know what to do. His body seems to tell him to take one nap some days but then he can't really handle it. I'm wondering if I should really just go back to enforcing a 2 nap schedule. I'm really really frustrated because no one that I speak to seems to have had this kind of trouble with their child's naps - DS is just the most erratic daytime sleeper. All the books say to keep consistent schedules and I thought I was doing that, but still no two days are alike. Sometimes his morning nap is 1h 1/2 and other days, 30min. I'm not sure what this means (?is he dropping a nap or not, and if so which one????). Please HELP!!!!

Poor you.
Sometimes it takes them ages to transfer to a dif nap schedule, and they can be gits while they're doing it.
IME they do sleep to sleep worse when they're more tired. He will eventually get used to the schedule you give him, and it does sound like he's getting ready to change anyway, if he sometimes misses a nap by himself.
Persist and you should get results. It's sounding pretty good so far.
My dd1 napped for 2 or 3 hours in the day until she was nearly 3, just before xmas. Then I got rid of her dummy.
Bye bye nap!!! I was gutted. It took her a few weeks to adjust, and will still sometimes doze off at 5pm on the sofa.
For a couple weeks she was up at 6am. Aaaaaaaaargh. But now she goes from about 7pm to 7am quite consistently.

You're doing GREAT.
They take time to adjust
Keep telling yourself that.

Thank you so much for the encouragement. It's really what I need right now. I think you're right, I will persist in what I'm doing since most days he'll nap twice. If I put him in his cot and he misses a nap anyway then at least I'll know I gave him a chance to sleep. Once he's consistently skipping one of his naps, I'll decide what to do next. Also, he's developed a cold and is getting two molars so he's got alot to deal with and I shouldn't make dramatic changes to his schedule during this tough time. Thanks again!!

Poor lo.
Sounds sensible.
Post in a few weeks for update. Would love to know how it's going!!

Having a similar problem with mine. Sleeps well at night 7.30 - 7am naps easily at 11am for an hour (I give him lunch after his nap)

Then won't nap in teh afternoon or only after much tooing and froing. I have tried moving his nap later and feeding him lunch first but he still only naps for an hour which isn't enough as he's in a foul temper all afternoon.

Reading this advice, perhaps I will try to skip his afternoon nap and see how he goes. He schedule just seems to change all teh time at the moment and it will no doubt change again when I go back to work in MArch.

For anyone still interested: trouble continues. So I figured the best thing was to take the long nap at 9am and slowly move it later. Today I put him down at 10am and I thought he may have dozed off but wasn't sure because after 30minutes he was wide awake and lying there. I got him up and fed him lunch, figuring he would sleep better on a full stomach -- that may have been my mistake. I put him back to bed at 11:45 (he was looking pretty tired) and he lay awake for 45 min then started screaming. I didn't know if this was because he had slept in AM and wasn't ready to sleep again or because he was overtired and couldn't settle (probably). Anyway, he finally got to sleep for 1 hour at 2pm and woke up in foul mood and very tired all afternoon. Tried putting him to bed early but I think despite being tired he's still struggling to fall asleep in there. So I guess I'm writing all this (if any of you out there are still reading) because it just seems that with my ds, there is just no setting a schedule. He will only sleep if he is darn good and ready. I have a strong feeling that his need to sleep in morning has to do with whether he's had a full night's sleep or not. When he's had over 101/2 hours, he can do without the morning sleep but when he sleeps less, he needs to go back to bed in the morning. I'm really not sure whether to just force him to stay up each day and hope he adjusts by sleeping in, or just go with two naps on the days he wakes early and one nap on the days he "sleeps in". I would really love anyone's thoughts on this.

We've been facing this for a while. DD isn't 11 months yet but nursery have been unable to get her to have a morning nap since December. Gradually, she seems to be adjusting to this as its becoming hard to get her to have 2 naps at home as well.

I think this is partly due to the fact that her 2 naps have been very close together for some time - at 10am and 1pm. It looks like we'll need to bring her lunch forward and put her down some time after 11am.