12 week old too alert to sleep

[Spock27]

Hi all, looking for some advice. My 12 week old dd has always been very alert and bright. This is great except when it comes to sleep; she just refuses to give in during the day. We've just cracked nighttime sleep but she'll only sleep right up against me even then, which is pretty uncomfortable and I get very stiff as I still have problems with spd from the pregnancy.

During the day she'll yawn so I'll start trying to get her to sleep but she fights it and me so hard, she sometimes even headbutts me because she's trying to keep her head up but is too tired to. I try rocking, bouncing, swaying, singing and all combinations. I have white noise on my phone and sometimes try lullaby music. Sling and carrier don't work, she won't go to sleep in her pram on walks as there's too much to see and if I try and put her down anywhere and sing/rock/sway etc then she'll just start grumbling and then eventually crying. She then gets overtired which affects the rest of the day and subsequently the night. If I eventually get her to sleep then she'll only sleep on me or next to me and any noise other than the white noise will immediately wake her up. I've even disconnected the house phone as cold callers were giving me serious rage.

Any ideas? We're going to invest in a sleepyhead but I'm not holding much hope as no matter how deep asleep she is, as soon as I try and put her down or get any distance in bed she's wide awake again

OK. My advice, completely is to not worry about daytime sleep if you've cracked night time. I think people (based on experience) get over invested in this.

Fresh air, walking kn pram and drives in car seat would get mine down. Anything else ended up being a chore and I would waste hours every day fighting to no avail. Eventually she just started napping x

Neither walking or car journeys work anymore. They used to but it seems the older she gets the fewer things will work.

I wouldn't worry about it so much but she does get so overtired and upset, and if she doesn't nap well inv the day then she doesn't sleep well at night!

A second for pram walks, fresh air and car drives. Also, bouncers and kick toys are great in the very early months, same with play mats with stimulating toys to look at, grab for, feel, chew and kick.

It's been a while since mine did that but from what I recall they would have a play, have a grump, have a trump, have a change, have a feed and fall to sleep. You'll both find your rhythm, honest

If you put her down in her cot during the day what does she do?

For a while she was happy to go in her play gym or chair and amuse herself long enough for me to grab a sandwich or do something else, now she cries if I'm not sitting next to her while she's there.

If I just put her down then she'll lie quietly for a couple of minutes then start grumbling and eventually crying if I don't pick her up. And I've tried just coming back and not picking her up, same thing happens.

If I just put her down then she'll lie quietly for a couple of minutes then start grumbling...

What happens if you give a dummy and lie on your bed next to her in the cot at this point?

She won't take a dummy, or a bottle for that matter. Not for lack of trying! I've even tried sneaking a dummy in while she's asleep in the hope that she'll get used to it but no luck.
If I just lie next to her then she'll try to engage me in play or just start crying at me to pick her up depending on how overtired she is at that point. I've tried pretending that in asleep but she'll just cry louder! She'll still be yawning and rubbing her eyes while trying to engage me and if I give up and play with her then we move quickly into the overtired screaming phase!

I find that if I actively try to get dd2 to sleep she resists but if I just pick her up and walk round doing jobs or even better having a boring conversation she drops off.

With dd1 I was obsessed with getting her to nap (she was a terrible sleeper), but I just don't have time to think about it now and I think the fact that I don'the stress about it makes it easier.

She's also 12 weeks and can really only be awake 90 mins between naps so I usually pick her up after about 80 and start being boring!

I'll give that a try. I take it you use a sling to carry her around? My one finds even me doing the dishes interesting until she gets to the overtired stage but is been a while since I gave up on the sling ..

Snooze shade over the pram so she can't see anything? Works wonders for my equally alert DS.

Also sorry if this sounds obvious but with the white noise, how loud do you have it? To be effective, it should be louder than you think - about the same volume as if you were standing in a shower.

This is exactly like my daughter. I started a thread about it yesterday. Mine is 11 weeks old (4 weeks corrected) and she has become too alert so won't settle in the day for any length of time. I'm going to link to my thread as there are lots of useful suggestions. I hope that's okay.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/sleep/2725127-please-someone-help-me-this-baby-will-not-sleep-anywhere

whatmirror I bought the snooze shade but she still woke up and then got very upset that I wasn't there, so much so that I couldn't get her to sleep again! I'll try putting the sound of the white noise up, probably had it too quiet as she seems to toss and turn if it's too loud.

Thanks maybe, my sympathies! Hope you get yours to sleep better soon!

Nope she doesn't like slings so I hoike her over my shoulder. It definitely does get better. Non sleeping dd1 was napping in her cot by 5 or 6 months.

Dd2 still usually only naps for 40 odd mins but I remember it stretching as dd1 got older.

How long is she awake before you start trying to get her to sleep?

It used to be 90 minutes but she was getting very overtired (I just didn't realise that's what was wrong!) Then down to an hour and now I start trying at about 45 minutes. Do you think that's still too long? Thank you for all your replies, I think I am getting a bit obsessed with her napping, I just know she'd be a much happier baby if I was able to get her the rest she needs without this fight!

Not sure if it was a fluke but she took much less persuading to get to sleep with the white noise on very loud this time! Still asleep on me but little steps thanks for the tip whatmirror!

That might be a bit short for 12 weeks, could you try for 1hr15? You obviously don't want her overtired but you don't want her not tired at all.

No worries, my weird DS likes it insanely loud!!

hmmm I think 45 mins is a bit short, I agree that about 1.15 is probably right, but its so hard to get it right! I count my blessings daily that I have a good sleeper - and worry when it will all go horribly wrong!

Fingers crossed for you it doesn't go wrong MrsSparkles!

Left it a bit longer this time and it's now going on 2.5 hours that myself and DH have been trying to get her to sleep. She almost fell asleep on the boob but her eyes would only close for seconds and then fly open even though I'm sitting in a dark room and the only thing she can see is me and the wall behind me

You could try different types of white noise on YouTube. I use 'rain on a tent', it doesn't send my baby to sleep but does seem to work as a cue to nap time and masks noises that I make while pottering around during his catnaps. He falls asleep on me and then I place him into the sleepyhead after 10 minutes. Also there's different types of noise, pink noise, brown noise etc so it's worth experimenting to see if a particular type works for your baby better. Good luck!

Also do you have a pre nap wind down routine as well as a bedtime one?

Hi there. I realise you posted this a while ago but came across your post and is exactly what my 12week is like. Did things improve? How did you get her to sleep without you etc? Love to hear how things developed and if theres hope!