can't cope with the 2-hourly night feeds any more its been 6 weeks and I'm going insane!!!

[kiera]

please can someone advise me as I'm at my wits end here, LO is now 4 1/2 months and started waking every 2 hours through the night when he was 3 months and only a feed would get him back off to sleep again. 6 weeks on he is still doing this and the effects of mega sleep deprivation are setting in, not only this but he keeps coming off the latch (day and night) and my nipples are getting very sore. I have a 3 year old to care for in the day and no family or close friends around to help out so can't catch up on any sleep. I am doing everything I can to get as much rest as possible (co-sleeping, feeding lying down, getting dh to do the middle of the night nappy change) but I literally can't function any more on such fragmented sleep.

I am having trouble now actually getting to sleep as am so stressed out, when I sleep I have nightmares, when I'm awake I'm stressed out, wound up, and despite my best efforts have found myself screaming at child and baby today and feel absolutely awful about it. Last night I cried myself to sleep. Cannot take any more. Yet do not want to give up bfeeding and I am so proud of getting as far as I have. Dh has suggested giving a bottle of ebm or formula for one of the night feeds although I know I will wake up when he cries anyway plus I am concerned about the effect on my milk supply. Alternatively we could try getting him back to sleep without feeding but I foresee even more sleep deprivation and him waking again soonish as he seems genuinely hungry. Will not take much in day as is easily distracted, despite my best efforts.

What are your thoughts please?

Ok, so everyone is going to shoot me down, but here's what I think. When my dc's where babies the guidlines were to wean on to solids at four months. I found that in all three cases they started waking in the night at 3 months - I am absolutely positive it was because they needed more than milk. My first and last I waited untill 4 months and with the middle one I started at three months, by the time they were having one solid feed per day sleep went back to normal.

My dd1 does have exema, but the other two don't have any allergies inc dd who went onto solids at 12 weeks. None are overweight.

There is no way they could have waited untill 6 months.

Kiera, just replied to you on the other thread but there is more detail here so want to respond again.

My DD is exactly the same (20 weeks) and I also feel like I'm cracking up. Fortunately I don't have any other LO to look after. I think you've done a great job with the bf under all that pressure and with all due respect GofW I'm not convinced that solids are the answer just yet. They may be getting hungrier but if you can ride it out, milk is the most nutricious thing you can offer them at the moment.

I would suggest that if your DH is willing to help out for night feeds then over the next few days start stock piling some expressed milk (or if you'd prefer then formula) then either at the weekend or sometime that's convenient get him to take over the nighttime feeds for a couple of nights. Chances are your LO won't need more than a couple of feeds between 11 and 7 so maybe a couple of bottles of say 4-5oz?? I dont think there would be much effect on your milk supply if you expressed off everything before you went to bed and in the morning (or feed your LO first thing) and if you wake in the night express (don't bother sterilising just chuck it)

With regards to your not sleeping. Obviously you need a proper wind down, bath, book, lavender oil what ever it takes. If you're mentally prepared for DH taking over maybe you'll feel a bit more rested by the time you get to bed. Could you book into a hotel for the night or something? I know this would feel strange but at least you wouldn't hear what was going on and no harm is going to come of you not being there for a night or two.

With regards to daytime feeds. My DD is also getting a bit distracted and I have to take her away from the action sometimes in order to get her to feed properly.

Anyway, gotta go, she's started.

well I fed lo at 6pm and left dh with a bottle of ebm while I had my first night out since he was born - went out for a meal with some friends. got back at 11pm and you'll never believe this but he SLEPT THE WHOLE TIME but WOKE UP THE MINUTE I WALKED THROUGH THE DOOR - literally - I just couldn't believe it - he has never gone this long between feeds apart from once when we did pu/pd and he was exhausted from crying and once when he was ill. do they have a telepathic link to us or something?? anyway dh had put the bottle in the fridge and did the first night feed which was fantastic and I was amazed to find in the morning that he had actually taken the bottle which is the first time ever. only 2oz but he'd had a big feed at 11pm so wouldn't have expected him to take much at 1am anyway. so pleased. I did wake up when dh was shushing him to sleep but much better and was able to sleep 12 till 3 when he woke for the next feed. we're going to do it every night now : )