Toddlers with dummies - your experiences please

[Elephanty21]

Hi ladies,

I have found myself in an unusual situation which I didn't foresee.

My 14 month old didn't use a dummy at all before around 8 months old and I was very lucky that he was able to fall asleep independently from an early age.

However at 8 months old, he began waking for the day at 4.30am - nothing we tried worked to extend his sleep, so tried giving him dummy at this time. It worked, and he would then sleep an extra couple of hours. I worried about him becoming addicted and needing it at other times, but he never did.

Over the past 3 weeks, his molars have started to come through and I have never seen him so distressed, his previous teeth didn't cause anything like this level of upset. Nothing has worked to soothe him including calpol, so we have resorted to the dummy to get us through a difficult patch, and thankfully it has worked a treat.

However now his teeth are through, and we cannot get him to sleep without the dummy anymore - he is sobbing for it at nap time and bedtime sleep and over an hour of trying to soothe him in other ways is just not working. I won't leave him to cry so have tried all the other tricks I have to no avail!

I am feeling as though I have failed because nothing I can do will soothe him and all he wants is the dummy. I feel so frustrated because a few weeks ago he easily fell asleep without it. Part of me feels we should just let him have it if it soothes him and helps him sleep, but another part of me really hates the fact that we have essentially started using it after a year old!

Has anyone else had a similar experience? For those who have used the dummy past 1 year old how did you wean off it and was it a nightmare? To clarify, he hands it back as soon as he is awake and I will never allow him to have it aside from for sleep. He has lots of words already and am not worried about it affecting his communication.

I agreeing with everyone who says just let him have the dummy.

My DD also gave hers up at the age of three. We managed to cut down to bedtime only (and at two, I would never have believed that could be possible!) and then once she turned three I realised that we gave it to her out of habit. We tried putting her to bed without it and she didn't even ask. Success!

I see so much worry and hand wringing on MN about trying to get babies to give up their dummy. I don't see why it's such a bad thing? Yeah, you get ridiculous dummy snobs acting like they're the worst things ever, but screw them. They are so comforting when they're tired and/or teething.

shestoodinthestorm I recently bought a book called Bea gives up her dummy (or there is Ben gives up his dummy) to introduce the idea to DD (2.8).

She's only had hers at nap and bedtime since she was about 2 but she's pestering for it late afternoon if she's not had a nap recently so I want to get rid completely rather than go backwards.

DS is 2.8 and we have just removed the dummy. It was slightly split, so we said to him 'It's broken. Let's put it in the bin'. He did, and he hasn't asked for it since.

It was a total lifesaver though. Only used at night/naps.

Thank you all again so much. I feel much better about it and am cutting myself some slack.

Today he had a lovely long nap without it and made no fuss at all.
At bed time he was obviously in pain with his teeth and cried when we tried to put him down without it - gave it and he went straight to sleep.

I will keep putting him down without it at first but I'm not going to with hold it from him if he wants it and will just accept that it is very soothing for him right now.

Stories of how easily your children have given them up have really helped me so thank you all :-)

Meh, DD2 and 3 both still have them (4 and 2) only to sleep and it soothes them in a fairly traumatic time.

DD2 will be giving it up soon I know.

DD1 gave hers to the dummy fairy at age 3, very easy.

All 3 DDs have no dental issues, no lisps and the two year old just said a full 7 word sentence.

Pick your battles.