2y/o sleep issues - feeling depressed, desperate

[Kittiewhite89]

Hi
Very loving post!!

I recently posted about my 2 year old daughters new out of the blue sleep issues.
They seemed to start after a nightmare she had and we presumed she was scared of her toddler bed and switched back to the cot, but we're still having the issues.

Original post shortened:

• 2 nights ago she woke up screaming/literally terrified
• Kept saying "ponies" and "twilight, twilight fine" (she watched my little pony)
• kept asking to sleep in our bed or go downstairs
• My partner eventually got her to sleep by getting in the toddler bed with her
• Put down for a nap the next day and the crying/screaming happened again - I sat in with her for a bit and she just kept looking at me and asking to get out
• Last night screamed none stop so I sat in her room until she fell asleep
• Woke early morning after screaming again ***

Last night I sat in her room until she fell asleep and she woke up at 3am screaming, seems to be similar time each night. I went in every few mins and lay her back down but the screaming never stopped or slowed down, she just wouldn't give up.
Eventually after an hour I just left her to cry. She screamed for 2 hours, fell asleep, woke up again after 10 mins and screamed again, fell asleep and screamed again for 30 mins. When she screams it's crying and a combination of screaming mummy or daddy literally none stop.

She's been doing it for about a week now with no signs of improvement. She has a nightlight/music projector thing, teddies and a dummy, same bedtime routine we've always had.

This goes hand in hand with out of this world clinginginess in the daytime and won't go anywhere or do anything on her own. If me or her dad go upstairs or out of the room she starts to whine and follows us.

Spoke to HV today who said to just keep going into her room in intervals calming her down but this doesn't help DD and she doesn't stop or calm down at all.

I've read it's common at this age but all the stories I've read, the children have more understanding so can tell their parents why they are scared, can be told nightmares aren't real - but Isla doesn't understand anything I say in regards to her being safe and I'll see her in the morning etc.

I had a neighbour/family member message me this morning (they don't even live on my row) asking if it was dd that they heard screaming this morning, it was so embarrassing.

My actual question is, anyone experienced this and what worked for you?
I'm on day 4 of maybe 2 hours sleep a night and I'm back on sleeping tablets as the stress and anticipation of her waking has brought on my insomnia again.
I've never felt so stressed out feeling similar to when I had PND.
Not sure whether to let her CIO. I've never done his with her before but I just literally can't take it anymore.

Thank you

I'm so sorry I can't offer much help. Too long in the tooth for modern sleep systems, I just copied my mother and shut the door and told them they weren't allowed up except for the toilet. (Seems a bit harsh these days)

I did want to let you know that you have written your dd's name down twice which may make your post identifying as not a common name. Perhaps ask MNHQ to edit.

I wish you lots of luck. Sleep deprivation is horrible. Didn't suffer with the kids but have been a long term insomniac so you have my sympathy..

I remember a similar phase with one of my DC where they kept wanting someone there. I just brought them into my bed as I couldn't face the thought of them so distressed. The fear was very real and they were really beyond calming in their own bed. Hope you have a better night.

I think at this point ylu need to do whateevr stops her screaming whether it's bringing her into your bed every night or bringing a mattress into hers.
We had similar at this age with DD, she suddenly became aware of the dark and her imaginative play ramped up. There were also changes like her starting preschool and me being ill (pregnancy).
This won't last forever but i think at this age it would be awful to practice CIO as she sounds genuinely distressed.
She needs comfort and reassurance but it's only temporary OP just try and get tbeough as best you can (I know what it's like to feel like you're losing your mind) hugs

Sorry for spelling my phone is an idiot!

Agree with previous poster. I appreciate, it might not be what you want but for the sake of your mental health, let her sleep with you or get in with her if that is possible.

Sorry you're going through this OP. If you think this all started with a my little pony dream- could you do something fairly theatrical and hammy in her room about 'chasing the ponies away' with 'magic dust' or something like that? I read somewhere that kids can't distinguish between what is real/isn't- so instead of saying 'there aren't any ponies in your room sweetheart' you make a big song and dance of getting rid of them. Apols if you've already tried something like this. X

Have you tried sitting with her stoking her back/singing softly to calm her down? If mine wakes in the night and is obviously upset or scared I wouldn't walk away while he was still upset. Toddlers need help to calm down and get their emotions under control - they don't have the brain capability to do it themselves. Once she is calm or asleep then you can try and leave her.

I would put her in bed with me. Everything is a phase and while she's going through this one I would let her feel safe and secure snuggled up with you.
Only having 2 hours sleep is awful, I would've put her next to me in bed.