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Sleep

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Original poster

Disagree with DH over breaking bedtime for MILs bday?

45 replies

emmajlh · 30/01/2007 13:49

Hi,

Our DD is 12 weeks old and since new year i've got her onto a bedtime routine which has been starting earlier and earlier as she has got tired earlier and having less sleep in the day etc. So she now goes to bed at 6pm. It works brilliantly and am chuffed to have the evenings to spend with DH

However, it has just dawned on my DH that this means we can't got out in the evening - for example over to his parents house this week as it's his mums bday. He suggested we could take her and just take a travel cot but i disagreed and said we should just see them at the weekend or alternatively he could pop over there by himself one evening this week.

As far as i'm concerned 'breaking bedtime' should only be for v special occasions such as xmas or new yrs eve.
Am i being unreasonable? on what grounds will you 'break the bedtime' routine for?

Since having our DD we haven't had to make huge life changes as we weren't big 'going out' type people so she has slotted in quite nicely however whereas i recognise the small areas in our lives that do need to change my DH seems to be resisting it and preferring the 'she needs to fit in with us' approach.

any views or similar experiences?

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Caligula · 30/01/2007 14:37

tbh at that age a routine is pretty much embedded after about 4 or 5 days, ime. (Unless I was just extraordinarily lucky.)

I think you'll be OK.

Bozza · 30/01/2007 14:50

So MIL won't get to spend time with DD anyway? Could you not go with just DD during the day and earn a few brownie points and then send DH over in the evening?

ja9 · 30/01/2007 14:54

i think you're being unreasonable. i'm a routine freak myself but happy to break it for special occasions. surely just taking dd to mil and putting her there is keeping her to her routine .. and preventing you from isolating yourselves from the rest of the family?

mosschops30 · 30/01/2007 15:06

yes i think youre being unreasonable, as your dd is only 12 wks old your routines will change with her direction over the next two years and she will generally lead this by what she does and doesnt need sleep wise and meal times will change when you wean so then will change again.

I think one night for MIL bithday isnt too bad, and if hes offering to take the travel cot then looks like he's trying to come to a compromise

VeniVidiVickiQV · 30/01/2007 15:35

Cali - you were definitely lucky

Caligula · 30/01/2007 16:18

No no VVV - doncha know it was just because I was a better mother than you!

VeniVidiVickiQV · 30/01/2007 16:47

You, you, werent....following instructions from SWMNBN?????

FluffyMummy123 · 30/01/2007 16:48

Message withdrawn

ledodgy · 30/01/2007 16:49

I also think you're being slightly unreasonable you can take a travel cot so she'll still go to bed. IMO it does them good getting them to go to sleep in different environments otherwise travel etc in the future will be a nightmare.

Caligula · 30/01/2007 16:54

VVV - as if!

(I'd never heard of her before mumsnet, tbh)

VeniVidiVickiQV · 30/01/2007 16:59

Yeah yeah. She doth protest too much an' all that

CountessDracula · 30/01/2007 17:01

I think you are making a bit of a rod for your own back, but then I break routines regularly!

soph28 · 30/01/2007 17:07

I was like you and both of ours have been in good bedtime routines from a few weeks old (now 6mo and 22mo) but we have broken the routine on quite a few occasions and TBH it makes absolutely no difference whatsoever. The next night it is completely back to normal. I know you panic that all your hard work will be wasted because your LO will be thrown- but honestly she'll be fine!

Caligula · 30/01/2007 17:37

No really. When I first heard of her, I thought "oh, I did that. Not so strictly, but I had a basic routine. What are they all complaining about?"

Then I learned more ...

And realised what they were all complaining about!

FluffyMummy123 · 30/01/2007 17:37

Message withdrawn

bundle · 30/01/2007 17:38

in my totally non-scientific experience the ones who sleep well at the beginning..are the worst sleepers later on

northerner · 30/01/2007 17:39

No take her with you and go. She is very portable now so do it while you can!!!

cece · 30/01/2007 17:43

bundle - sadly I think you are right. DS slept fantastically as a baby. Now at 3 he wakes us most nights

unknownrebelbang · 30/01/2007 17:47

MIL's birthday = worth making the effort for.

My DH wouldn't have been happy if baby was in bed at 6 pm, and he didn't come in until 6.30 pm - he'd have much preferred to spend the time with baby rather than me, lol.

Bozza · 30/01/2007 21:35

Yes I picked up on that too. Wouldn't 7.30 be a better sort of bedtime then DH can spend some time with her?

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